Reign

July - Part VIII.

 I watch from the kitchen bar stool as Trisha waddles her suitcase from her bedroom to the front door.

She huffs. “You sure you’re gonna be okay with me gone?”

“Yes, mom. I promise to brush my teeth and eat something green.”

She rolls her eyes and sits next to me. “You could come with me. My parents would love it.”

I squeeze her hand. “I promise I will be okay. Let me have the place to myself.”

“Fine. I’ll be back later this month.”

I walk her to the door. “Have fun.”

She opens the door and we’re both startled to see Bennett on the other side.

“Ben! What are you doing here?”

He looks down at Trisha’s bag. “Are you guys leaving?”

“She’s leaving.” I point at Trish. “I’m staying.”

“Oh, good. I wanted to talk to you.”

My face warms as I glance at Trisha. She smirks.

“How about you help me with my bag to my car.”

“Yeah, sure.” He grabs it and heads downstairs.

“You.” Trisha quickly points a finger at me. “You better give me ALL of the details when I get back.”

“Tris--”

“All of them.”

“Bye, Trish.”

We exchange a hug and she leaves. I rush to the bathroom to look over myself. I wasn’t expecting Bennett to come over. I literally rolled out of bed this morning in my oversized t-shirt and…

“I don’t have pants on!” I scream.

I run to my room as soon as the front door opens.

“Reign?”

“Just a minute! I'm in my room."

"Look, Reign, I--"

We bump into each other as he was trying to come into the room while I was coming out. I stumble backwards. He grabs my upper arm to keep me from falling.

"Thanks." I force out a chuckle.

"Yeah, sorry. I was trying to...I mean I wanted to talk to you."

"Okay." I take a step back. "What's up?"

"That night at the club--"

"Oh that?" I snort and smack his arm. "That's okay. We had fun. I know your friend was really into you."

He laces his fingers through mine and wraps his free arm around my waist. My skin flames up with the sudden tension.

"But she's not the one I'm into." He whispers.

"Bennett…" I breathe.

"Look, Reign, it's no secret how much I want to be with you. I really like you and I wanted to be patient while you were grieving your last relationship, but that night...I couldn't fight how I feel about you anymore."

My eyes search the sincerity in his eyes.

"I'll understand if you want to be friends. Strictly friends. I'll respect it. I'll need some time so I wouldn't overstep and push my feelings onto you, but I can't keep going around pretending that every moment I spend with you isn't one of the best moments of my life."

"Your life?" I squeak.

He laughs. "I'm confessing my feelings for you and all you hear is that?"

"No, I mean--I just…"

His hand cups my cheek. "It's a lot to take in. I'm also willing to wait for your answer, but," his thumb sweeps a fire against my bottom lip, "can I just kiss you before I go? I know that's a bit forward of me to ask, but damn, Reign. I can't think of anything I'd like more than to do that every time you look at me--"

"Bennett--"

"Or say my name."

I swallow hard and glance at his own lips.

What is happening?

My body is literally trembling and my stomach is doing flips like a circus dog.

Should I let him kiss me?

But what if...what if I don't want to be more than friends? Would letting him kiss right now make things more complicated?

Why did he decide to drop this ball on me right now when Trisha just left for the summer?

"Ray, say something."

I'm taken from my daze and realize how close we've gotten. If I tilted my head up higher, we'd definitely be kissing. I take several steps backwards. The shocking cool air brings back my rationale.

"Bennett, you just dropped a lot in my lap. I need to process." I wring my hands together.

He raises palms, trying to mask the disappointment on his face. But I see it. I feel it too.

"I know. I'm sorry. That's why I asked. I'm trying."

I offer him a smile. "And I appreciate that, but there's so many things that could go wrong with this."

"And there could be so many things that could go right. Don't let fear of being hurt stop you from experiencing happiness."

I narrow my eyes at him. "Don't. Don't do that. You know what I've been through, Bennett. You know how long it took for us to even be where we are now."

He takes a deep breath and rubs the back of his neck. "I know. I'm sorry. I just...I just want to be able to make you happy, Reign."

"And you do. But, now you want more and I don't know if I'm ready for that. If I can do that."

Silence slips in between us.

Reading his expression hurts. I can see the various emotions his thoughts bring.

"You said you'd give me some time to think about it, right?" I whisper.

He nods.

"Give me some time, okay?"

"Okay."

We walk to the door, putting more space between us than there has ever been since our friendship started. He opens the door and pauses before stepping out.

"Reign, promise me something."

"What?"

He turns to look at me. His eyes are pleading before he asks me anything. "Promise that whatever you do decide, that not being my friend isn't one of the options."

I reach out and hug him tight. "I promise."

He kisses the top of my head as he hugs me back. When we separate, he gives me a small smile and leaves. I lock the door and slide down it to the floor.

What am I gonna do?