17: swings and parks

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thef*ckingjason

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thef*ckingjason

diana probably doesn't kiss miles since she; ll probably get some weird mexican disease.

Oh my god. Fuck. I'm going to kill him. Miles? I need to talk to him.

What will his mom think when I randomly show up at his house? What if she isn't home? What if one of his siblings opens the door and I just stand there like: 'hey. It's going to be so awkward. What if Alejandro opens the door. He must know everything that's going on. He must. what if he hates me. Worse, what if Clarissa hates me. I can't have her hating me, I like her company too much. Even worse, what if mama Rivera hates me too.

I'm going to cry. Fuck. Right now is not the time to be sensitive.

Three knocks on the door and now I wait.

One second.

Two seconds.

Three seconds.

Four seconds.

Five seconds.

Six seconds.

It takes a total of twenty seconds for someone to open the door. Alejandro stands before me shirtless. Is that a tattoo on his shoulder? I can't focus on that right now. It's probably the light.

"Diana. What are you doing here?" He asks as he leans against the door. The good thing is that he doesn't show signs of anger, frustration, or anything bad like that. He sounds genuinely confused to see me here which is pretty weird too.

"Uh, I'm here to see Miles. Is he here?" I repeat. I look down at my pajama pants and California grey sweatshirt. I look horrible, oh my god.

"He's not here."

"What?" Where could he be? I knew I shouldn't have driven all this way before asking. "Where is he?"

"He said he had a shift, but I know the little pendejo is lying." So Miles didn't say anything to his brother.

"Okay then. Uh, thanks." Why is my voice so shaky?

"Is that Diana?" A tiny voice screams from inside the house and a few seconds later Clarissa appears at the door. She wears a similar outfit to mine but instead wears pajama shorts. "Hey, Diana." She doesn't hate me. Good. Awesome.

"Hey C. How are you?" I ask.

"Good. Why was Miles upset earlier? He was kind of mean when he got home and then he left a while back really mad." She tells me crossing her arms across her chest. Even though she sounds upset, I know she genuinely cares about him and is really just worried.

"Um, I'm not really sure C. But I'm looking for him. Trying to see if I can help him."

"Promise to be nice to him, okay. Only I can be mean to him you know." She giggles.

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