Loving a Dangerous Life (editing)

Chapter 32 - Jealous

"My boss is your father?" I asked, my voice quiet again. Alex sighed, his thumbs rubbing comforting circles on my hips. I closed my eyes. "Of course he is," I whispered, looking down. I pushed myself off of Alex, standing up and turning away from him. I wasn't mad or that surprised; it's just that I don't want Alex to get hurt by his father again. I don't want Alex to be in the mess.

Maybe it would have been better if he had never met me. It seems like all I do is put him and my family in danger.

I should leave now, instead of waiting. It would be better for everyone.

"Princess?" I mentally slapped myself. I turned around, trying to plaster a smile on my face. By the look Alex gave me, I know that it didn't work. I sighed, running a frustrated hand through my hair.

"What the hell am I supposed to do, Alex?" I asked, my voice growing panicked as my heart rate picked up. "How am I supposed to protect them, and you, against your fucking father?" I sank to my knees, panic, and anger overtaking me. I dropped my head into my hands and bit down on my lip to stop from screaming. Alex crouched by me, lifting my face to look at him. I shoved his hands off of me. I got up, running for the house. I just needed to be alone - I am so fucking angry at everything right now that I feared I would hurt Alex.

I quietly shut and locked the door to my bedroom. Alex whisper-yelled at me through it, but I ignored him. I went into my bathroom and locked that door. I turned on the sink so that no one could hear my heavy breaths slowly turn into sobs. My whole body started shaking from the pain of holding the sobs back, and I hated myself, even more, when I gave up.

The sobs tore from my chest, and I sank to the floor, my legs too weak. I held my hair back from my face, my mouth contorted as the pain fell from my eyes. I looked up at the ceiling, all my emotions crashing down on me in unforgivable waves.

"Why?" I demanded, talking to no one, my voice breaking from the sobs. "Why? Why the hell does it have to be like this?" I yelled, no longer caring if someone heard me. "How can you expect me to do this!" I sobbed words that I couldn't control falling out of my lips.

People were pounding on the door, but I didn't get up. Noise surrounded me, and I couldn't get up. Nothing was stopping. Nothing was working to calm me down. Screams and sobs were ripped from my throat, and I felt so goddamn weak.

"Why?" I screamed again, breaking down. I lay on the bathroom floor, the cool tile pressing into my hot face. The tears puddled as I hugged myself.

What is it worth?

What is this all worth?

My family. Alexander motherfucking Zane.

I can't do this. I'm not this strong- I know I'm not. But I will die trying to do this. I will die trying to kill the man who has threatened my family. Even if he is Alex's father, I have to do this. I will pretend I am strong enough: and no one has to know how scared I am. Even when I am a coward, they don't have to know that.

Right?

My mind cleared, and all that was left was the anger. The hot, unforgivable fury.

How dare he threaten to hurt his son? How fucking dare he try to hurt my family.

Fucking try me, you cock-sucking worm.

Suddenly, my bathroom was full of people. I quickly whipped my eyes, suppressing the sobs that still shook my body. I climbed off the floor.

"I'm okay, guys, don't worry," I said, smiling at them. I felt so numb right now. No one believed that I was okay, but eventually, they went back to bed. It was just Levi, Alex, and I left in my room. I turned around, placing my hands on my desk and leaning on them, momentary clearing my mind. I heard Alex and Levi talking behind me, and I quickly shut the conversation out. It's none of my business. I stood there for a few minutes, waiting for Levi to leave. When she didn't, I turned around and stood there, anger and jealousy crashing into me along with disbelief and doubt.

They were kissing.

Or rather, she was fucking kissing my man.

Time seemed to freeze as I took in the scene. Alex's arms were pushing at her, but I couldn't tell if he was kissing her back or not.

"What the hell?" Someone yelled before I could. I turned around to see my mother standing in the doorway. "Levi Rose Yulle, get your ass off your sister's boyfriend right now!" She yelled. I walked towards Alex and Levi, pushing her back. I didn't look at Alex. I felt so betrayed and so fucking angry at him.

"What the fuck?" I yelled at her. She smirked.

"Sorry, I guess they will always like me better." She said. Anger built up in me, and before I could think, my fist shot out. It made contact with her nose, and blood bloomed across her face. She fell to the ground, screaming. Fucking wimp. I looked at Mom apologetically, but she was glaring at Levi. I pushed Alex's hands away from me as he reached out.

"Stay the hell away from him. You hear me?" I pulled her collar close to me as she clutched her nose. She nodded, and I pushed her down. "I'm so sorry, Mom. It just happened," I said. Mom nodded, almost laughing.

"It's fine, sweetheart. I'll get her cleaned up." She said, pulling Levi up. I nodded. As soon as the door to my room closed again, I whirled around, my hand reaching out and whipping across Alex's face with a satisfying smack. I turned back around, opening the door.

"The door is this way." I politely smiled at him as he adjusted his jaw, his face dark with anger. He walked towards me, and I pointed out the door. "Kindly fuck off," I said, anger making my body shake. Alex stood less than two inches away from me, glaring down at me with anger- making his face dark.

"What did you just say to me?" He quietly demanded, as if he wasn't the one that just betrayed me. I glared up at him. I've never seen a man try to quell his anger until now.

"I said, fuck. Off." I said, punctuating each word with a poke to his very hard chest. He grabbed me, quickly slamming the door shut and pressing me against it.

"What did you just say to me?" He asked again.

"Are you deaf, dumb, or both? I didn't fucking stutter." I hissed the words through my teeth. He grabbed my neck, his hand wrapping around it and almost completely cutting off my air. I gasped, pushing words up. "I said, fuck off!" I yelled. Alex's eyes darkened even more, and I felt myself get wet at the sight, despite being angry.

"Bend over." He said. My mouth fell open, and I raised my hand to slap him again. He caught my wrist, his other hand tightening on my throat. I whimpered, loving the pain. He lowered his head so that his mouth was right next to my ear.

"Bend over. Now."