GIRLS / ONESHOTS

she doesnt love you - yves x chuu

request: @orbitwithinsomnia

She doesn't love you.

Not like that.

Not the way you love her.

Sooyoung knows, because she's not stupid. She and Jiwoo have been friends forever, she knows Jiwoo's quirks and little things about her that no one else would remember. Her photo roll is full of barefaced Jiwoo from their sleepovers, singing and dancing, happy and laughing.

Maybe she should've known sooner, that she wasn't supposed to fall quite this hard. She wasn't supposed to look for Jiwoo in every room, she wasn't supposed to crave her presence the way she did. Best friends don't get nervous when they hold hands, they don't get jealous of people who look in Jiwoo's direction.

She still did though. It took Sooyoung longer to realize than it should have. When Jiwoo was happy, Sooyoung felt an inexplicable sense of satisfaction. She was the one to make Jiwoo happy. It was easy, sometimes, being Jiwoo's friend, because Jiwoo only saw her. Only loved her. Even if it wasn't the same way, it was enough.

It was enough until it wasn't.

She doesn't love you.

Sooyoung repeats it to herself over and over. She needs it to stick in her brain so she doesn't break her own heart. She seems to forget that cold hard fact when Jiwoo compliments her, or hugs her too tightly. It's a fact that seems to fade away into the background of their relationship until it feels like a cold hard slap across the face. And it's Sooyoung's own fault.

They're sitting side by side, Jiwoo and Sooyoung. Jiwoo has Sooyoung's phone in her hands, and they're giggling about something so stupid that Sooyoung doesn't even remember why it's funny.

"You...really like Sunmi," Jiwoo commented a few seconds later. They're looking at her TikTok account, and of course, another edit of the other love of Sooyoung's life pops up.

"She's the hottest person on the planet, my for you page knows me well," Sooyoung shrugged.

"She is really attractive," Jiwoo agreed. "I'd die for her,"

"No, I want to die for her," Sooyoung gasped. "No fair, I liked her first,"

"We both can die for her," Jiwoo promised.

"Equality," Sooyoung mused.

"You know, you kind of look like her," Jiwoo commented, then went back to the phone.

Sooyoung's mind went blank.

You know, you kind of look like her.
She is really attractive.
You know, you kind of look like her.
She is really attractive.
You know, you kind of look like her.
She is really attractive.
You know, you kind of look like her.
She is really attractive.

Sooyoung wanted to scream. Because Jiwoo doesn't mean it like that. She calls Sooyoung attractive but that doesn't mean what Sooyoung wants it to. To her it's meaningless, she'll forget it immediately, unaware of how Sooyoung's brain will replay her words when she can't sleep.

"Heh," Sooyoung swallowed thickly, laughing to try and dispel her one-sided tension. Jiwoo doesn't even seem to notice, because to her it's nothing. They're friends, painfully close in a way that makes Sooyoung happy but is also just so painful. The line between everything she wants and where she is to almost teasingly small.

She doesn't ever truly forget it. Maybe for a fleeting moment, it slips her mind that she's been in love with her best friend for years, but it doesn't go away.

"Haseul's like, really pretty," Jiwoo said one day. They were sitting in the library doing homework when Jiwoo had randomly looked up from her laptop. "I can't decide if I want to be her or...something else,"