The one he'd never love (ON HOLD)

Chapter three

"We really don't have to do this - this is super old fashioned anyways times have changed," he says moving a tad bit closer.

"No- it's fine," I reassure him. I take them off quickly and am left in my undergarments.

"You don't have to take those off-," he says. I nod and leave them on.

I've never been this exposed in front of anyone, not even Peyton. Maybe they do this for a reason as some sort of trust building thing.

I didn't exactly know what I was supposed to do. He was standing a few feet away but he inched his way closer and closer.

He makes direct eye contact with me. My heart starts racing and all those feeling come back. The butterflies, anxiousness, and fear. Fear that deep down he might think I'm not pretty, or the fear that he might not want me.

"Amore, please stop thinking so negatively. I don't know you that well yet but I plan on being with you for the rest of our long lives if you'll let me. I want you. Trust me I want you," he says grabbing my hand.

A huge weight is lifted off my shoulders. God, Nolan fucked me up so much that the fear of him not wanting me crept into my head. The thought of Nolan also crept more into my head.

"What are you supposed to do?," I asked as he starred more into my soul.

"May I look?" His eyes never once looked down. Even with our close proximity. He really is a sweetheart. I nod and smile shyly. He makes me feel and act like my teenage self.

His eyes finally trailed down and grew darker by the second. He scanned every inch of my skin before his hands cupped my face.

"Can you sit there," he motioned to the bed. I complied and made my way over there crawling to the middle.

He inched his way closer to me and sat directly across from me.

"Tell me about everything, anything you want to tell me - I'll listen," he said resting his chin on his knee. He looked quite cute. Like a little kid listening to campfire stories.

"Well where do I even start," I sighed.

I wore one of his big shirts and a pair of his shorts to bed. He said he didn't want to intrude or something and he slept on the couch. This morning when I saw Peyton and Ansley I thought about how they looked so close only after just meeting but I see now. I want to be with him all the time now that he's here.

I tossed and turned in the bed. It was too big for just one person. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want him to be right beside me right now.

The clothes he gave me smelled so much like him which was comforting but I wanted to be with him to fill this hole in my heart.

Just as I was about to get off the bed my phone lit up on the nightstand and started buzzing. Who in the world would be calling at this hour? It was a number I didn't have saved, I stared at the phone for a little before I slowly answered the phone.

"Where are you?," The other voice says from the other end. I immediately recognize it.

"Nolan what in the world? It's two in the morning," I said resting against the bed.

"You're with him aren't you?," he asked distastefully.

"I am- it's because Peyton's with his mate at my brother's house and I actually wanted to come here. Why am I even telling you this?," I said realizing that I was trying to defend myself.

"I need to clear the air because there's so much stuff that happened here while you were away. So please can you hear me out? There's a lot I want to say to you," he asks.

"Go ahead," I sigh.

"First off - I never not wanted to be with you. When I first saw you, to now. My parents - who aren't really my parents -," he said quickly

"Wait what?," I said cutting him off.

"My parents are actually my aunt and uncle. My actual parents were killed when I was younger and my aunt and uncle raised me," he explained.
"They we're the ones who told me it was best to be with Jessica for whatever reason. But when I first saw you I knew you were so much better in so many ways. I tried really hard to be with you but I obviously could've tried harder," he said.

"I didn't stand up to them back then because I was such a fucking coward about it. After seeing you leave and feeling your rejection, I knew how bad I messed up. I went to Paris a few months after you were there because I needed to see you to tell you how sorry I was and that I wanted to work things out. I actually ran into your friend before I could find you. He knew about what I did and he beat the shit out of me."

My stomach starting to turn. He's probably talking about Hudson. It had to be him. I met him first, and he was the first person I trusted enough to tell about what happened.

"I let him do it because I deserved it. The pain you went through and what you felt was only a fraction of how I felt when he left me there bloody and bruised in the middle of the street," he said sighing. "I visited a lot that year but not as much compared to the next year."

"I went to Paris almost every month for the second year when you were there. I know it sounds creepy as hell but no one could get in touch with you for some weird reason. Every time I went I brought letters for you. From Abigail, your mom, your brothers, Kaiden and a ton that I poured my soul into. I gave them to your guard dog hoping you'd read them. I don't know if you ever got them but after you left everyone was working on fixing all the things we'd did and didn't do. All except Jessica of course," he said pausing again.

"Aniko, I'm so sorry. Sorry for the way I didn't stick by you, for not being there for you, and for everything else I've done. I care about you but I suck at showing it. I wanted you and still do but I didn't know what to do. I care about everything you do and I'm sorry I had such a negative effect on you," he said. I could hear the crack in his voice. Several silent tears streamed down my face and hit the bed sheets.

"If you want to be with him - I ... Please do whatever makes you happy because you deserve happiness," he said his voice hoarse. "I'm so bad with my words, actions, and expressing my feelings. But I'm telling you now Aniko. I've always wanted you and I'll always care about you," he said while his façade crumbled. I hear the deep and heavy breaths and the cries of my other mate.

My heart slowing started aching. Single tears turned into streams racing down my face and I suddenly I was sobbing with him.

"Please don't- don't cry," he said lightly

"Nolan, we- I," I said not knowing what to say. "I- I have to go... ok?," I said with my hand over my mouth trying to muffle the sobs coming. My throat was burning.

"Ok, goodnight Aniko," he said before the phone quickly disconnected.

I put the phone down with shaky hands not really sure on how to feel. What did they do here, while I was gone? All this time I thought they didn't write letters or want anything to do with me and how they forgot about me, but they wrote. What did they say? Why didn't Hudson give them to me if he had them?!

The door creeped open and light rain started to hit the window.

"Are you ok? What's wrong," Fabian said coming closer.

"I really really need a hug," I said crying more. He came closer and embraced me holding me close. Coming back here made me so emotional. It felt good though. I didn't let any of these emotions out before in Paris for years.

It feels really good to cry like this.

Sorry for errors! I'm honestly not too proud of this chapter - its more of a filler but we will be getting into the meat and potatoes soon! I also wanna mention everything regarding Jessica will also be cleared up soon I promise ( reading all your comments made me feel like I need to speed things up and get to the explanation butttt I wanna keep going at this pace in the story and not skip anything so like I said it's coming very very soon!)