What I Am

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At some point during surgical residency, most interns get a sense of who they are as doctors, and the kind of surgeons they're going to become. If you ask them, they'll tell you. They're going to be General surgeons. Orthopedic surgeons. Neurosurgeons. Distinctions that do more than describe their areas of expertise. They help define who they are. Because outside of the operating room, not only do most surgeons have no clue of who they are, they're afraid to find out.

I did it, I finally moved out of Meredith's house. I knew things with George and I were finally going somewhere, but I needed my own space. It's really nice not having night terrors anymore. George was pretty angry about me leaving the house though, and when I got to work, he felt the need to say something about it. "Rachel!" he yells to me as I walk into the hospital.

"Hmm," I say while taking a sip of my hot coffee.

"Come on, wait up. Before you start yelling at me... you were right. I should have told you how I felt about you moving away from us. It's just... I'm not good at the whole talking about feelings things," he confesses.

"I bet you told Meredith how you felt about it though, didn't you? And Izzie? You don't seem to have any trouble talking to them about things George, but me?" I ask as I walk over to Bailey.

"I miss having you around," George says as he walks over, behind me. I can't help but smile slightly.

"No cutting. No cutting!" Cristina yells at the both of us.

"Yang you're late," Alex says.

"Hey I got here before George and Rachel did," Cristina argues.

"I was here!" George and I yell at the same time.

"Nice of you to finally join us Yang," Bailey says. Cristina rolls her eyes while Alex and I laugh.

"Oh what are you smiling about? Aren't you supposed to be on the Gynie Brigade?" Cristina asks Alex.

"Yeah, whatever," he mumbles.

"Woman troubles?" I ask Meredith as she has her hand over her stomach. She doesn't look too good.

"Men troubles actually. I think this dating two guys thing is really getting to me. The stress of it all. Finn, Derek. Derek, Finn. I think I'm getting an ulcer," Meredith says.

"McDreamy and the vet are making you sick?" I ask her.

"I just need to make a choice and get it all over with," Meredith says. We all nod our heads at her in agreement.

After talking to a patient, Meredith throws up in a trash can. I take her to get checked out and Derek follows us. "You're burning up," he tells her.

"I'm fine," she says.

"You don't look too fine right now," he argues. I hand Meredith a glass of cold water. "You look beautiful but you don't look fine," Derek says.

"Now I'm going to have to throw up," I joke. Meredith doesn't laugh, but Derek does.

"Go. You have aneurysms to clip. And surgeons to confront," Meredith says to Derek.

"You're going to be alright?" he asks her. She nods her head. "Will you look after her, please?" he asks me. I just nod my head also.

Derek leaves and Meredith pukes again, so I page Bailey to come over. "So who's the father?" I ask Meredith.

"I'm not pregnant Rachel," Meredith denies.

"You don't think you're pregnant when you're pregnant. But the fever, abdominal pain, non-stop vomiting. It all hits you at once until you realize."

Lover // g. o'malleyWhere stories live. Discover now