𝐆𝐨 𝐀𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝

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Anjana: Aunty... is he really..

Anjana looks at Naveen petrified.

Grace (nods): Yes, he was.

Naveen nods. Anjana looked at her in disbelief.

Grace: I'm feeling peaceful that he is not a part of me or my children's life. But whatever happened to you is really unfair...

Anjana and Naveen try to pacify Grace and themselves.

Grace (calming herself down): I'm so sorry ma, for all the trouble he caused you...

Anjana: How are you responsible for what he did Aunty... let's just forget..

Naveen: Yes ma.. let's just.. (sighs)

The three of them run out of words and stay at their respective places trying to consume whatever happened in those 15 minutes. Anjana was no more able to think of her past, she kept rewinding Grace's statement in her mind. Grace was not able to believe that her husband had gone to the extent of committing a cold-blooded murder. She kept processing the words Anjana used to describe Indhra. Naveen stood facing the wall partially unable to meet Anjana's questioning eyes and his mother's worried face.

They felt empathetic for each other but stood helpless at that moment. The candle flame continued fluctuating like their resonating minds. They could just hear the ticking sound of the clock and the pounding of their hearts. Grace goes near Anjana as Naveen turns back silently wiping his tears off his face.

Grace: Anjana..

Anjana keenly listens to her.

Grace (firmly): If this is your goal, if you want to win justice for your friend... go ahead. We will support you.

She patted Anjana's cheeks and walked into her bedroom. Anjana did not expect that from her. She was confused. Noticing Naveen standing in a dilemma to talk to her, she went towards him. But as she proceeded, the lights went off. Realising that there was a power cut, Grace called Naveen to her room. Naveen and Anjana went inside Grace's room.

Naveen: What happened ma?

Grace: I recharged that electric fan in the morning, take that to your room.

Anjana: No, its okay aunty...

Grace: No ma, the temperature is fine here, I'm comfortable. Look at this girl..

They all looked at Naveen's little sister who was sleeping comfortably snuggling into her mother's arms. Anjana smiles slightly. As they turned around to leave Anjana notices something. She grins seeing the photos on the wall. Naveen thinks of hanging a photo frame of Anjana with them on the wall soon.

Anjana: Aunty! I initially thought it was her (pointing to Naveen's sister). You look very pretty in this picture.

Grace (embarrassed): It's all his idea.

Naveen holds Anjana's hand and signals that they have to leave the room. She nods and follows him. Grace smiles seeing them leave together and looks at that picture which was taken in her 20s, on the wall opposite to the bed.

 Grace smiles seeing them leave together and looks at that picture which was taken in her 20s, on the wall opposite to the bed

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Her picture on the wall felt like an irony to all the other good moments captured having Naveen and Aadhira. Events from that phase of her life flashed in front of her eyes.

Grace was a pop-singer in her college band. Large influence by western music and admiration over India's music culture, made her style different from others. She was an achiever in academics as well which made her an icon. On her third year of college, her senior Amaran proposed her. She initially was hesitant to accept, but later got attracted to him and got into a relationship with him.

First three months into the relationship everything seemed fine but Grace noticed that there were few changes happening in her life without her consent. It did not affect her initially as she thought making a few sacrifices for the stability of her relationship wouldn't hurt. Amaran slowly started restricting her from talking to her male friends.

Grace thought of him to be just possessive and started distancing herself from her friends. At the start of fourth year, Amaran had finished his course and was looking for a job. He visited the college every single day to check on her, while she thought it was out of the love for her. Even when her friends complained about his controlling nature, Grace just brushed it off saying that he was doing that out of unconditional love.

When Grace wanted to participate in an inter-college band competition, Amaran objected as she would have to sing with a male singer. Grace pleaded to him and said that she would not talk to the guy. Amaran just walked away saying nothing. She felt discomfort in his actions for the first time. When she confided in about this to her friends, they advised her to take part as it was a rare opportunity.

She wore her favourite attire, accessories and carried all her confidence to the stage. They gave a mind-blowing performance and won everyone's hearts. Amaran watched her actions on the stage keenly, as Grace was being friendly with the male singer. When the results were announced and Grace's band was called onto stage, the guy shook her arm to get her attention and they got the first prize happily. As Grace, came smiling and laughing widely with the band members, Amaran walked away ignoring her. She went behind him tentatively, trying to get his attention to her certificate. At a point, he just snatched the certificate from her hand and threw it into the nearby drain.

Grace stood still in shock watching her certificate lose its stature in the drain water. Amaran looked at her and started apologizing to her. She moved away in silence and stopped talking to him. This depressed Amaran and he continued to blackmail her emotionally. He threatened her that he would jump from the college building if she didn't talk to him. Frightened, she agreed to talk to him and reconciled. Within two months into the final year, her parents got to know about their relationship and asked her to end it then and there. Knowing this, Amaran forced her into doing a register marriage. Opting out of college without having her degree completed, she register married him so that they don't lose each other. But marriage just worsened things for Grace.

A year later, Naveen was born and Amaran gained a job as an English Teacher in a government school. With the feeling of authority, he kept raising the bar of domestic violence towards Grace. She kept losing herself in every sacrifice she made for him. After 2 years, Aadhira was born much to the disgrace of Amaran. As years passed, hiding from him and the frequency of abuse kept increasing. If she lashed back at him, he would burn her hand. If she doesn't reply back to him, he would thrash the children to get an answer from her.

All of this existed until Amaran shoved the six-year old Aadhira when she was eating. Grace lashed out at him putting out to him her suppressed anger and sorrow. She started packing her things and took Aadhira and Naveen in her hands telling him 'I'm done'. She calmed herself for a second, and opened her bloodshot eyes firmly announcing to him that she will be sending him a divorce notice.

He yelled at her telling that she would not be able to do anything without him. She did not turn back to him and kept walking. He took a cutter from his cupboard and kept it close to his wrist. He called out to her saying that he would commit suicide if she does not come back inside his house. Unaffected, she turned back firmly and said 'Go ahead'.

He dropped his knife stunned at her reply. She left him for good. But that was just not it, he continued getting back to torture her at the market, church and every other place possible until he got arrested by the police.

The afterlife of divorce, was also not easy for Grace. She did all odd jobs to earn money to finish her course and raise her children. Even now, they are not well-off, but she can assure that she feels safe and peaceful with her son and daughter. They live a content life in their small house.

Thinking of the struggles she has surpassed, Grace unknowingly sleeps with the feeling of being empowered and with the conviction to help Anjana in her war.


TO BE CONTINUED

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