The Lonely Rabbit and Broken Thief

Chapter Five

He always described himself as sinking.

It was a bottomless pit that he never felt like climbing out of because he was hopeless. It swallowed him in a warming numbness that made him not want to leave. At the same time, it was suffocating. It was painful and lonely. It was dark and consuming. No matter what he did, he was stuck in an endless loop of being too afraid to leave, but too fed-up to stay.

Lifty. Why'd you have to leave?

Shifty came to well into the night. He had been disoriented at first. Couldn't figure out where he was. He had attempted to move, but was startled when he felt a weight over him. He almost panicked when he heard a familiar groan beside him. He tensed when he felt Cuddles nuzzle his face into his exposed neck.

A sudden calm washed over him that he didn't want to come. He wanted to be angry and loud. He wanted to push Cuddles off, but he was so touched starved that he didn't move another inch.

When he lived at the apartment with Lifty, he had purposely gotten a one bedroom, one bath. He told Lifty it was because they couldn't afford it. In reality, he didn't want Lifty to sleep in a separate room away from him. He couldn't sleep alone at night. An irrational fear that someone would come in and hurt him always plagued his mind. And that fear extended towards Lifty. If he wasn't there, he couldn't protect him.

But since he had been living alone, he had been drinking every day to lull him to sleep, either because he was dying or the alcohol inhibited his fears, whichever worked for him. He moved a bit, turning to make Cuddles move his face and also because he wanted to cuddle. He wanted the warmth of another person. He needed it.

Cuddles always had a muscular physic. Always warm. Always safe despite Shifty saying otherwise. He hated to admit it, but he was glad Cuddles was here. He still hated him. But being alone only made things worse. No support system. No family. No real friends. No Lifty.

Shifty felt a migraine hitting him. He hadn't had a drink since Cuddles came over. He laid there, feeling sick. His stomach churned over and over, almost within seconds of each other. He squirmed when he felt an ache in his chest, but he didn't want to move. Of course, all of his squirming roused Cuddles. The rabbit groaned and began to sit up, startling him a bit.

"Ugh, Shifty? You awake now?"

In a panic, Shifty shut his eyes before Cuddles could open his. His heart was racing and the threat of throwing up made it worse. He wanted Cuddles to leave. He wanted him to stay. He needed help, but he wasn't ever going to say it out loud. Shifty winced a bit when he felt Cuddles poke his cheek.

"Are you faking sleep right now?

Shifty opted not to respond. He was already embarrassed enough to find himself in this position with Cuddles again. He had ended their so-called relationship back in high school. He had told Cuddles never to speak to him again. That he hated him. He never wanted to see him again. But their town was still small. He always saw the rabbit almost on a daily basis. His stupid, handsome face always made him feel hatred, but, at the same time, longing. He always had Lifty pickpocket him when he felt brave enough to send his brother to confront him.

"Shifty."

Stop saying my name like that...

He felt Cuddles place his hand on his cheek. The contact actually made him very happy. But then his stomach lurched and he shot up, covering his mouth. He tried to get off the bed and run to the bathroom, but it was too late. He emptied his stomach on the side of the bed. He panted and tried to catch his breath, but he threw up again, emptying his stomach of all the food he had earlier that day.