The Lonely Rabbit and Broken Thief

Chapter Seventeen

Warning: self-harm, mentions of child abuse/neglect, hurt/comfort

When Cuddles and Shifty broke up, something in him had broke. He hid it very well though, the pain and loss he felt. He never told a single person their secret, so he had no idea how to deal with it. Instead, all he could think about was his image.

Of course, none of that ever mattered in the first place.

"Will they come see me?"

Cuddles had been practicing for a gig in the talent show that was sponsored by American Idol. He had always loved music. While his parents didn't care one bit about what he did, they did, at one point, voice their disapproval for his hobby. It wasn't a steady form of work and there wasn't any guarentee that he could succeed. No encouragement. No attempted to steer him away from it. It was a one time thing that made Cuddles want to do it more and impress him when he succeeded.

"No. They said they weren't interested."

The words stung, but Cuddles still smiled. Inside, he felt his heart aching. The wound from being dumped was still fresh. His "friends" teased him about his ambitions for music since he had been a debater and soccer player his whole life. He had only ever played in front of Shifty.

"Can you give them these anyways?" He held out two tickets and the butler took it with a disdainful look on his face. "Just in case they change their minds."

He walked off to his room and sat there. He wanted to cry, but no tears came out. He had cried for three days after Shifty dumped him and pretended to be sick to avoid going to school. In retaliation, he blocked Shifty's number and had stopped talking to him, stopped making an effort to see him. It was all so Shifty would come crawling back for forgiveness for hurting him so. But it seemed to have no effect on Shifty.

Cuddles laid on his bed and stared at the cieling. The days were blurring as they got closer to day of the talent show. He had one more ticket. He wanted to give it to Shifty. Shifty had been the only person who knew of his passions and had encouraged him to pursue it. His heart ached so much that he almost didn't go.

He still went, taking his guitar. It was a daze for him. He sung a song he had written for Shifty that he never got to share with him.

You're always racing in my mind.

Beautiful, lovely, green breath of life.

Take my hand and we'll run away, somewhere far and somewhere safe.

I'm me when I'm with you, safe and sure, my love is true.

The audition went well. That's when Cuddles really gained his fame and following. He started getting record deals. He got a manager and a team to help him get him gigs and perform with other famous singers. There was some pride in there for Cuddles. But it didn't mean anything for him at the time because the people he wanted to share his success with didn't have any interest in him.

The pain had gotten to the point that he needed some way to release it. It was unintentional, what he began to do. The cuts he made in his flesh did stop the ache he felt in his chest. They always disappeared when he died, which he frequently did. People always thought it was an accident, but he purposely got in the way to be hurt. It was easier.