empire | park sunghoon

26] Sunghoon

Sunghoon's heart was racing and he didn't know what to do. He had been so sure that he was gonna sit alone the moment Hana had walked in. And Jay was nowhere to be seen until he ran in. And when he saw both of them he felt his chest getting stabbed, twice. That moment when Hana had taken the seat, the seat that was supposed to be Jay's like always, he could've sworn he felt his heart stop.

Being able to hear her talk to him was the best thing that could've happened so far today, but hearing that she felt sick wasn't. She didn't look sick like that. She wasn't pale like looking or too tired to focus. Which only took Sunghoon's mind to another point. But he didn't wanna believe that. He felt himself always turn to her somehow, like he wanted to say something, but he didn't. Or sometimes he did. But he just wanted to start a conversation about anything. For now just getting a glance at her was enough for him if she wasn't in the mood for talking. Talking to him specifically.

"I saw Jay storm out of the principle's office" she said as she was writing something in her notebook. He felt how his breath hitched, either because she chose to talk or because Jay probably made it sound worse than it actually was. But at the same time Sunghoon also felt the guilt of not saying anything. "He told me to ask you... Because we've felt like we've lost you"

We.

That one magical word. She wasn't just talking about Jay. Somewhere in there, she still cared for him. Or maybe she never stopped, but being without her by his side right now made him feel like the worst person in the world. Because he knew it was his fault.

Before Sunghoon could answer her he was interrupted by the bell. And before he could even ask her to stay, she was already out the room. So she didn't want an answer? Everyone had slowly started to leave the room and in the corner of his eyes as he packed up his stuff, he could see Jay leave without leaving him a glance as well. Thinking about them made his heart ache, because if he didn't solve this sooner or later he could lose both of them. Two people that meant more than anything in this world to him. His mouth left a short sigh as he realised he was the only one left. Time to search up Niki then. Pulling his books to his chest his heard something slip out and fall featherlight onto the floor. Crouching down to pick it up his eyes quickly scanned the words written on there.

Meet me on the rooftop during lunch.

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The door to the rooftop made a squeaky sound when he forced it open, indicating to Hana who already sat there that he had arrived.

"Took you long enough" she was right, lunch had started but he had stood at the bottom of these stairs shaking, not knowing what to say when he arrived. And here he was, speechless.

"I'm sorry..." he said as he walked over to her.

Silence fell over the two of them, but somehow didn't feel uncomfortable. Sunghoon kept scratching his fingernail as he got more and more nervous. The silence was t helping him, he wanted to know if she was gonna end this friendship for real. At his favourite place in school. But just as he wanted to ask that question, Hana suddenly placed her head on his shoulder. Making him jump as well as his heart.

"I wasn't sick" she started. Sunghoon keeping quiet to let her say what she wants to say. "Or kind of, but not in that way I guess. I don't blame you Sunghoon. I would never do that. It's just that..." he heard how her breath hitched as she tried to swallow her tears, which only resulted in hiccups as well. "When we moved here I wanted to ignore my past. My parents separating, taking my brother away from me. I just wanted to live happily with my mom. But somehow I end up at the start again... it's just me in that house now. It's me and the silence because my mom isn't downstairs watching tv or listening to her music in the speaker. It's just me" when she said the last sentence, Sunghoon felt how Hana's energy left her body as he now leaned against him crying against his shoulder. And he was fast to hold her. Because the last thing Sunghoon wanted Hana to feel, is what he has felt and been afraid of since he was a little kid.

"You're never gonna be alone Hana. Not as long as I am here" he whispered against her head as his hand was going up and down her back, trying to make her control her breathing and calm her down. He kept thinking of something to talk about that could just make her listen, and not having her talk. Just somehow make her calm down more. "Can I tell you something Hana?" He asked her and lifted his head to indicate that he was looking at her and wanted her to look up as well.

And there they were. The most beautiful eyes Sunghoon had ever seen. She had been crying a lot but she was still pretty to him. Because nothing could make him think otherwise. Her eyes were now indicating that she was listening as well.

"You remember when we went to the mall right?" She just nodded at him and she was already smiling as the thought must've hit her head. "Since I was very young I was always afraid of bringing people into my life. And even to this day I am. Jay has always been in my life, at least that's how it feels like. He knows me better than anyone else. I have never really imagined having someone else in my life when I always had him and Niki by me. As well as my mom of course. And then you walked in" he didn't realise that he was smiling as he was telling the story. The memories of him, Jay and Niki were filling his mind. But also that day when he saw her. "When we went to the mall just you and me, I forgot about any worries I had been feeling before that. It was just you. And do you know what I realised when I dropped you off outside your door that day?" She had been listening carefully and shook her head no. Curios to what the answer would be.

"That I wanted you in my life. And that I finally knew what it was like to have feelings for someone"