Perth felt something gnawing on his inside.
He didn't know what it was or how it happened, but it was there, eating him up.
Perth kind of thought, like deep in the back of his head, that it was guilt. But if it was guilt, that meant he was feeling something, and Perth didn't want to feel.
"I'm sorry," Perth muttered to himself as laid in his bed, trying to fall asleep.
Perth usually slept from four in the morning until around ten or eleven, sometimes even noon.
But the clock was showing Perth that it was 6:46 am and he's yet to fall asleep.
Something was calling him, something deep inside, urging him to cut himself, but he couldn't go that far.
Perth would be forbidden to dance until the cuts scarred over. It already took lots of effort hiding scars him when he was sixteen. It wouldn't be good to make new slices in his skin.
Perth needed a relief.
He dialed Plan's number, knowing the lad's shift ended about thirty minutes ago and he may possibly be asleep.
"Hey, it's Plan-"
"Plan! I was wo-"
"You know what to do... Bye," the message finished, causing Perth to whine.
He dialed Bas's number now, falling back onto his bed again.
"Perth? I've got to get ready for work, what's up?"
"Oh. Nah, you can go," Perth muttered.
"Horny?" Bas asked and Perth sighed because Bas knew him so well.
"Yeah and in a bit of a catch. Want something to relieve me," Perth said, scratching his wrist out of habit.
"Sorry, mate. Did ya call Plan?"
"Yeah, didn't pick up. He's off clock-"
"Look, I've really got to go. Come see me around one? I'll be home by then."
"I'll be there," Perth said far too quickly.
They hung up and Perth was finally able to sleep.
•••
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"You."
"Hm.... You who?"
"Yoo hoo, big summer blow out!"
Bas immediately opened the door, latching himself on to Perth, laughing and crying at the same time.
Perth stumbled back, not being the most coordinated person around, but managed to hold the smaller lad close.
"Perth?"
"Yeah."
"That was so lame."
"Everyone loves Frozen," Perth chuckled, pecking Bas's lips lightly.
"I hate Frozen. And so do you."
Perth sighed, remembering the stack of Disney movies in Saint's movie rack that hung on the wall. Anyone could see all of Saint's movie and he was proud of all the Disney movies he owned.
It was rather cute. Saint was cute.
"Perth?"
"Hm?"
"Wanna come in?" Bas asked, batting his eyelashes over his pretty eyes. Kissing Bas as he pushed the boy into the apartment, kicking the door closed behind him.
It was quick and rather sloppy and Perth was a little off beside he couldn't taste the odd flavor of fresh lipstick or grip curb hips and Bas didn't have to stand on his toes on order to reach Perth's lips.
They moved to Bas's bed, Perth climbing over Bas's only slightly smaller figure, trying to push back his thoughts because Bas was always there for him.
If Perth had to give his trust to anyone, it would be Bas.
But Perth couldn't help himself.
There weren't any panties under Bas's skinnies and Bas's shirt smelled of cologne and not perfume and his lips weren't as plump and his hands were calloused from playing guitar. The blankets weren't royal purple, they were brown and the too looked like a guy's instead of a girl's and Perth found himself pulling away.
Bas started up at him, tracing a pale finger along his jaw. "Perth?"
His voice wasn't high and it wasn't ringing in Perth's ears. Perth's heart wasn't beating as fast as it usually did.
What was going on?
"Perth, what's wrong?"
"I can't," Perth breathed, pulling away.
"What? Why?" Bas asked, narrowing his eyes.
"It doesn't feel right."
"Don't play with my feelings, Perth," Bas spoke coldly.
Perth blinked, feeling guilty all of a sudden.
Fuck Saint for making him care.
Screw that.
Perth didn't care about hurting Bas's feelings. He didn't care about hurting Saint's feelings.
"Fuck it," Perth growled, bending down and kissing Bas again. He was just too hard to resist.
Besides, Perth did the punishing. And Saint couldn't do anything about it.
