That night I dreamed of what Clare blamed herself for. I saw everything. Cold and hungry Elizabeth. The fire that crackled in the night. Empty cans of food and barely any water.
Their group gone. Clare wishing she could do more. Zombies everywhere. Elizabeth dead. Her blood on Clares sword. The sharp stab in the brain. The crows. Clares regret. All of it. Then I switch dreams.
I'm in hell again. Flames everywhere. My name listed for the gates of hell. I'm there because I deserved it. I knew I was going here.
The woman. I should of helped her. Should have helped more. Should been nicer or a better friend. Should of done something.
"Welcome back. Don't you ever get tired of coming here?" Satan asks holding his pitchfork.
"Yeah. I do." I say dryly.
"Alright come on in we're playing poker." He says and motions me to sit down at this poker table. Sitting there are Hitler, a demon, and two lawyers.
"Yes!!" Hitler shouts and laughs. He collects his winnings and smirks at the rest. The lawyer grunts and frowns and takes out a cigarette and lights it. He blows the smoke in my face and laughs.
"Do you why I'm here?" He asks me.
"Probably." I say.
"Alright then tell me then." He chuggles.
" You were cruel. You wanted money. It was your only purpose. You didn't care who went to jail or not. As long you got payed you were fine. Many innocent people went to prison because of you. And many murders on the street." I say keeping my voice crisp.
"Smart one isn't she?" Satan says and smiles. Being here is suffocating. Smoke in your face. Fire everywhere. Their laughs and cruel jokes at life. The screams from the lost souls who done wrong.
"Do know what your here for?" Satan asks taking a cigarette from the lawyer.
"Yes." I say emotionless.
"Good."
"You should know. I know it eats you up like a parasite. You never be any good. You know that. Your a piece of. Shit kid." He says and coughs. He then takes a another inhale of the smoke and blows some in my face. I cough and my lungs feel like they need air.
Being here is awful. And what if do go here? It is my fault. And I'm sorry for what I done. I just keep making mistakes. Mistakes. I keep doing wrong.
It seems like I can't do anything right. That no matter what its wrong.
I need air. I need air...
