Newtmas Oneshots

Twelve - Newt

Warning: none

Thomas slid against the back of the stone down onto the grass. He held his knees in an embrance as he stared numbly in front of him. He couldn't grasp it. They made it to the Save Haven, but there was something missing. Or rather; someone. He refused to believe Newt was truly gone. If only Brenda-- no. Thomas stopped himself from finishing that thought. This isn't Brenda's fault. This isn't anyones fault but WICKED. They're the ones to blame.

He felt someone sit down next to him, but he didn't bother looking who it was. He didn't care. All he wanted was Newt to still be alive and here, right by Thomas' side. Never leaving. Thomas sighed and only then did he feel tears prickling in his eyes. He didn't want to let them go, because for some reason, that felt a little too real. If he was going to cry now, that'd mean he'd be mourning and he doesn't want to believe Newt's gone.

But he is. And Thomas needs to accept that.

The figure next to him sniffed and by that sound, Thomas could identify Minho. He felt his heart break even harder. Even thought Thomas had literally seen Newt die; Minho never got the chance to say goodbye to his bestfriend. He couldn't imagine what Minho was going through right now.

Another figure sat on the other side of Thomas and laid a hand on his shoulder, as if they knew how hard Thomas was fighting the tears that were threatening to fall. He tried shrugging the hand off, lost his battle with his tears mid-movement and crawled into their arms instead. He bawled his eyes out, not caring if anyone saw it.

"Shh, it's okay. Let it all out," said a soft female voice above him; Brenda. Thomas felt guilty again for his previous unfinished thoughts about her and crawled even closer. Brenda let him, knowing how much he needed someone to hold him tight.

A few minutes later, both Thomas and Minho recovered from their breakdown and the three of them sat side to side, watching the small waves of the water hitting the shore. Brenda was still seated next to Thomas, not planning to leave his side until she was sure he was truly okay.

"I never got to say goodbye." Minho broke the silence. Thomas nor Brenda responded and just let his words sink in. "He was my bestfriend for years... and I didn't even get to say goodbye."

Another beat of silence. Then Brenda was the one who broke it.

"I never really knew him all that well, but I know he meant so much to so many of you. He was always taking care of everyone. I admired that. I still do."

Silence. Thomas was staring straight ahead of him, thinking whether or not he wanted to speak the words out loud. He knew that now was the perfect opportunity to speak up about this, but something still held him back. He wanted Newt to be the first to hear these words. But that's not possible anymore.

"I never told him." Thomas held his breath. He felt tears pricking in his eyes again and for a brief moment, he wondered how it was humanly possible to have so many tears. "I never told him I loved him."

It was out. There was no going back now. Minho and Brenda were the first ones to hear those words. Thomas looked up at the sky. It was getting darker and the stars became more visible.

"I love you," he whispered to the sky. Brenda laid her head on his shoulder and Minho scooted a little closer. They weren't touching but Thomas could feel his presence and that was enough.

He closed his eyes, a single tear falling from his cheek, and relived every moment he had with his Newt.