Howl

Confusion

Warmth was all around me, I had cocooned myself in my blankets during the night. At first all I saw was the black material of my comforter, then the sunlit wall. I rolled onto my stomach, stretching out from my curled position. The sweet release caused a small moan of pleasure to escape my lips.

 

A heavy sigh left me as I felt probing in my mind. “Get out of my head.” Although I was still waking up from my sleep, my voice held a certain authority to it. Something I had acquired from the centuries.

 

‘This is irresponsible behavior, Sara. Living with humans? You are nothing like them and they do not deserve your pity or attention. This Tegan woman should be eradicated, you know this. So do it.’ The demand struck a chord in me, it had that motherly edge that any kid hated to hear. But it also had that demeaning undertone. She felt above me, she was luna her word was also law. But for the pack I didn’t belong too.

 

I sat up so suddenly, causing the bed to slam slightly into the wall. “What kind of power do you have over me, Sonia? You let your Alpha, my father, beat me and then banish me. And for what? Saying my blood-bond was not of our people? Speaking out that our kind would be dead if not for the humans. You may be my birth mother, but that is all that you will ever be. Now, get the hell out of my head. I forbid you to ever speak to me again.” My voice took on an edge that only alphas with the birthright had. The right where their wolf also spoke within them, making the rest of the pack obey anything they demanded.

 

Pain licked at my back, my wolf pressing against my skin. Shudders skimmed across me, either from the cold air from the open window or the beast within me trying to get out.

 

All was quiet. Nothing poked around in my head, no presence but my own, just the radio playing quietly in the background and my ragged breathing. I built a wall in my mind from my mother. Slicing what was left of what I had missed the most. I always wished for her to be near, but when she was I hated it.

 

I thought about laying back down, getting a few more hours of rest. I fell face first into the soft pillows, allowing my blankets to pool around me. Snuggling into the warm fabric. I felt sleep drift slowly back to me, my bones settling against the mattress, my breath evening out.

 

And then my phone rang.

 

“God...dammit.”

 

-

 

I was typing away at my laptop, paying bills, sending emails, the whole party. I was getting annoyed at the insistent behavior of some companies, when my phone was ringing. I groaned in annoyance, if it was another salesmen I was going to freak out.

 

The number was unknown but I answered it anyways, “This is Sara.” My voice came out level and authoritative.

 

“Hey! It’s Tegan Quin,” A throaty laugh danced in to my eardrum, immediately stirring something akin to butterflies fluttering in my abdomen. I needed to calm down. “I was wondering if you were available to come help me pick up some supplies for the party tonight? Everyone else has to work and do bullshit adult things, and you popped into mind while I was...thinking. Are you-I mean I just wondering I want-shit. God, fuck. Words!” A loud laugh vibrated out of my throat, surprising me but soothing her.

 

Catching my bottom lip between my teeth, I listened to her stutter out proper invitation. “I’d love to help.” A breath caught in my throat at my words. I was willingly putting myself in her presence. I was willing to help her, be alone with her. I was risking everything I had built within myself.

 

“Awesome! Okay, is now a good time? Because I’m getting off the elevator right this second.” I heard the doors slid open, on her end and through the walls. I stood and looked frantically for my pants and socks.

 

“Yes, now is okay. The door is unlocked so let yourself in.” I quickly ended the call and continued the search for my clothes. Throwing my phone on my desk, I saw one sock under the desk and the other by the door.

 

I heard the door slam shut. “Hey, Sare? I’m here! Um...you’re not ready...and you’re half naked.” Her eyes were wide as saucers. I felt a smirk work its way onto my face as her eyes dragged down the length of my body. I could feel her heart beat go on a wild frenzy when she looked into my eyes.

 

Well there goes any plans for being cool, calm, and collected.

 

-

 

We had already got the dishware, and we were currently deciding whether or not the cheap beer was the best way to go as her funds had dwindled down to almost nothing.

 

“Well I could pay for some. I would-”Her hand brushed mine as I grabbed the cart. Her fingers curled around my wrist, pulling me slightly.

 

“I’m...really glad you could come and help me.” her lips twitched into a goofy smile, her grip tightened. She stepped closer, her shoe scuffing mine. Everything in me was on fire, burning with thirst, clenching with hunger. Her blood rushed to redden her cheeks, effectively calling out to me. I wanted to run away. I thought these feelings and emotions were gone when Stacy passed away, I didn’t want to believe that Reincarnation was real.

 

I didn’t want to believe soulmates were a true thing. This woman before me was destroying everything I stood for, with one simple grip on my wrist.

 

Although I knew I could easily break her hold, I couldn’t. I wanted her hands all over me, I wanted her lips to whisper secrets into my skin, her breath tease the beast within.

 

I wanted to make her mine and all she’s done is have simple conversations with me, and hold my wrist.

 

I was so weak, yet so strong in her presence.

 

I took a deep breath, and dared a glance in her eyes. And I saw a piece of me in them. My mouth twitched as I tried to get it to work. “It-it was my pleasure. I’m thrilled you asked me.”

 

She smiled as her fingers trailed up my arm. Our eyes locked. Then a guy rudely pushed past us, thus breaking the spell that was cast over us.

 

She pulled her hand away, and cleared her throat. “So uh..how are you single?” She turned back to the alcohol.

 

I sighed and spun her a lie. I listened to her loud laugh, watched her jump around as she cringed at prices.

 

Smiling, I tuned into her heart beat. It was a slow steady pace. It was strong and loud, like her voice. It projected onto me, making me feel better. And then I noticed a slight fluttering after each pump. It was small, almost undetectable.

She had a heart problem.