empire | park sunghoon

19] Hana

Run Hana, just run. 

Lies, lies and even more lies. Things we can't escape from but a lot of times we wish we could. She didn't even get to say goodbye. Why didn't her mother say something? Did she even know she was gonna die so soon? And why did both Niki and Sunghoon choose to keep it from her? 

She ran and ran, her destination was home. But was it really home if her mother wasn't gonna be there anymore? Hana could feel herself shrink with every step she took. As she saw the crossing leading into ther neighbourhood she felt herself sigh in relief. Soon she could be out of everyone's sight and just be alone. 

As she stopped to breath she felt her sight go blurry. She was out of energy and if she kept running she would probably fall any minute. But if she was fast enough she could quickly regain her energy inside her house. 

"Maybe walking won't hurt" Hana said as she felt her body pleading for energy, food and water. 

She slowly started walking feeling her feet hurt everytime she took another step. Walking past all the houses she could finally see her own, and at the other side she could see his house. Just the thought of him made her sad. He was the last thing she wanted to think about. He was also the last thing she wanted to be mad at. He kept this big secret from her but she felt like there was more than that. He wouldn't keep such a thing from her, so what more was there behind all of this? 

"Hana?" a sudden voice called out behind her. She woke up from her thoughts only to realize that she hadn't moved at all since she started thinking about Sunghoon. 

When she turned around her eyes met with another pair of worried looking eyes. The eyes belonging to Jay himself. She hadn't seen him in a while. He had been busy with other courses and classes so she only got to see him when they were in their shared classes. He was always seated by Sunghoon and in the seat by the wall. During most lessons he just slept. 

"Oh hi Jay" she answered awkwardly. 

"Weren't Sunghoon supposed to walk you home today?" Jay knew that? Jay always walked home before them so there was no use for him to know. So did Sunghoon just say it out of nowhere? 

"Yeah I left early... Why do you know that?" Hana asked as she couldn't help but feel curious. 

"He never stops talking about you" Jay simply said with his hands in his pockets. He seemed so calm about finding Hana alone outside of her house just standing there alone instead of going inside. "You seem shaken up. Has anything happened? Look I know we're not close friends but I'm always hear to listen" he said as he gestured them to sit down on the stairs leading to her porch. 

She didn't wanna tell him every single detail. They didn't know each other that well but she also didn't have the heart to rethink about all of that right now. 

"Jay..." she started, making him stare right at her. "Is Sunghoon someone who lies?" 

The question immediately took Jay off guard since he quickly must've realized that Sunghoon did soemthing. Just by his reaction Hana could already tell that Sunghoon lying does not happen often. 

"No definitely not!" Hana looked at him as he was now looking at the sky. Like he was thinking about something as he wanted to say more. "I've known Sunghoon almost my whole life. Yes there has been white lies here and there, but bigger lies no. He doesn't keep secrets unless he really has to. He hates being lied to himself so he does his best to not be a person he would dislike himself" Hana just nodded. She took in every word Jay said and thought about what she guesse earlier. There was a reason behind it, she should've just let him say what it was. "Do you mind telling me what it was about?" 

She swallowed as she heard his question. She didn't know if it was too deep of a thing to tell him. But at the same time, they're friends. Maybe not the closest ones, but the more you tell the more trust you gain. He would have to know sooner or later and what difference does it make? 

"My mom passed away apparently" she blurted out which made his eyes look at her in worry again. "He knew, but he kept it from me" 

She saw how Jay nodded in the corner of her eyes. He didn't say a word, he was just understanding. It warmed her heart that he didn't push anything onto her, maybe further on they could be closer friends. It was already hard that she couldn't hang out with him more. But he was also the one who chose to slack in his studies. 

"I'm sure that Sunghoon has a reason behind that. Do you wanna know something about him?" the question immediately made Hana curious, but she didn't wanna say anything. "Sunghoon lost his father when he was just a little kid" Jay started and she gasped at his words. He didn't look at her right now, but she patiently waited for him to continue. "Ever since he lost his father and also a close friend that he had, he has constantly been afraid of death and the topic of death. When you camae to our school he was constantly questioning if he should stay close to you because whenever he meets new people he is afraid of getting too attached to them. He thinks that they're gonna die eventually when they are with him because of past trauma. Like it's a curse around him" 

Then a thought suddenly hit her as Jay spoke. The rooftop incident... Was he talking about their lives? Hana couldn't quite remember what he said that day, but he did talk about how useless this life was. Maybe this was it. He couldn't get attached to people because he feels like he is the one causing people to eventually disappear from this world. Like his life is useless...