•|Chasing Universe (Completed)

Prologue

A tired sigh again escape from my lips as I only stare at his vanishing figure after he just walk passed by me with another girl clinging on his arm. He ignored me again.

"Are you okay?" Jennie ask me when she notice how my facial expressions changed. I snapped out from my thoughts and turn to her smiling yet I could say the smile I showed didn't reach my eyes.

I hummed and slowly nod my head, gathering all my things "Yeah...let's go it's already dark" I standed up as they are. I heard Jennie sigh as I was about to walk when she stopped me.

"Soo....why don't you just say to your parents your situation with him? I think it's more capable instead like this....he's treating you like he doesn't know you, he just walking pass like he didn't see you as if you don't exist.." The concern on Jennie's voice was clearly hearable.

"Jennie is right Unnie... How long would you hurt yourself?" Chaeyoung says, her question caught me. "how long Jisoo? " The question that I always ask myself.

I sigh and went back from sitting on the grass, they also did. "I don't....know.." I only muttered looking up "Maybe as long as I can?" I chuckled, unsurely.

"Unnie...." Lisa stare at me, I just let out a small smile.

"I'm okay....." I mumbled, playing with my fingers.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?" Jennie ask, she sigh "Unnie...why are you letting him to hurt you?" She added, my tears betrayed me when it started formed to my eyes.

"Because...I love him?" I answered, I narrowed my eyebrows preventing my tears to fall "I think it's a enough reason to stay...I love Taehyung" My tears fall, I felt a hand on my back, I'm crying....again.

"Is that enough to let him hurt your feelings?" Jennie ask, rubbing my back "Soo...why?" She make me face them, lifting my chin to face them, my tears continued to stream.

"As long as I love him Jen... I'm happy to see him from afar even I'm not the reason of his smile, that's love as long you can see the person you love happy....you can't do anything but to be happy too..." I wiped my tears they hugged me, I just smiled through pain.

"But atleast learn to heal yourself too from the wound he caused to you when he's happy with someone while you were crying" Lisa said "Unnie...love yourself just once.." she cares my cheeks to wipe the tears.

"I will....." I said to them, "I'll try." I whispered to myself.

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The front door of our house opened revealing him, I immediately catch him when he's about to fall.

The scent of alcohol that coming from him is clearly saying he drink, again. I just sigh and helped him to walk atleast at his room upstairs. After placing him on his bed. I could see his state, the first three bottons of his shirt was undone, he's hair is messy and I couldn't help myself but to tear up when I noticed a redmark on his neck and a stain of lipstick on his collar.

I just let my tears fall and silently cried, walking out from his room, I compose myself holding a wet towel to clean himself, holding his head his eyes met mine.

"What are you doing here?" The coldness of his voice never change when he's talking to me. I look away as I simply wiped my tears and dip the towel on the bowl of warm water.

I didn't answer him and about to wipe the part of red stain above his collar bone while his white collar has also had it. He stopped my hand by grabbing my wrist.

"I said what are you doing here?" He repeated, tightening the grip on my wrist, I sigh and take my hand back from his grip. He coldly stare at me but it didn't bother me and wiped his face.

I could feel his stare on me while I'm focus on my doings. My hand went down to his collar from his neck where the red mark is, I averted my gaze and about to wipe his collar bone to remove the red lipstick stain on it, when he again stopped my hand.

"Leave...." He said staring to my eyes but I just shook my head.

"Just let me....clean it for you" I didn't care if my tears fall, I just desperately wiped the red stain on his collar hating the fact that he slept again with another girl, he look at the part where I was wiping and I could see the guilt from his eyes.

"Why are you doing this?" He ask, I bit my lower lip preventing myself to sob as I continue to wipe the stain on his chest.

"Because I love you..." I muttered those word without looking at him, I stopped when he satted up on his bed.

"But you know that I hate you" he said those words without any emotion, my heart clenched as another tears fall from my eyes.

"Yet I still love you" I chuckled to hide the pain "And it will never change and disappear, Tae" I said to him, wiping my tears. He just stare at me without saying anything.

"How long you gonna hurt yourself because of me?" He broke the silence with his naturally cold voice, without any emotion on his eyes, "I don't love you, isn't it clear to you?" He's voice risen making me taken a back, he's hurting my feelings again.

"Then you shouldn't have come in my life if you don't have any plan to stay, Tae you teach me how to love again and helped me to be fix when I was broke....just to broke myself into a pieces again...and again, it's unfair......I wish I can also ignore you the way you ignore me" I blurted out I can't contain my emotions anymore, he just stare at me.

I sobbed infront of him, clasping my hand "But I can't Taehyung because I love you...." I cried "I love you and I always will..." I added "So please stop...pushing me away" I said to him, I didn't wait for his reaction and gather up myself as I stood up, I pick up the towel and bowl.

"Rest yourself we still have classes tommorow" I manage to say those words and left his room, after placing back the things I was holding on the sink I went up to my room.

My feet felt weak through emotions as I broke down on my knees after I close the door of my room, covering my mouth to prevent any sound from my cryings.

I hate you--

His words keep repeating on my mind it's like a dagger on my heart, he never fail to hurt me and my feelings yet I'm still here staying hoping he could love me back.

But sometimes I can't hold myself to ask Do I deserve this kind of pain? How long I would endure it? My gaze turn to the side table of my bed where the brown envelope is, containing the divorce paper which he already signed. Why I can't let you go?

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