𝘙𝘦𝘥𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘺

Chapter 23

Song Recommendations

I Cant Handle Change - Roar
Vacant In The 21st Century - Matt Maltese
Francis Forever - Mitski
Afraid - The Neighborhood

———

-Katsuki's POV-

If murder was legal, I'd have killed her by now.

The way she sits there with those stupid fucking earbuds in her ear and won't look anyone in the eye... she thinks we can't tell she's not listening to anything. The way she fucking sits there and writes random answers on her homework like we can't tell she's just trying to look busy.

She makes me sick. Her fucking face makes me sick.

But worst of all? I feel like I'm starting to forget what she looks like.

She won't look at me. She won't fucking look at me.

I feel like some stupid ass little kid in time-out for lying about his bedtime. I hate her. I hate her.

I don't hate her.

I say I do, but I can't hate her. Trust me, I've tried.

And as she sits there on the couch beside Deku with her face buried in some old ratty-ass book, I wanna blow her face off. Why does she have to be so different? Can't she just watch the movie like the rest of us? And why isn't everyone else wondering the same thing as me?

"Bakugo, hey. C'mon man, you could cook dinner with the steam rolling off you." I turned, finding Kirishima watching me with some toothy grin and a curious look.

"Yeah, what's gotten into you man?" Denki whispered.

"Can't you tell? He's homesick." Sero teased. "His best friends moved on without him. We're second best, remember?" He poked Kirishima, earning an eye roll and a harsh scowl before they turned their attention back to me.

The room is dark so it won't obscure the scene on the tv. This is great and all, but the movie is still unenjoyable if round face can't keep the damn popcorn out of her loud ass mouth. Despite the movie being action-packed and full of fighting, I turn my attention to them and stare blankly.

Try to explain it to them, my head screams. Try.

"Shut up and watch the damn movie," I huffed. I set my chin on my hand, fuming in anger as I tried to shove Kirishima's face away with my hand.

Deku is the one to catch me staring, not her. He whispers something to her softly and he looks back at me with a pitiful look on his face. I could kill him for that. I could.

But then she looks up at me and I can see the way she looks at me. Like I'm one of these extras. I'm nothing to her. I've lost my friend and I can't even get her to give me a second of her time.

My head reels, a million different voices screaming at me from a million different angles.

It's all your fault, they scream.
You lost the only people who'll listen.
Screw them.
You don't need them.
You fucked up.
You're fine. Quit fucking crying. It's annoying.
It's okay to cry.

But the loudest of them all, I hear my mother's voice.

Your quirk is made to blow up villains, not your relationships.

Deku cocks his head at me and I nearly scream at him to tell me how to fix everything. I wanna ask why she forgave him, not me. I wanna ask why he's so hard to be friends with and I wanna ask why everything had to change.