XVI

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Eʙᴜʟʟɪᴇɴᴄᴇ (N) -Bᴜʙʙʟɪɴɢ ᴇɴᴛʜᴜsɪs

Triggers:
-eating disorder

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"So when did you get your ears pierced?"
Clay and Ava were strolling around the park, past couples having picnics and kids running around screaming.

Clay laughed, "Well technically in grade 7, but my parents didn't know about it until I got home with holes in my earlobes, and they made me take them out. They healed over, and then I got them re-pierced a few years ago. I was what, 16? Yeah. 16, grade 11. Since when did you have so many piercings?"

Ava laughed.
"I got my first piercings when I was like 7, and I kinda just kept getting piercings when I was a teenager. So I've had all these for forever, but I guess I don't really wear them all that often."

They walked in comfortable silence through the park, Clay somewhere along the way slipping his hand in her's.

"We're here," Clay smiled.
Ava and Clay walked into the restaurant, and pulled their hands apart.
They got seated by the host, and sat, looking at the menu.

Ava was stressing on what to pick, settling on grilled cheese.
They weren't at a fast food place, but it also wasn't a fancy enough restaurant that getting grilled cheese would seem odd.

"Watcha gonna get?" Clay questioned.

"Grilled cheese, how about you?"
"I think penne a la vodka."

"K it's 5 o'clock somewhere I guess," Ava laughed.

"What the fuck, jesus your tolerance must be fucking low to get drunk off of pasta."

Ava had to work hard to not laugh.

As if on cue, the server came over to take their orders.

When the server was out of earshot, Ava leaned forward across the table, "Oh my fucking god imagine if she came to our table while I said that. I would die. I'd never show my face on the internet again. I'd go incognito. I'd make a new identity. And move to Russia. And I'm bringing your sister and your cat. And Nick."

"You're bringing my sister, my cat, my Nicky wicky poo bear, but not me? I wanna go to Russia too. I heard they're freaky there."

"I'm not bringing you."
"Whyyyy," Clay pouted in fake heartbreak.

"Because you'd try to hook up with some blonde model lady and I would have to be the one to make sure you wear protection and don't give some poor single mom an std."

"I DON'T HAVE STDS WHAT THE HELL," Clay exclaimed, a little too loud.

Ava felt her cheeks turn pink as everyone in the restaurant looked at them in disapproval.

"You're gonna get us kicked out, asshole. How did this date turn into this," Ava laughed. She realized too late what she said.

Clay blushed, but didn't say anything.

She was grateful for that, she didn't need another awkward situation right now.


Finally, the food came. Ava was dreading this moment since she saw the text from Clay. She had tried to convince herself that she could eat at least one regular meal. She really thought she could do it. But now, with the food in front of her, she knew she couldn't. Honestly she couldn't figure out why she couldn't eat. She just couldn't. It was like her body rejected it.

"This is fucking amazing," Clay remarked, with a mouth full.

Ava hadn't even realized how long she was staring at her plate until she looked up and saw that Clay was almost done. Luckily though, he was too caught up in his own order that he didn't even notice that her grilled cheese was still untouched.

She excused herself to the bathroom, and locked herself in a stall. It took all her strength to not break down right then and there.

She felt so pathetic.

Pathetic because she couldn't even look at bread and fucking cheese without wanting to cry, pathetic because she was ruining what was supposed to be a fun night out, pathetic because her whole stability was teetering on eating.

She managed to not cry, and went back out, promising herself to eat. She couldn't let him figure out what was going on.

And she stood by that promise.

Though in each bite her stomach and head hurt with guilt, though she knew she would regret this later, though she didn't enjoy any part of eating.

Clay was talking to her the whole meal. She was aware of what he was saying, and she was responding, but she wasn't quite processing the information. She was focusing on finishing the sandwich. When they were both done, Clay somehow convinced her to let him pay the bill.

"I was the one to ask you to come do this with me," he stated.
"Well I was the one to choose the restaurant, therefore I pay."
"Wrong."
"Well-"

This went on for about 5 minutes before Clay finally said he would let her pick where to go next if she let him pay. She agreed, but promised to pay next time, to which Clay hummed absently in response.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Ava directed him down some streets, some of which Clay recognized, but most not, since he didn't live in the same area as her.
While they were walking, Clay had to duck into the grocery store to grab some cat food for Patches. Ava stayed outside, she didn't like grocery stores. She didn't know why, but she had absolutely hated them since she could remember.

She noticed that she had a missed call from her mom, so she walked over to a more secluded spot against a wall by some trash cans, and called her back.

It was a useless phone call, just 10 seconds of
"How are you?"
"I'm okay."
"Okay good."
"Im sorry mom, I'd love to talk but I'm kind of busy right now.
"Alright, bye! I love you."
"Love you too mama."

She scrolled through twitter a bit, waiting for Clay to return from his cat-food-buying journey. She got interrupted though, as she heard a vaguely familiar voice.

"I'm fine dad, yes. I'm just walking downtown. Alright. Okay. Goodnight. Love you."

Ava looked up, and froze.

It was him.

Fuck.

An:
Word count: 1094

Ayo who do y'all think it is⁉️⁉️⁉️
Also thanks for 30k reads i feel rly cool😍🤞😋

I changed the description, the title a bit, and the cover. I think it looks better now so yeah :)

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