Howl

I'm on Fire

I stared at the small white piece of paper that seemed to cover Sara’s door. I had read the four simple lines, over and over again. She was out of town for the week and probably the next week depending on how her meetings went. I don’t even know what she does for a living, but apparently it involves meetings of some sort. A hefty sigh built up in my lungs, I was wanting to exhale this weird feeling of abandonment. Like why didn’t she tell me she was leaving?

Why didn’t she tell me what she did for a living? Was she keeping secrets? Was it the whole ‘if I tell you, I’ll have to kill you.’ Type of thing?

Stepping forward, I jiggled the door handle and knocked lightly. Pressing an ear to the wood, I listened carefully for sounds from within. I’m acting as if she only put that sign up to be left alone. Did she want me to leave her alone?

Shoving off the door, I wrinkled my nose at my behavior. Of course she left, why would she go through all this trouble when she could easily tell me to leave alone?

But am I really the reason why she left or is my ego too big for me to see beyond?

Scoffing at myself, I turned away and started for the stairs. I was excited to tell her that I was hired full-time at the pharmacy and made head Technician. I basically came straight up to her apartment right after work, still in my scrubs.

The excitement that had bubbled in me when I thought about telling her had fizzled out and now made me want a drink or two. Or maybe four. Four sounds great.

Running a tired hand through my hair I slowly made my down the stairs, the elevator was out of order. I couldn’t get this embarrassment out of my system, I was so excited to share this news with Sara rather than my own girlfriend. Sara, this woman who I just barely met yet had the deepest conversation I had ever had with another person, I felt like I knew who she was before a friend recommended her place.

Digging in my pockets for my keys, I slithered my way through the few people in the hallway, and quickly opened my door and accidentally slammed it shut. “Fuck!” I slapped the wood and rested my head on it. I was buzzing with embarrassment, the heat in my face seemed to grow hotter, and I was alone.

A loud chirp sounded from my pocket, making me jump. Patting myself, I felt my phone vibrating. It was a call, “Hello?” the number was unknown but I felt I should answer it anyways.

 

“I’m sorry if I’m interrupting you, but I just wanted to apologize for leaving so suddenly. It’s Sara...by the way.” A burst of energy lit through my blood at the mention of her name and a wide grin spread across my face.

 

“Hey! Is this a new number? And no need for apologies, I didn’t even know you were gone! I just got home actually…” biting my lip, I listened to her airy laugh. Something was bubbling up inside me that caused a whirlwind of feelings to fly about in my stomach.

 

Sighing, she took a breath that stole mine, “Of course, you did. So that would mean you didn’t know that I left for business and that I won’t be back for a couple of weeks.” There was no question, but the simple statement and the tone of her voice could have brought me to my knees if I wasn’t leaning against the door for support. “But yes, this is a landline extension for me. I’m currently out of Montreal so this is the best way to get a hold of me.” I heard shuffling of paper in the background. She seemed distracted.