𝕂𝕒𝕣𝕞𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕤𝕒 𝕆𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕙𝕠𝕥𝕤

Your smile (Makes My Heart Skips A Beat)

(Takes place in their second year)

At first, you don't know what it is.

Maybe it's the way he touches you, or the way he talks to you. Maybe it's the way he looks at you, like you're the only person in the world that matters. Like he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.

You've never been looked at that way before.

"Karma-kun?"

Shiota Nagisa looks back at you, smiling, and you feel your palms start to sweat. He doesn't look bothered, despite the fact that you've spaced out for the nth time during your conversation.

"Yes," you answer, startled. "Sorry. I was just thinking."

"That's okay," Nagisa replies. He beams at you, and you can practically hear your heartbeat, that's how goddamn loud it is. "I do that a lot. Sometimes I just can't help it, and - " he makes a vague gesture with his hands, " - I'm just gone, you know? Completely spaced out."

You can't help but smile. "Yeah. That's it."

There's just something about Nagisa that makes you want to open up to him. You want to show him everything, even the ugly parts. You want to show him the things that you've long since buried inside.

You just don't know how far you're willing to go for him. Frankly, it scares you.

"You're doing it again." Nagisa's voice cuts through your thoughts. He doesn't sound annoyed, just amused. "Something on your mind?"

You're always on my mind.

Like you'd ever say that out loud. "Sorry, I'm just tired."

Nagisa squints at you, blue eyes narrowed, as if he's trying to discern the truth. He knows you're lying; of course he knows you're lying. He's spent enough time with you to know the ins and outs of your personality. You even told him about your family.

(In hindsight, that was pretty fucking dumb, but you don't regret it. Not one bit. Isn't that strange?)

If anyone deserves to know about my family , it's him. You trust him enough to keep your secrets.

There's just something about him.

"Karma-kun..."

Shit, you're doing it again.

Nagisa smiles ruefully. "Sorry, I get the feeling that you need some space. Remember, I'm always here if you need someone to talk to."

He stands up. After a quiet 'excuse me,' he's gone.

Don't go.

-----------------------------------------------------

The next day, when you're talking to Nagisa, you realize something.

Why you're so ready to open up to him. Why you're more honest with him than you've ever been to your own family. Why your heart beats so fucking fast whenever you're near him.

He makes you feel safe.

When you're with Nagisa, you feel wanted.

Maybe your life has been so devoid of love ever since you were a child that you can't recognize it even when it's staring you in the face.

So you'd never experienced love before. It doesn't matter. You can start now.

You can start here, with Nagisa. You can start with his smile, his laugh, the way his cheeks turn pink and his eyes light up whenever he sees you.

Thanks to him, you know what it's like to be loved.

And as for your heartbeat, and the reason why it goes off every time he gets close to you. The reason why you feel your palms sweat and your face heat up, just like his, whenever you glance at him.

(At first, you don't know what it is.

Maybe it's the way he touches you, or the way he talks to you. Maybe it's the way he looks at you, like you're the only person in the world that matters. Like he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.

You've never been looked at that way before.)

Thanks to Nagisa, you know what it's like to love someone.