Broken Wings- Haikyuu! X Male OC

A/N

CLEARLY THE LAST CHAPTER HAS GOTTEN YOU ALL MESSED UP CAUSE DAMN THE MESSAGES I GOT-

ANYWAYS. QUICK EXPLANATION, CAUSE I DON'T WANT THE WRONG VIBES FROM OUR SHIRO BABEY, PLUS, Y'ALL ARE CONFUSED AF. 

okay. so. part of this chapter sheds some light onto what happened with shiro, and the next will be a full deep dive into his past.

(About time too, this is like the nth chapter, and the rest were just full of me bullshitting around)

The darkness in that hallway and his anxiousness from being lost start up Shiro's mind as he starts questioning why someone like him is happy, because he shouldn't be after what happened.

The fire alarm that went off triggered Shiro's panic attack. He has PTSD, dudes. Bish lost a whole ass leg to an event nobody deserves to deal with. Ofc he has it.

n e ways, Shiro's losing it, unwillingly revisiting his memories of a fire and when someone grabs him ( later revealed that someone was pretty setter Akaashi), the extra body heat is enough to unnerve him even more. he thinkin heat= fire

Note that Shiro never calmed down. Shiro never saw Akaashi's face. He didn't know who grabbed him. It's still dark.

And the alarm is still ringing in his head.

Shiro's not doing any good. He's in a terrible headspace. He's stuck in the memory.

And when Akaashi tightens his hold, it's enough to trigger Shiro again.

( When somebody is having a panic, drifting through a traumatic event where brute force was used against him  by another person

y o u   d o n ' t   j u s t   g r a b   t h e m   w i t h   f o r c e . N O  M A T T E R  H O W  G E N T L Y  Y O U 'R E  A P P L Y I NG  I T .

for all they know, you're  the attacker.)

And then comes the line that caused some of y'all to come bustin down my inbox.  ( iT wAs aKaAsHi KEiJi'S bLoOd)

My guy. Shiro's defense mechanism is on full gear.  Not to mention, this soft boyo literally slams volleyballs into courts with such force Oikawa secretly pissed himself. The volleyballs  l i t e r a l l y  deflate and ricochet off walls and ceilings. If Shiro's spike hit Kags in the back of the head instead of the tangerine's spike, our milk boy would have a split skull.

Of course his punches are gonna be beyond brutal.

Akaashi didn't piss Shiro off.  Akaashi didn't do anything to deserve that, as one of you asked. The only thing he did was grab Shiro in such a state.

Shiro didn't attack Akaashi. Shiro attacked the entity.  He attacked that entity, to prove that taunting voice in his head wrong.

Shiro attacked his presumed attacker. Shiro attacked the person who had touched him- ( remember, that the touch of Akaashi sent him spiraling )- while he was struggling with his PTSD. 

Outbursts are common in PTSD. Violence is common too. It's a terrible thing to suffer from. It's not that Hollywood "oh look a mirror, let me grab the side of my face and suddenly be teleported into my traumatic memory and watch my third wife of mine die and then let's punch the mirror and watch my blood from my knuckles poetically drip into that stupid drain." It's more.

It's that second of silence when someone's talking. It's that chilly feeling that someone gets. It's that voice they hear in the back of their head. It's that constant feeling of being not enough, of being undeserving. It's that survivor's guilt. It's so much, so diverse. It varies from person to person.

It's so complex. I can't even hope to capture it in my writing, but I'll try my best. 

anyways, backstory comes next chapter-ish. 

Plus, to y'all that know me from my other fics, and know how I kill off characters like it's nothing, just know that no canon Haikyuu character, nor does Shiro/his mom/ his dad, dies.

This is supposed to be the fluffy, cheery, chaotic, absolutely insane, TOBE FLYYYYY~ uwu book with Shiro's self discovery and recovery from his trauma through the love of Karasuno/ the other teams. Note, I said recovery, not "miracle" . He might have relapses. That's just life.

Im just trying my hand at showing my readers that you can be broken, mentally or physically or emotionally or all of them in varying degrees, but find ways to pull through if you find the right people. Find your Karasuno.

 Ofc, i'd pull through my own dark times faster if I myself knew Haikyuu existed, but hey. Now I do. And now I'm here, grumbling like a grumpy little hermit writing my own fanfiction after nothing I found was completely up to the expectation I had in my head/ after I read through most of the good ones / after being sick and tired of the unrealistically OP, happy go lucky, sweetie pie OCs that everyone wants to bang. 

( I'm not saying that Shiro doesn't have a harem going on - cause he does- but Shiro is flawed. Physically, mentally.  

Shiro is struggling. He's more human than those "oh wow, he's got a 5000mph triple backflip karate punch superstar spike!" characters, or those " oh, I've watched five of my adoptive families die at my hands, a grizzly bear ripped apart my best friend, a martian crash-landed into my aunt's house and kidnapped my cousin and sliced both their heads off with a fingernail, and oh, I died twice, I got shot, I had to murder a man with my bare hands, I've been run over by a seventeen wheeler truck and been blown up fifteen times but hey im still mentally stable expect for my on-cue outbursts and my hard to get attitude and no i dont go to therapy" characters with which I am so fREAKING DONE WITH-)

can you feel my  saltiness? Tsukki would be proud...

 But hey. I'm here, I'm writing for now, I'm making a lil escape for you from reality. That's what fanfic writers are for. ( other than bringing d i s h o n o r  and s h a m e on my ancestors. lord knows how much they despise me.)

Btw I'm not  killing our pretty setter. Y'all would have my head on a stake if I did.

Love you guys, hope this helped!

Stay Tuned, Mikio will stab you in your sleep if you don't.

Jumpy, out.