What We Wouldn't Say Aloud

Breathe

Breathe

"Breathe."
Don't tell me to breathe when I'm gasping for air.
"You're just being sensitive."
I don't think that's fair.

"Breathe!"
Can't you see that I'm trying?
"Just try not to think about it so much."
That doesn't help when it feels like you're dying.
"You're just being dramatic, here we go now she's crying."
"You're making it up."
I'm not lying.

"Stop!"
"Put down the tissues."
"There are people with ACTUAL issues."
"You're causing a scene."
I'm sorry, I didn't mean....
"What happened? You used to be so keen."
I hate that I have to bounce in between,
highs and lows, this emotional trampoline.
How did a lecture become of asking for help with thoughts I juggle?
They constantly undermine my struggle.

"Maybe you're just having a bad day."
No it's not just today.
"YOU'RE OKAY!"
I always feel this way.
You just can't see, until it's on display.
"Everybody feels that way."
"I have stress too and I don't freak out."
I'm overwhelmed, please don't shout.

"You need to get,
over it. "
"It's not that bad."
I didn't mean to make you mad.
"I'm not mad."
"Just calm down."
These emotions they drown-
me.
Thoughts hover around-
me.

"You're literally fine."
"Count backwards from ten."
"Nine"
Eight,
I hate,
being stuck in this state.
"Seven,"
Praying to my angels in heaven.
Got to be something in heaven.
"Six,"
Burned out, like a candle, down to it's wicks.
Don't know how to fix....
"Five,"
Constantly trying to survive.
Miss when I used to feel alive.
"Four...."
Please no more.
That never works anyway.

"god, you should just medicate."
"Go for a walk, drink some water, or meditate."
"Anxiety Isn't even real, this generations just weak."
If you've ever felt this way for a minute you'd never speak,
you don't know how it feels for your mind to be a trap.
"Relax! I support it, I wore a cap."

"Breathe."
"It's just a phase."
I've struggled to get out of bed for days.
"How did I raise,
a child this lazy?"
Heartbeat rapid, vision blurry, mind hazy.

"You're acting crazy."
I just need someone to ....
Stay.
"Off that damn phone."
I feel so alone,
like I have to do this all on my own.

"It's all in your head."
I know you're trying to help, but It's these kinds of phrases I dread.
This is what I need instead.

See people with anxiety never get compliments on what they are doing right but are rather constantly reminded of everything they're doing wrong. Regardless of these comments they only make most people feel worse. It's the little happy comments that are the kind of thing we wish we could hear more often.

So please, if you can remember try to say,

I'm here for you, to support you.
You did good today!
This will pass.
We'll get through it together, I'm going to stay.
Let's go for a drive, how can I help?
"Your feelings are valid in every way.
Please don't say....

"BREATHE."
It doesn't help when you tell me to ....
Breathe.