GIRLS / ONESHOTS

bad dream - elly x rina

"Shhh, it's just a nightmare,"
Haerim gasped as she felt her eyes shoot open, taking in the pitch black of her bedroom. Her heart was beating loudly in her ears and her body trembled in fear. A thin layer of sweat covered her forehead and she touched her throat, struggling for breath. Not enough time, not enough-
"Haerim," A gentle voice by her ear. The light by her bed was turned on. "Shhh, breathe. Please,"
She relaxed as she felt so soft arms of her girlfriend cradling her head. Her body was hot to the touch, but Rina's hands were cool and gentle. Rina whispered sweet nothings in her ear as Haerim's tears slowly dried up. Her crying reduced to only a quiet whimper as Rina calmed her nerves.
"I'm here, okay? I won't let anything hurt you," Rina murmured into her ear. "Was it the same one?"
Haerim felt her lip tremble and nodded silently. A few tears trickled down her cheek that Rina carefully wiped away.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Haerim smiled sorrowfully. "You shouldn't bother to worry,"
Rina sighed and played with her girlfriend's hair. Her eyes were patient and kind. "I'll always worry about you,"
"I'm sorry," Haerim whispered, apologetically pecking her shoulder as Rina played with her hair. "I'm so sorry,"
She could feel Rina tense. "Baby, talk to me. Please,"
Haerim kissed her lips this time, almost as if she was begging time to stop. Rina touched her face gently, pushing her away. She turned and turned off the light.
How many more nights will I have with her like this?
Haerim pushed that thought to the back of her head, wincing. Rina hugged her again, gently tracing Haerim's back with her fingers, until Haerim fell back into a dreamless sleep.

⊱✿⊰

"I don't know what's wrong, okay? I'm just...tired. I need to sleep," Haerim shrugged off the younger girl's affectionate gestures.
Rina frowned. What was making Haerim so upset she couldn't even tell her girlfriend? Why was she keeping something from her? It wasn't like Haerim was a good liar, Rina could see right through her excuses.
"I'm just tired."
"I've had a bad day,"
"I didn't get enough sleep last night, that's all,"
Haerim had become distant and cold the past few months, ignoring Rina and nearly avoiding her. She'd give Rina a blank stare in place of a place, stay in when Rina went out. This was more than a simple bad day. It was more than a low period. Something had completely switched in Haerim, and she refused to tell Rina what.
Rina didn't want to give up on Haerim, but she missed the girl she used to know. The girlfriend she could depend on, someone who could comfort and protect her. Haerim seemed like a shell of her former self. Uncaring and unfeeling, distant and always in her head.
It was only in the dead of night when Haerim would wake up in tears, frightened and lonely, when she would run into Rina's arms and allow herself to be comforted. They would cuddle until Haerim finally fell asleep, but in the morning it would be the same as all the days before.
That was why Rina didn't give up. She could see Haerim's true self just below the surface. She would allow Haerim to come to her in her own time.
She knew the girl still loved her. She could feel it when Haerim would whisper sweet things into her ear when Rina was holding her. She didn't want to give up on that person, she couldn't.
"Okay, I love you," Rina called as the girl went into their bedroom.
No answer.
Rina pouted to no one and went back to the kitchen, ready to prepare dinner. She tried to take her mind off of Haerim with her food, humming to herself and focusing on her cooking.
Rina looked up from her work when she heard a phone ring. Haerim had left her phone on the dining table.
She picked it up hesitantly, not recognizing the number on the screen.
"Hello?" She asked into the phone.
"Hello, is this Jung Hae-Rim?" Asked an older female voice.
"No this is her girlfriend, who is this?"
"This is her doctor's office, we called to follow up on her test results,"
Rina's brow furrowed. "Um, ok, she's sleeping right now, can I take a message?"
"Ok miss, could you tell her to call us back as soon as she can? It's urgent,"
"Y-yes I can," Rina felt panic growing in her chest. What was urgent?
"Thank you miss, have a good day," The receptionist, Rina presumed, hung up, leaving Rina with questions.
Rina abandoned the food on the counter and made her way to their bedroom, phone still in hand.
"Haerim, the doctor called,"
Haerim shot up, drowsiness disappearing as she glanced nervously at her girlfriend. "What did he say?"
Rina frowned. "He didn't say much, just that you should call him back because it's urgent,"
Haerim nodded, seemingly lost in thought.
"Haerim, what kind of tests have you been having done?"
The older girl turned away from her, and Rina couldn't see the expression of fear on her face.
"Just standard testing," She mumbled half-heartedly.
"Haerim, you can tell me," Rina felt a lump in her throat.
Haerim shook her head. "Not until I know the results. Can I have my phone?" She reached out her hand.
Rina handed it to her, a look of nervousness still on her face. She went back to the kitchen, but she couldn't seem to finish the job. What test was being done that made Haerim so on edge?
It didn't take long for Haerim to come back into the kitchen. This time her face looked absolutely defeated and like all will to live had left her.
"What did they say?" Rina asked slowly. She noticed how Haerim's face looked like she was in pain.
"They said...I tested positive," She whispered.
Rina cocked her head. "For what?"
Haerim took a shaky breath, and her heart looked like it might break in two.
"Cancer. In my brain,"
Rina pushed down the lump in her throat and shook her head. "No, it must be wrong,"
Haerim's eyes were red again and she smiled at Rina. "They're never wrong."
Rina felt her mind slowly unravel, processing the information. "No," She almost laughed, shock making her breath quicken. "This isn't...this isn't real, not for you, for us..."
"Rina..."
"NO!" Rina's cheeks were hot with tears. "NO!"
Haerim's face held a sad smile as tears streamed down her pale face. She made her way towards Rina, her arms outstretched and calling the younger girl.
Rina ran into them thankfully, wailing pathetically against Haerim's chest.
She couldn't imagine it. A life without Haerim, her first love. They'd met in high school, they'd dated all through college. Haerim had been Rina's first everying, and they were so undeniably in love. How was Rina supposed to love without hearing Haerim's laugh, without her hand to hold? Who would she have to love? How was she supposed to hold on, start over without her favorite person in the world?
Poor Haerim. It explained everything, why Haerim had been so distant, why she hadn't shared any of her problems with Rina. Neither of them wanted it to be real. It still didn't feel real.
"I know," Haerim sniffled, holding back on her crying for Rina's sake. "I'm gonna miss you,"
"Don't say that!" Rina practically yelled. Her voice cracked as she felt the familiar soreness in her throat when she cried. "You'll survive,"
Haerim shook her head. "No, I won't," She followed Rina as the younger girl fell to the floor. She wrapped her arms tighter around the crying girl. "They say I have only a few months left to live, and I don't want to waste them. Let's have fun with what we have left. I already tried being distant, but I couldn't break up with you. You stayed with me,"
Rina cried heavily as Haerim continued talking. She held onto Haerim's shirt desperately, afraid she'd disappear right before her eyes.
"I want to have fun with you, that's my final wish,"

⊱✿⊰

"Thank you, Rina, for being the best thing that ever happened to me," Haerim said hoarsely. Rina smiled at Haerim weakly. It hurt her, to see Haerim so weak, attached to dozens of chords and tubes. She looked sickly, but she was still the prettiest girl Rina had ever seen. They had spent the last few months of their relationship simply spending time together, and it had been the best time in Rina's life. She tried not to be sad in Haerim's final hours. She tried to take in everything, making sure she would never forget it.
Both their families were in the room with her, standing on the edges as Rina sat in the middle, holding Haerim's hand. Rina could hear them sniffling quietly and held onto Haerim's hand tighter.
"Rina, I wanted to tell you something, before I...go. I need you to be happy without me," Rina tensed as Haerim continued. "Find another girl who makes you as happy as you've made me. You can't be sad for too long? I need you to live, for me, ok?"
Haerim's words felt oddly comforting, and Rina hated it. "I'll never find someone who I love as much as you,"
Haerim grinned her signature smile, and Rina felt like her heart might burst. "Yes you will. Promise me?"
"But-"
"Promise me, Rina, so I can go in peace,"
"...I promise,"
It was like Haerim's final purpose had been fulfilled. She relaxed onto the bed, a smile on her face. She closed her eyes and Rina felt the same sickening feeling as when she heard the news the first time. She could feel her life slipping away, she could feel the world becoming darker without the light of her life.
 "Wait, Haerim, I'm not ready yet, you need to come back to me, okay? Haerim. Haerim?" Rina asked, her voice cracking from her emotions.
Haerim was gone.