Reign

October - Part XI.

The soft hums of the eatery play softly like a background melody along with the slightly louder music of the hustle and bustle outside of the building.

It's almost Friday. Everyone is getting ready for the weekend.

I cross my arms tightly, containing all the emotions I don't want him to see. 

Nervousness.

Hurt.

Fear.

Slight happiness.

That's the emotion I hate that I feel the most. I try to bury it deeper behind my blank gaze.

“You wanted to talk. So, talk.”

“I’m sorry.”

Hearing him apologize isn't as cathartic as I always imagined it would.

“If that’s all you have to say to me, then you’ve wasted both of our time.”

And I've avoided both Trish and Bennett to be here. I didn't tell them that I would be meeting Micah. I knew what Trish would say and Bennett…

I didn't know how to explain to him why I needed to do this. I didn't know if he could understand why I wanted to see him and find...peace?

I don't know what I wanted for the man sitting across the table from me, but I know I don't want the treacherous nostalgia I'm getting being together.

"Reign, can you please be reasonable?"

I scoff. "Reasonable?"

"Yes. You didn't let me talk that night on the beach and now, look at us!"

"So, this is my fault?"

"No. Shit, this isn't how I wanted to start things. Look, I messed up. I know this. But if I'd known how things would've ended that night, I wouldn't have tried--"

"Tried what? Not breaking up with me in person after giving me a ride there?"

"I never said I wanted to break up, Ray. I didn’t want to lose you.”

“Oh, my God. You're unbelievable." I laugh bitterly. "You didn't want to lose me? Were you thinking about losing me when you brought me to that beach that night? Were you thinking about losing me when you lied to my face every time I asked if there was something wrong with you, with us before that night?

"How about when you made me believe I was overreacting. Being paranoid." My voice gets louder. "Don't you have a girlfriend?"

"We're not together." He mumbled.

"Yeah, of course, you're not together." I laugh to myself. "How could I’ve been so blind?"

"You're blowing this into something it's not. You called me the next morning and ended things with me, Reign. You did. I just wanted a break, but you wouldn't even listen to me."

A break?

A break.

If I'd known then that before…

But…

I shake my head.

No. No, we're not gonna do this.

"So, why now? After almost a whole year, why try to rehash it now?"

"It took me so long because you have been avoiding me!"

"Lies." I hiss. "I came to this stupid cafe for weeks, hoping you'd come in. Hoping you'd try to fix things. But you didn't. Because you didn't care.