AFTER HOURS ✔

9

I slur in my sleep.

I felt something beside me. I realise that there's something wrong.

I grip onto the hand  which was grabbing my thighs harshly , imprinting nails as hard as I can.

I pant for my breath couple times and started choking on my own breath , I opened my eyes.

My breaths are short and heavy, I got anxiety.

I try to calm myself down but I could not.

The nightmare is fresh as hell in my mind.

I began to cry. I could not help it

I walk out from my apartment, picking my hoodie.

I did not bother to notice the time.

I plug in my airpods , starting to run.

I don't know if I was delusional but I felt like someone was watching me.

I just want to live without the nightmares for once.

I tried therapy, it did not work instead it caused reverse effects.

Digging the information which I wanted to be buried deep.

I am trying not to be guilty for things someone should be guilty for.

But my body was the victim but the touches of someone made me guilty.

I cry all the way as I run.The sweats trickling down.

One can never know what is happening in one's life even if they get to know they would do nothing to help but judge.

People are good at judging.

They have PHD in judging for the worst even from the bad days of someone's life.

Don't even get me started on the those things.

I feel my head dizzy I sit on the steep corner on the tip of the hill which I managed to run to.

I wish running away from my nightmares was that easy too.

I watch the view in front of me with the cold breeze wrapping my body.

The thoughts cloud in my head .

The sight in the night defines me

As much as it looks beautiful, as alluring it looks. It is dark

People should not be judged by past that's one thing I learnt the hard way.

That too specifically people who are not responsible for their own disastrous past should never be judged in the first place.

I tap my watch to check the time which says it's fifteen minutes to four.

I sigh as I stand up, I began to walk back to home.

I take slow and steady steps.

I like how I decide to shred  the stress I have in a way by straining my own body.

I pour water onto my face, as it feels cool I feel good.

As I enter my gates, I put on my mask of the perfect girl that I built.

My walls as high as castle walls.

I notice from the corner of my eyes.

Felix standing out in balcony from his room leaning on the railing in front on him.

I did not make it obvious.

I walk into my home without a noise.

Since it was Sunday today, I had a day to do my personal things.

I walk to my kitchen grabbing a lemon cutting it squeezing the life out of it, making a lemonade.

Drinking it.

I decide to clean my room first thing in the morning before I could take a shower.

I grab the dustbin filling it with my crushed paper chunks which was on my study table from last night.

I pull out the old sheets from my med and replace  it by tucking in new sheets.

I place the old sheets in the laundry basket.

I check in the washroom and grab the dirty clothes placing them in the laundry basket.

I heard the doorbell ring, I walk out to the living room to open the door.

I open to door, as it reveals Felix on the other side.

He stretches his hand which had a cyan coloured paper bag.

I scrunch my eyebrows wondering what it could be , anyways accepting it.

I see that was my shirt from the other night which I left on his sink.

The bag also had a small box of chocolates.

"Thank you but you did not have to " I say

" It's nothing " he says

" I need some help with the grocery " he continues.

Oh no

" I'll be going for grocery in sometime you can join I'll show you around " I said

The least I could do would be this.

Come on people need to help people.

" Why don't you come in?" I invite him.

He smiles as if he was waiting for this.

I open the door  wider so he could walk in.

He was in his black tee and black knee length shorts.

He followed me, and I picked the remote and switched the television on.

" Please make yourself at home " I say as he plops down the couch.

"Basketball highlights?" he asks me astonished.

" Yeah?" I say more like ask

"Girls don't even like to watch sports " he says

Hey? What?

" You've been with the wrong girls then " I say

"I'll get you some coffee " I say passing the remote to him walking to my kitchen.

It was basically an open kitchen so I could watch him from afar.

I filled in the coffee machine ready to surprise him with my expert coffee.

I watch him watch the highlights from where I left.

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