Haikyuu One-shots

Haikyuu as quotes

These are all things that have been said by my friends recently. If you want the story behind the quote, please let me know. These are all typed exactly as they were said.

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Tanaka: You can't even do your own workout
Noya: Disgraceful
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Bokuto: We need to stop picking off the French teachers
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Kuroo: Life is like you're a kindergartener playing kickball and your opponent is a major league baseball team.
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Yaku: The statue of liberty would melt before it would burn
Lev: Well then it would be the puddle of liberty
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Tanaka: Is it commit or do arson?
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Kenma: 2 plus 2 equals four, I don't want to play
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Mattsun: Good enough to get weird goblin mountain dew commercials
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Bokuto: You left me alone with some knives and some chicken what do you expect?
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Kuroo: Yeah, mod rush. We do mods and we rush
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Noya: Yeah, we're gonna kill a camel!
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Ennoshita: Quick question why does it make oven noises when you heal it
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Futakuchi: I'm going to beat you up like a child
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Oikawa: WHERE IS THE GRASS? THERE IS NO GRASS!
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Makki: Now to commit some serious war crimes, poggies!
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Mattsun: Can I sell children?
Makki: That would be pretty cool
Mattsun: That would be epic!
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Asahi: Yo ya just kinda got burned by holy fire
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Kinoshita: Fight me, google!
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Oikawa: I'm just going and beating up small children
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Kenma: I'm killing innocent animals to level up other innocent animals
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Noya: I'm literally cooking my pokemon
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Suga: Yo I'm going to lick you
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Kindaichi: Well we're gonna get clapped
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Kenma: Ponita you're mine
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Also Kenma: Casually cooking my pokemon
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Kageyama: I love how we've unanimously accepted that I'm screwed
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Yamaguchi: I just found squidward the pokemon
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Kyoutani: Sabotage! *demonic screeching*
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Suga: I'm going to beat you over the head with furniture
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Oikawa: Yeah you better run away from the bed
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Ennoshita: I'm not naming my fox twitter.com
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Kenma:*squeals*
Kuroo: Bro you good?
Kenma: I JUST GOT FOOD
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Suga: It's a delivery story emporium, and her name is Emma Zon. (Amazon)
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Yahaba: It's ikea but Amazon
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Oikawa: She's still alive???
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Bokuto: *various bird noises*
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The fandom at the characters: Question, how are you so hot?
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Kageyama: Why would you spray me in the eyes with sunscreen?
Oikawa: Let me see, you won't
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Kimoshita: When is DND time?
Narita: About 30 minutes after we're supposed to start
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Makki: Why would you send someone to the box? For talking? For being annoying? For randomly killing a prisoner?
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Noya: Oh DM, bring us DND
Ennoshita: *from a distance* I'm getting my notes together!
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Iwaizumi: We're all allowed to have opinions, except Oikawa
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Fukunaga: Oh, that's where my notes were, thanks for keeping them, stove!
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Kindaichi: No! Not the college architecture textbook!
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Oikawa: The meaning if life is 42
Kunimi: No, it's negative 5
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Hinata: Kageyama, do you know what this means?
Kageyama: What does it mean?
Hinata: I don't know.
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Kinoshita: Back to DND, he says as he doesn't go back to DND
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Kindaichi: The only reason you're friends with me is because I have an architecture textbook
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Tanaka: Thats a small sum for putting our lives in the danger
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Hinata, talking about Kindaichi: What's his hair look like?
Kageyama: Bad
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Noya: I eat like a tortoise who fears death
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Futakuchi: The barn of y'all
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Suga:I'm fully expecting like a rat or something to fall out of the ceiling

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