Loving a Dangerous Life (editing)

Chapter 43 - Destroyed

Audrey's POV

I couldn't even hold onto him because of all these stupid casts.

"I don't want to." I sobbed. I knew that he would tell me what we were, but it was not right.

I would forget how I felt about him, I would forget the rush that I felt the first time. I would forget all my feelings, and I would be back in that hopeless, helpless place that I was before I had Alex.

Zenna rubbed my back as I tried but failed to hold back tears. The past few weeks of not crying seemed to just pour out in an uncontrollable rush. I couldn't stop it, I had lost all previous control over my pain.

"Please, I would rather die," I begged Alex. He shook his head, his lips pursed together. Tears fell down his face, and I whipped them by pinching my shirt between two of my casted fingers.

"You will not die, not now, and not until you are married and happy and healthy. You will die of old age, not of anything to do with the Mafia." Alex said his voice firm. I shook my head.

"I don't want to forget all those feelings," I whispered. Alex gently kissed my forehead.

"You won't. You will feel those things again." He said, kissing my cheeks and my nose and the bandage on the cut. He captured my lips in a kiss that tasted of salt and pain. The kiss said everything that I needed to know. It said that he was sorry and that he isn't mad about our baby. It tells me to not give up, no matter what happens. Alex's hands in my hair tell me that it will be alright. He assured me that no matter what, I will feel like this again. I will fall in love with him again.

When Alex breaks away from me, I am numb. I do not feel anything but sadness. I watch as he signals to the doctor to start the operation. I watch as Alex picks me up and lays me on the surgical table, with my stomach down. I watch as they fit the gas mask on my face, and I watch as my world goes fuzzy. I watch as Alex clings to my fingers, sobbing as I go under. I close my eyes and let the darkness take over me.

After dark, there must always be light. No night lasts forever. It always must give way to a beautiful sunrise. I may not deserve to see that light after everything, but I sure as hell did not deserve to get that dark.

I hear Lyla's voice. Her face slowly comes into focus, and she opens her arms, welcoming me into her embrace. I hug her tightly and apologize over and over again and again for letting those vile men kill her. I held onto my best friend and she sighed.

"I'm glad I died. You know I've watched over you. I hated myself at first for leaving you in that dark place, but it worked out." She said. I slowly shook my head.

"I'm going to forget him, Lyla, I can't do that," I say. She leads me to a bench and I sit down, she sits next to me.

"Tell me what happened." She said. I took a deep breath.

And our whole story came out. All my hopes, all my dreams. All my feelings, everything. By the end of it, I am crying again. Lyla holds me as I sob.

"I just- I don't want to forget it," I said.

"Focus on him. Think of him." She said. I closed my eyes, thinking of Alex. I thought of his hands, how they could make me a mess in seconds. I thought of his eyes, how they changed colors with every mood. I thought of his hair, how it looked good no matter what. I thought of his small scars, those small imperfections that made him more perfect. I thought of his god-like body, with all its muscles. I thought of the way he smiled, one side of his mouth lifting before the other. I thought of his excitement over little things, and I thought about how fucking much I loved him.

He slowly began to fade away from me. I grasped onto his image, but it slipped through my fingers like water.

I tried to hold on to the feeling of him, I tried to hold onto the memories of the past four months. I tried so hard to remember my baby and my Mafia King.

The last thing that ran from me is a single sentence.

"Trust me, your perfect, Princess."

Alexander Zane slipped from my fingers like water.

I woke up on a bed. I stared up at a white ceiling as a face swam into view. She looked like a nurse.

Why am I in a hospital? Why did every one of my limbs hurt? Why are there so many casts on me?

I slowly sat up, looking around. I felt empty for some reason. I felt like I had just been under warm blankets, and they have been ripped away from me. My heart felt heavy, and tears made my eyes hard to open. I felt like I was missing something, someone.

That's impossible though.

A very pretty girl came into my focus. Her hair was black and wavy, and her skin was dark. She handed me some water.

"Hi, I'm Zenna, and once you are cleared to get out of here, I will tell you what happened." SHe said. I slowly nodded, my eyes running over her, looking for threats. I saw her Mafia badge and saw that she worked in the same gang as me.

"Audelia Yulle?" A voice asked. I looked up to see a doctor come into the room.

"That's me," I said, my voice flat and emotionless. I shoved my lonely feeling to the side.

"Great! I'll just have to check a few things, and then you should be good to go!" The doctor said. I warily looked at him.

"Keep your hands away from me." I threatened the doctor chuckled.

"I see what Alex meant now." He muttered.

"Who's Alex?" I asked. The name... I felt like I knew that name... "Do I know Alex?" I asked. Every time I said that name, heat, and energy rushed into me.

This is so fucking weird.

"No one important." Zenna quickly said. I borrowed my eyes at her.

"That's funny, his name just sounds so familiar," I muttered. Zenna nervously laughed. "Alright, come on, what's the last thing you remember?" Zenna asked. I rolled my eyes at the stupid question.

"Getting the ice cream for my b-day, why what happened, I was blown up?" I chuckled at my joke.

"You have no idea."