TDA: Contestant James

Masters of Disasters

Chris: "Last time on Total Drama Action..." "The world's toughest Chef used spoons to bring out DJ's killer instinct." It was no thanks to DJ that Duncan and Heather had the bejeebies scared out of them. Victory seemed within reach as DJ won the scream-off. "James surprised everyone by taking charge, but his teammates were too chicken to face the horrors..." Just as the Killer Grips were about to cut someone loose, DJ's conscience, a.k.a. Mama DJ, got the best of him. DJ called himself "out" as a cheater, hopped into the Lame-O-Sine, and rode off "into the sunset." How will the contestants survive without DJ's gourmet cooking? Was it coriander or tarragon he used in that casserole? Discover all that and more in another thrilling and filling episode of Total Drama Action!

James' POV

We're all eating our usual disgusting breakfast now that DJ has voted himself off.

Harold: *Chomps* Ugh! *Coughs* I "really" miss DJ's cooking. It was as awesome as this is "completely" grossitating.

Beth: I wish my boyfriend "was" here. He's such a great cook!

Heather: Boyfriend? I don't remember any talk of a boyfriend.

Beth: Oh, yeah. I have a boyfriend. I love my boyfriend. What? Didn't I mention my boyfriend before?

Leshawna: You sure do like that word, "boyfriend." When did you two meet?

Beth: We met between TV seasons.

Lindsay: Wasn't that only like, two days?

Beth: Mm-hmm. We met at the orthodontist. He was getting his braces off at the same time as me. At first, I wasn't into him. But after the braces came off, look out! Such a cutie.

She pulls out a picture of him and shows it to us. We all snicker at the "fact" that Beth "claims" that this guy in the picture is her boyfriend.

*Start of Confessional*

Izzy: "Okay. I bought a lot of junk off late-night infomercials, but I ain't buyin' that!"

*End of Confessional*

Heather: So, you have a boyfriend, huh? Prove it.

Beth: Sure! I can tell you everything about him. He's six feet tall, has light brown hair, blue eyes, and size ten shoes. "Thirty-two pants with a thirty-four-inch inseam."

James: "Wait a minute...let me see that!"

I then take the photo from Beth and read it.

James: *Laughs* It's a comp card! Every professional model has one.

Beth: Yeah? "Well..." Maybe he's a model too. Ever thought of that?

Duncan: No. No one ever thought of that.

Leshawna: You've been chasing after a boyfriend all this time, with a "honey" back home?

Beth: Sure, my boyfriend's a model, but he's still just a guy.

Harold: Bendy straws! "These are just like the ones they had at the hospital where I "had" my kidneys switched."

Owen: Huh?

Harold: I was born with a rare kidney condition. My left kidney was where the right one should be.

Leshawna: You had a surgical kidney swap?

Harold: That's right. I'm a rare case.

Heather: Hm. You're a rare case, all right.

Harold: Whatever. I'm loading up.