A Bite of Love

21. Spoiled Thoughts

Mu Ran kept drumming his slender fingers on the wooden surface restlessly, his mind occupied by unpleasant thoughts. Although they had been dating for fifteen days, Ou Yang still didn't take a step further, other than kissing and holding hands. They were seeing each other everyday as usual and were used to having dinner together. They also went to the cinema two times. During their time together, Ou Yang never acted cold or distant towards him, he even informed all their colleagues about their dating.

However, no matter how much Mu Ran asked, Ou Yang never came to Mu Ran's flat or he invited Mu Ran to his. Not even for coffee... At first the match-maker didn't ponder upon the matter, but as days passed and Ou Yang kept repeating the same mantra of 'next time', he became restless. One side of him tried to convince himself that it was a positive sign as it showed Ou Yang's purpose wasn't getting him into bed, but on the other side, it showed Ou Yang's reluctance to be intimate with him.

What if Ou Yang still couldn't get over the fact he was a man as well? What if he was still disgusted with the idea of having sex with a man? What if he was just experimenting with his feelings and nothing more?

Mu Ran tried to shush the bitter thoughts, but they got louder each passing day. He gave subtle clues about his insecurities, but Ou Yang seemed not to understand. Things got more tangled when Ou Yang's phone was on the table and a girl called him. With his heart in his mouth, he called out to Ou Yang who appeared with the mop in his hand. He checked the ID and ended the call without answering.

"Who is she? Why didn't you answer?" Mu Ran asked with a cracked voice. The knowledge about Ou Yang being a veteran casanova haunted him.

"I am not available," Ou Yang winked at Mu Ran and continued with his mopping.

Matching 'unavailable' with 'busy', Mu Ran felt nauseous. So, if he wasn't mopping would he take the call? And why the hell didn't he tell him who she was?!

"Ou Yang," he called out to his lover again.

"Hmm?"

"Would you like to come to my flat today? We could watch a movie," he said with expectant eyes.

"But we already have a reservation for dinner."

Mu Ran sucked in a deep breath, trying to control his tears, "why don't you want to be alone with me?" he asked directly.

"What? No!" Ou Yang shook his head vigorously, "where did this come from, Ran Ran?"

Mu Ran was agape, wasn't it obvious from where it came? He opened his mouth to snap at him, but Ou Yang's phone started ringing again. Before Ou Yang grabbed the phone, Mu Ran managed to see the ID was 'Darling'.

"I have to take this," Ou Yang went behind the counter, unaware of his shaken boyfriend.

"Darling?" Mu Ran murmured to himself, "you don't even call me that." Brimming with sadness as well as disappointment, he collected his jacket and bag and left the cafe before Ou Yang came back.

On his way, Ou Yang called him many times, but he didn't answer the phone. After the long ride, he went to the supermarket and bought a bottle of Baijiu and went to his flat to drink his sorrow away.

Without bothering to prepare something to eat or grab a glass, the sad man sat on the sofa and started to drink the alcohol directly from the orifice. Although he wouldn't admit it, he expected Ou Yang to come to his flat to check on him. However, after two hours of waiting, he gave up altogether and drank the entire bottle and fell into an uncomfortable slumber.

Half an hour later, Ou Yang had to borrow the key from Mu Ran's neighbour again as his lover didn't open the door.

"Ran Ran?" he called as he saw Mu Ran was sleeping on the sofa in an uncomfortable position and there was an empty Baijiu bottle on the floor.

The shocked lover gritted his teeth as he didn't understand what his lover was thinking in that pretty head of his. He discarded the bottle into the bin and carried his wasted lover into his bed for a better sleep. However, before he could tug him in, Mu Ran gagged and Ou Yang rushed him to the bathroom. There, the poor man threw up all the alcohol he drank and after cleaning his face, Ou Yang carried him back to his bed.

"wharre you... doinhere?" Mu Ran slurred his words in his still drunk state.

"To take care of you obviously," Ou Yang replied, irritated, "why the hell you drank that much?"

"becausee Im angryy...saddd," he confessed, rubbing his eyes. The flat was way too bright.

"Why?" the not-drunk man asked with concern.

"becaaaause you dont love meee," he said, patting his own chest.

"You are spouting nonsense," Ou Yang objected, "I love you so much," he said, holding Mu Ran's hand.

"youuu dont even... touchmee..." he said with tears in his eyes and drifted off to sleep again.

Finally, Ou Yang understood the reason behind his lover's weird behaviour. While he thought he was being considerate, Mu Ran misunderstood him and thought he didn't like him. Sighing, Ou Yang wiped the tears from his lover's close eyes.

"I swear I love you soooo much, Ran Ran, I will explain everything tomorrow."