What's Up, Doc? • Chris Evans (BWWM)

he touched the butt.

"Boudicca why does your mom make me so nervous, huh? Huh?"
Being a stay at home dog dad is very hard.
Since New Year's I haven't seen much of my Ari. Only communication we get is through FaceTime and calls. She's so busy that I think she's really forgotten about her birthday tomorrow. But it's also the AFC Championships tomorrow so I'm sure turning 33 is the last thing on her mind. It's the first thing on mine though. She said she doesn't do anything for her birthday. She'll hold off celebrating it until March and book a flight somewhere with her girls. But that's no fun. Birthdays should always be celebrated on your birthday.

Me being the best boyfriend decided to not listen and throw her a party. A party of me and the dogs but still a party. I'm going to try to cook for her and bake a cake.
I have my mom , brother, and sisters coming to over to test my cooking before I serve it to my girl.
"Boudicca come on girl. Time to come in," Ariel is right. Boudicca has so much energy. Dodger went to lay down after their walk. I still needed to throw the ball around with her.
"Come on girl. Daddy's cold," she came in and hopped up on the couch with Dodge.
I checked my Amazon app to see where my groceries and decorations were at. Oh, shit they're here. I need to tip this guy extra for not ringing the doorbell. Every dog owners worst nightmare.
"Oh, shit. You're Captain America,"
"Hey man. Here's your tip,"
"Thanks, your wife is fucking hot by the way. Enjoy your stuff," I closed the door.
Ariel's in the news again. Since Liza posted that picture all the blogs have been posting we're secretly married. I know there's some poor intern that's been given the task to find a marriage certificate that doesn't exist.

I went through the bags to make sure everything I order was there. I bought extra ingredients in case I burn anything.
"You guys think mommy will like brisket enchiladas?" I looked over at the dogs who were licking each other.
"Wow, make me feel more lonely guys,"
I got a text from Scott saying he's at the door.
"Broootheeeer." I hugged him.
"I was told there would be cake here,"
"Yes, I just have to make it,"
"The girls should be here soon. I think they stopped at the store to get things they thought you may have forgotten about,"
"I have everything. I even bought birthday hats for the dogs,"
"So you're going to host the game tomorrow and make dinner for Ariel,"
"I'm going to bake her cake tomorrow morning. Then you and the boys will come over. We watch the Pats stamp their ticket to the Super Bowl then I start making enchiladas,"
"What you get her as a present?"
"Skittles,"
"Skittles?"
"Skittles,"
".... Skittles?"
"Yes! She said she doesn't want a big gift since I got her so much for Christmas," I showed him the family size pack of Tropical skittles I got.
"They make Tropical in the big bag?"
"I had to special order it,"
"This is all very cute. What cake are you making?""
"Funfetti,"
"Betty Crocker?"
"From scratch," he gave me an are you serious look. Before I could defend myself the door bell rang. The dogs started barking.
"That has to be Carly. She doesn't follow my leave the door bell alone rule," I got the door. My mom and sisters both arrived.
"The door bell?"
"How about you uninstall it?"
"How about you don't ring it,"
"Stop it you two," my mom said. Carly stuck her tongue out at me which I returned.
"Okay, Chris we're here to judge your cooking. Where's the cooking?"
"Well, that's what I need help on. How to cook it,"
"I came here on a hungry stomach for nothing? What are you making for your Dr. McHottie?" Shanna asked.
"She loves brisket. She loves Mexican food. Tacos would be too easy. So I want to make her brisket enchiladas,"
"How are you going to cook the briskets?"
"Google said I can put it on the oven.... Do I bake it inside the enchiladas?"
"No, do you want to give her food poisoning?"
"Don't kill her, Chris. She gives great Christmas presents,"
"So I cook the meat first? Okay," I grabbed the rack of brisket I got from the butcher on the counter.
"What kind of pan for this, ladies?" My mom laughed shaking her head.
"What?"
"It's just cute how you're doing all this for her. Put it in a roasting pot," I stared at her and raised a eye brow.
"Christopher you know what a roasting pot looks like. What I put meatloaf in,"
"OOOHHHH," I went under the island and pulled the pot out.
"That's a Dutch oven, Chris," Carly said. My mom got up and started going through my cabinets.
"He's also going to make her cake from scratch," Scott told them.
"Chris don't overwhelm yourself," Carly said peeking in the grocery bags.
"I'm not. That's why you beautiful women are here. To guide me,"
"Why is Scott here?"
"We're playing Co Op mode on the newCall of Duty tonight,"
"What sides are you making?"
"I bought cilantro lime rice,"
"So you bought rice. The easiest thing to make yourself?"
"Maybe if I give you guys wine you'll believe in me,"
"Make it two,"
My family helped me practice cooking Ariel's dinner for tomorrow. Shanna and Carly showed me how to roll to tortillas so the meat doesn't fall out. My mom showed me how to dress a plate.
"How's the sauce?" I asked as they ate.
"It may be the Italian in me but it needs more cheese. It taste good though," Shanna said.
"More cheese. Anything else?"
"Cut the limes for her,"
"Got it. Time for cake,"
"Chris save yourself tears and get box cake,"
"That woman is taking me to Alaska to see the Northern Lights. She gets homemade cake,"
"I forgot that's what you're doing for Valentine's Day. What are you doing for her?"
"I don't know. Let me get past her birthday and then I'll focus on Valentine's Day,"
"How is she doing after that Liza hit on you?"
"She been focused on work, and avoiding social media since she's my wife now. I think she was the one leaking our personal business to the blogs,"
"Probably, I went through her Instagram. She went from not posting pictures with Ariel to posting pictures after you two started dating,"
"She's a user. I'm honestly happy they're not friends anymore,"
"They still follow each other on Instagram,"
"She'll unfollow her when she gets back on Instagram,"
I went grabbed cake leveler.
"Oh, you really doing this,"
"You believe me in ma?"
"I do sweetie. But make sure you grease these pots,"
"They're non stick,"
"Grease them," my mom and sisters said in unison.
"Got it. Got it,"
I made one layer of cake and it turned out good actually. I'm way more confident about making dinner for my girl.
My mom and sisters left and Scott stayed so we can play games. I ordered Elone's because I'm not cooking again until tomorrow.
"Ohhh right to the dome!" The old man still has it.
In the middle of multiplayer Ariel called me.
"Protect me Scott," I got up.
"No promises,"
I went into the family room and answered my phone to see my very hot girlfriend on my screen. She removed her locks and is back to the short cut so I get to see all of that beautiful face.
"Hi baby. Looking wicked handsome as usual,"
"Thank you, you just got in?"
"Yeah, this hotel has a massaging shower head,"
"You didn't FaceTime me while you were showering? Wow babe,"
"Don't act like I haven't been sending you videos," she has been sending me videos of her playing with herself. Her face isn't in it sadly but it's great content. Getting me through these cold winter nights.
"You're right, and you look great in them,"
"Oh I know. Now let me see the puppies," I called the dogs over.
"All my furry babies! Ugh I miss you guys,"
"You're coming home tomorrow, babe. On your birthday!"
"Like the last three hours of my birthday. I hate when we're the evening game,"
"How's Green Bay?"
"Preparing me for the Alaska," I laughed.
"There's a bunch of gifts at my door for you,"
"I think we've unofficially moved in together. You have my dog. All my friends send stuff to your house. Half of my fuzzy socks are in your dresser,"
"Yeah, we need to change the address on your driver license. The last name too," I winked making her smile.
"Smooth baby,"
"So what time should you be landing there tomorrow,"
"Like 10 pm. Don't wait up,"
"It's your birthday, Ari. I'm waiting up,"
"Just please have the fireplace on when I get home. I'm pretty sure I'll be a ice cube by the time I get home,"
"Fireplace will be lit," she narrowed her eyes at me.
"And nooooo surprise party,"
"I think Boudicca is planning something. Get mad at her. Not me,"
"Okay,,when I see streamers hanging up tomorrow I know to blame the animal with thumbs,"
"And that's why you have a PhD,"
"CHRIS! PLUNDER OR BATTLE ROYALE?!"
"PLUNDER! Sorry, I was playing COD,"
"I let you go have boy time,"
"Can't wait until you get home,"
"Can't wait to test out that beard," I chuckled.
"You haven't sat on my face yet, huh?"
"No," she smiled shyly.
"Go play games,"
"Sweet dream, beautiful,"
"Good night, babe,"