What's Up, Doc? • Chris Evans (BWWM)

Pizza & Past Traumas

TW: hate speech

"Boudicca here's your pupicunio," I took my girl for a walk and got her a treat from Starbucks since I ignored her last night. I'm taking today easy since I know Julian's going to be bugging me tomorrow to check his ankle to clear him for Thursday.
I wanted to text Chris good morning but the sun is just coming up. After my Starbucks run Boudicca and I headed home. My favorite place.

When we got off the elevator Boudicca was walking faster than usual to the apartment. I seen why as we turned the corner. My girlfriends from New York were standing at my front door. Boudicca did a happy bark that caught their attention.
They all exclaimed something different seeing me.
"What are y'all doing here?" I as as they all went to pet Boudicca.

"You didn't tell us you went on a date with Captain Fucking America!" Julissa jumped up and down.
"Get inside before one of my neighbors complain there's black people in the hallway," I let them into my place and began to get bombarded with questions.
"Everybody shhhhh," I said,
"Fuck shhhh. You wasn't answering your phone after going on a date you didn't tell none of us about," Kelandra said going through her purse as she sat on my couch.
"Y'all know I put my phone on DND in the morning on my off days. How did y'all get here?"
"This bitch woke us up 3 am to take a four hour train ride to come here to make sure you wasn't dead," Julissa said.
"I just came to make sure you weren't dead. Not be in your business," she hugged me which I returned.
"I came to be in the business. That's Chris Fucking Evans. The hottest eligible bachelor since Leonardo DiCaprio and you went on a date with him," Liza sad going into my fridge.

"Wait, how do y'all know?"
"I got up to pee and when I checked my phone when I got back to bed I saw TMZ talking about "Chris Evans hot date and your picture in the fucking thumbnail," Kelandra said opening her laptop.
"Look," I grabbed her and sat across from her on my ottoman across from her.
I was prepared to possibly have my picture taken but damn they move fast.
"You look good, bitch. Them titties is sitting," Julissa said sitting behind me. They got a picture of us walking to our table, one of us at the table smiling, and one when we were laughing at the milk then cereal comment.
"Y'all was booed up. You sure we ain't miss a date?" Julissa asked.
"No, he asked me out the day after the season opener game,"
"Stoorrry time!" Liza exclaimed before digging a spoon into my last parfait.

"It's nothing crazy. We met after the game. He had a few drinks so he asked me out the next day. We had dinner then dessert at this bar. That was it,"
"My grandma can tell a better story and she dead," I smacked Julissa in the shoulder.
"Come on. What did y'all talk about? What's happening in Infinity War 2?" Kel asked.
"He didn't talk much about his career. He was super into mine. He didn't ask me about Brady. First guy I ever went on a date with to do that. He's a sweetheart,"
"How his dick taste?" Julissa asked making us bust out laughing.
"I don't know. His lips were super soft though," they all gasped.
"He kissed you on the first date?" Kel said sounding slightly upset.
"Chill, I kissed him. It was quick. A peck," I wish it could of lasted longer but I'm a wuss.
"I would of put a different set of lips on his face," Liza said.
"Yes, you a hoe. She a virgin. Morals is different," Kel said pointing between us.
"I told him I am. He took him well. Thank God,"
"I hope so. All them other dudes you dated were weird. These men say they don't want a girl with a high body count, but then they don't want a girl with no bodies at all," Kel took her laptop back.
"Has he texted you?" Julissa asked.
"My phone is still on DND," I took it out of my pocket. No text messages but my Instagram notifications are stacking up.

"What the fuck?" I opened my email first.
"What?" Kel asked seeing my confused expression. I stayed quiet to see what's going on. I had so many likes and comments and new followers.
"Kel, refresh that article,"
"Okay," she did.
"Fuuuck. They got your name, Ari,"
"Fuck, how? I had like 200 followers before this,"
"Girl, you on Shade Room. Waaaaait, they got your name first," Julissa said hopping up off the ottoman.
"Let me go on Twitter," Liza said pulling her phone out.
"It's probably one of your jealous coworkers. Let me hit my TMZ connect because-"
"Not them saying y'all got the same haircut," Liza cut off Kel laughing.
"Huh?"
"Chris Evans trending on Twitter. Number 4 worldwide,"
"I don't even have Twitter,"
"Not this nigga saying she need to drop that hero and get with a negro," Julissa shock her head looking at her phone across from Liza in my kitchen.
"If y'all don't get off Twitter," Kel said typing on her phone.