Alpha Dhampir~ On Hold

Chapter 20

Dmitri Belikov

These last few days have been a whirlwind. I had found out that the only man I had ever loved was alive as was the woman who held my heart. After that day in the church, I thought I had lost her forever; never to see her again, to never embrace or hear her voice. There were so many things I wanted to say to her; for example- how was she so calm about everything? She had become something that was thought to be a myth; an abomination in some people's aspects. She had her entire life and beliefs overturned in just one evening. Then there was the matter of how she got to that point, my heart-breaking words in the church. How could I have said those lies, but what was even more mind-baffling to me was how could she believe them? Roza and I had been through so much ever since meeting in Portland. There had been so many trials and tests for the love we shared; yet with one simple line, four worthless words, all those trials were proved to have been nought.

'Love Fades, Mine Has' had to have been the largest lie I had ever told in my life. There was no way in ad that I would ever stop loving the soul that was my Roza. Everything about her, the way she sacrificed her happiness for that of others; the way she fought to protect those she cared for. She had been doing it all her life, first with Lissa moments after the car accident. She had just been brought back to life, sure she may have been healed, but from experience, she would have still been sore and exhausted but that didn't stop her from killing three Strigoi. Then she left the only life she knew, in order to protect Lissa from Victor Dashkov and went on the run until I found them and dragged them back to the Academy.

That was just what she had done for Lissa; she had done so much more for the others as well. She had protected a man she thought she hated, Christian all because Lissa loved him. While fighting those Victor had ordered to kidnap Lissa, Roza willingly gave blood so Lissa could heal him. Then during Spokane; she and Christian fought to save all their friends, sadly Mason didn't last. That had truly broken Roza. She was a shell of the woman I had fallen for; then there was the issue of me fighting our love and the addition of Christian's crazy Aunt and my once friend, Tasha Ozera. How I hadn't seen the woman's true colours was beyond me. I still tortured myself over that fact knowing that she had ruined both Ivan and Roza's lives.

Then there was the matter of all that she had done for me. We fought side by side during the attack on the school; one that had almost ended my life. Ad, she almost went back into those caves, which would have resulted in her being dead. There were no chances of her being turned, no Strigoi wanted Rose Hathaway, the daughter of one of the best Guardians our society has ever known, as a Strigoi. In all honesty, Roza had taken over that role, especially with her time in Russia which took me back to my point. After I was turned, she risked her life and soul to hunt me down and free my own soul. That was where she became known as one of the most dangerous of Dhampirs, this world has ever known of.

In the end of it all, Roza almost died to save me. I thought she had killed me, and for a split second there, I felt like my normal self, I was grateful for her but also saddened due to the heartbreak she would have felt at her actions. I couldn't imagine what she would have felt after I fell off the bridge with that stake in my chest. Well actually no, I did know how she felt. She would have felt like her soul was ripped out of her chest, just as I did as I watched her leave the church, bleeding from a mystical wound after my infamous four words.

My mind went back to how relaxed she looked, braced back against Ivan, her eyes drilling into mine as I knelt and made my vows as her Guardian. Her face was one of shock, but not hatred or disgust like I had imagined. She seemed almost thoughtful, but then to my absolute shock, she offered to give back my position as Ivan's guardian. Looking at Ivan, I could see that he hadn't expected that either; but then there was a light of understanding that filtered across his eyes. I kept forgetting how much time they had spent with one another, it made me jealous. Roza and I had been able to understand what had remained unsaid by the other; now I had to share her with someone else, although if I was honest to myself... Ivan was the only other man I could see being worthy of her.