Newtmas Oneshots

Four - I love you

Warning: none, maybe some typos (forgive me)

Thomas and Newt have been best friends for about four years now. They always hung around each other, where the one went tho other one followed. You never saw them apart and at some point their friends were sure they had a thing going on. Thomas and Newt always denied that -especially Thomas.

Sometimes he got so mad, he stormed out of the room multiple times. It hurt Newt. Not that he liked Thomas in a romantic way, but still. Why would he get so upset with their friends shipping them?

Newt tried not to think about that too much, since Thomas always came back as if nothing happened and acted like he always did. Also, towards Newt.

But lately not anymore. Thomas took his distance, for some reason and Newt didn't understand why. He asked him mutiple times, even begging Thomas to tell him what was bothering him. But Thomas wouldn't talk. He'd just look at Newt and go on with his day.

Today was no different.

"Tommy--", Newt started but immediatly broke off when he saw Thomas shut his eyes firmly and held his lips together in a straight line. "I'm sorry. Thomas, can we talk?"

Thomas opened his eyes and ignored Newt while grabbing the books he needed for his homework. It was the end of the schoolday and Newt just wanted to give it another try since he really missed his best friend.

"Thomas, talk to me", Newt said. He was starting to get angry at him. How dare he treat Newt like that after everything they've been through?

"There's nothing to say", Thomas said. He shut his locker and started to walk away. Newt followed.

"Oh, I beg to differ. Why are you being so distant? What has gotten into you, man?"

"Nothing, I just... Look", he stopped walking and turned around. For a second they stared into each others eyes. Newt frowned. "You... I can't... I can't be around you anymore, Newt. I can't."

"Why not?", Newt immediatly asked. He felt his anger bubble up again and he was afraid he wouldn't be able to keep it in. He has dealt with Thomas' bullshit long enough now. He deserved a proper explanation for his behaviour the last couple of days.

"I just can't. You're... I don't... I can't be friends with you anymore", he said. Newt opened his mouth to ask him yet again why not, but Thomas cut him off. "Don't ask. I just can't. You'll just have to accept it and find better friends than me."

"Tommy, you were the bestest friend I could've asked for. Did you really think I would just let you leave like that? Because if you did, then you must be way stupider than I thought."

Thomas didn't say anything and just stared at his best friend. The look in his eyes softened and for a second Newt thought Thomas might break and tell him everything right then and there. But he must be stupider than he thought too, because Thomas just turned around and walked away.

That made Newt really angry. Pissed even. There's no way he'd let Thomas walk out on him. He can't lose him, this boy means the world to him. Consumed by his anger he darted forward and grabbed Thomas by his shoulders from behind, turned him around and smashed him against the wall.

Thomas' eyes were wide open in shock. Did  Newt just pin him to a wall? He swallowed.

"Newt.."

"No, shut up! Why would you do this to me? Why would you just leave me like that? Huh?! Why?! Am I not good enough for you anymore? Why are you suddenly so discusted by me?", Newt started to rant, happy almost every student had already left.

"Disgusted?!", Thomas echoed in disbelief. "You think I'm--"

"What is it, Thomas? Is it my leg? My scars? Are you disgusted by them now?"

"What, no! Newt, I--"

"Why would you leave me? After everything we've been throught? I was there for you when your grandmother died. I was there for you when you needed someone to hold on to. I was there for you whenever you fucking needed me and so were you! You were there for me for everything little thing! You were always by my side, Tommy", Newt said, his voice turning down into a whisper. "What happened, Thomas? Why are you being so distant? I miss you, man."

Thomas said nothing. Newt waited for a few seconds but when it was clear that Thomas wasn't going to say anything, he let go of his shirt and looked him in the eyes one more time. Without another word, he turned around and started walking away.

He lost him. He lost his bestfriend. Newt felt his eyes sting as the thought finally settled in.

"Because I'm scared."

Newt stopped dead in his tracks and immediatly turned around again. Thomas was looking at the ground. Newt felt like he had to say something.

"Scared of what?", he carefully asked. He didn't want Thomas to shut down again.

"You." It came out as a whisper but it still felt like a slap to Newts face. He was scared of him? "Newt, the things you make me feel, I... I can't even begin to describe it. And it scares me. It scares me how much I love they way your eyes crinckle when you smile. It scares me how much I think of you and how many times I wish I could just hold your hand and... I wish I could... I just... it scares me how much time I want to spend with you and how many times you cross my mind when I'm not even doing anything that could remind me of you! You're always on my mind, Newt. Every single second of every single day.

"Ever since our friends started to openly ship us and tell us how cute and adorable we look together, I haven't been able to get the image out of my head. I imagened you and I... being in a relationship and it felt... right. It felt so right, Newt, and that scares me! It's like we're... we're meant to be. It scares me how much I love you and that's why. That's why I had to distance myself from you.

"I couldn't be near you anymore without wanting to hold your hand, kiss you and just be with you. And God, when you call me Tommy... I love it when you call me Tommy. Those moments were the hardest. You've got no idea what that nickname does to me, Newt.

"I love you. There, I said it. I love you. And I'm sorry if I hurt you, I never meant to. I just... I--"

"I get it", Newt said when he noticed that Thomas was struggling to find words. His heart was beating like he just ran a marathon. Twice.

He stared at Thomas, who was now looking back at his feet again -he was looking straight into Newts eyes the entire speech, which didn't help slow his heartbeat.

Thomas loved him. And in that moment, he realised all the things he felt for Thomas weren't normal either. He now finally understood why he felt so hurt everytime Thomas got upset when their friends were at it again.

Thomas looked up and watched Newt with hopeful eyes.

"You do?"

"Yeah, Tommy, I--"

"Don't", Thomas cut him off. "Don't call me that unless you.. unless you feel the same way about me. If you don't, I'd rather you call me Thomas."

Newt took a breath and slightly smiled, feeling his heart fill with a warm feeling. He stepped towards Thomas, stopping only a few inches away from him. He swore he could Thomas' heart stop beating.

"Tommy", he whispered. "Kiss me."

Thomas opened his mouth, but immediatly closed it again and without a second thought, he leaned in and closed the gap between them.

Thomas moaned into the kiss. He wrapped his arms around Newts waist and pulled him in closer. Newt played with Thomas' hair, tugging it every once in a while.

They kissed for a couple more moments, both knowing what the other was thinking.

This feels so right.