Ghostly Blood

Chapter 1

 "I thought when love for you died, I should die. It's dead. Alone, most strangely, I live on."

Rupert Brooke

(Present)

Goodbye. Hope to see you soon. Those were the words that she whispered to me before going away. Those beautiful words, will always stay in my mind and heart. I miss you so much. Every day it hurts to live through so much pain knowing that you're not with me throughout my life. You're away from me up in the sky of heaven. I know that letting go was the right thing but, I still can't seem to let go. Seeing him live through so much pain as well just kills me from the inside knowing that you loved him longer than me. Those sheds of tears remained visible on his face for the whole world to see. To see him scattering into tiny pieces.

At night when he whispered "I love and miss you". That broke my heart even more as he shattered to the ground asking god "Why. Why did this have to happen to me?" He begged and prayed on his life just have you back in his arms so he could tell you how much he loves and misses you. To others he is a brave soldier but to me he is a broken soul who will never see the bright light again. He will always stay in the dark miserable shadows in his life, just like me.

I was like that. Exactly like him because of one mistake that happened in our lifetime. That one mistake, that caused all of his sadness to be in our life. That one mistake that had us do a double take and look back at the memories that once lived fresh in our lives. But once you're broken you're always broken. Your heart is ripped out from your body so you have no emotions to cry or plead on, you just carry on hoping for a better life to come and overtake the past life so you'll encourage yourself to think for a better future. But that's not true, because there is only one life to live so make the best of it. You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along. You must do the thing you think you cannot do. The past is a ghost, the future is a dream, and all we ever have is now. These two quotes relate so much to my life.

I'll tell you who I'm talking about now. My mum. She died in a car crash which was caused by my uncle. He was driving the car and never saw the other car that was coming towards him, the car skidded and hit mum's side. The doctor said that she died straight away when the car hit her head and a screw went up straight to her heart. Me, dad, my big brother and small sister were home enjoying and watching a movie, that's when dad got a phone call. It was the police, they told dad about that mum got into a car accident and was in the hospital. Dad rushed us out of the house into the car and to the hospital. The minute we all stepped into mum's room the doctor informed us that she passed away. Dad broke down then and there. I still remember the way he cried his heart out. It hurt me to see my dad like that in pain.

He didn't eat or come out of his room for days neither did any of us. Mum was what anybody could ask for; she was perfect. People cried over mum's death, a lot of people cried. I can't even show dad my own face because he always says to me that I look exactly like mum. So each time I showed up he'd start to get tears in his eyes and walk off. I can't even look at my dad without hurting him. I just want him to be happy in his life, he deserves better than the rest of us. He deserves so much better.

Beating yourself up every day doesn't help anyone or yourself. No one can let go. No one...I can't...dad can't...and no one else. I just want a fresh start in life and feel the cool summer breath hit against my face so I know what I'm living for. I don't want to wake up every day and go through the same routine. I don't want to live through the pain seeing everybody hurting all the time. But that is nearly impossible. You know I used to........used to. Look at the word I'm even using, 'used to' which is referred in the past. That's because right now I'm just really depressed and stressed, well all of me and my family are really. So like I was saying I 'used' to have the perfect life. Just me, dad, mum, my brother and sister.

The ordinary and happy family, which other parents wanted to have the kids off. I was always daddy's little girl and I still am. It's just not the same with mum not always giving me that jealous look on her face, it's just not the same anymore. Me and dad hardly get to see each other because he distracts himself with work and then coming back late from work. Me, my brother and sister, we've fallen apart as well. We hardly talk to each other. Just see each other in the morning and after school, other than that no eye contact, verbal talking or anything. Without mum here it's like hell. A living hell that I'm getting punished in for missing someone that I care about

That's the day everything slipped away.