iii. boggarts

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"It was truly terrifying Harry, I don't know how you managed to stay calm." Hermione was trying to reassure Harry after what I assume was an eventful defense against the dark arts lesson with Professor Lupin.

"I really wish I had the same schedule as you all." I let out a groan. Ron's stare was all I needed to see to take that sentence back.

"It was a bloody Dementor, Clover."

"Yeah, but that's so much more exciting than potions with Snape, without any friends." I mumble back. As well all take off for our next class, I head to the DADA classroom, eager to see if my lesson will live up to that of my friends.

"Can anybody tell me what a boggart is?" Professor Lupin asks once the class had settled down. Classes didn't seem very bright without Hermione, Lupin discovers as he looks across the crowd of clueless faces. He sighed in defeat and kept talking. "A boggart takes shape of what you fear most. Anything from a small dog to a zombie, a old friend to a dead friend." He hovers his eye contact with me, before getting on with the lesson.

"Now I won't bore you with the nitty-gritty. The charm to repel a Boggart is 'Riddikulus', practise it without wands." The class scatters their replies, unenthusiastically. "Ah, amazing. Normally, I would normally tell you all that laughter is the most effective way to defeat a boggart, but it seems that there's not a chance of that happening here. Form a line." He sighs defeatedly. He plays a jazz song on his record player, to try and liven the class up a bit. Lupin catches me trying to slip to the back of the line, not as eager to participate as the rest of the class.

"Miss May, to the front please." He gives a smirk. The type that a parent would give to their child when they know they've done something wrong. I grimace and make my way to stand in front of a blonde Hufflepuff.

"Now, I want you to think of your worst fear, really dive down into yourself and imagine it walking out of that wardrobe." He grabs my shoulders supportively and flicks his wand. "Remember... 'Ridikulus'." He whispers. I close my eyes and prepare for the worst possible thing to come out and attack me. Maybe a dragon or a dementor, like Harry, I even expect my mother to be standing in front of me when I open my eyes. But when I look up, I just see myself standing there in a black cloak.

"Uh..." I give Lupin a side eye, he looks just as confused as me. I look closer at the boggart and into my eyes looking back at me. I realise there's deranged smile plastered across its face. A cocky but almost insane smile. It's quite off putting.

"Ridikulus!" I wave my wand, getting chills down my spine. The boggart melts into a puddle, similar to the Wicked Witch of the West in that muggle movie my mother engrained into my memory when my father left. I hesitate in my spot and then wander to the back of the room, everyone ignoring what had just happened. The Hufflepuff girl shouted the charm as a shark had started flapping in the puddle that was once a clone of me. I spent the rest of the lesson half trying to write a report on Boggarts, half watching the other students. As soon as the class was dismissed I decided to forget about the entire lesson and walked straight out those doors. 

⊱✿⊰

Dinner that night felt the same as every other night. Everyone was asking Harry about whatever disastrous event had happened to him that day. Todays topic was his Dementor Boggart. 

"You keep playing it off as though it didn't happen." Ron was sitting next to me, still grilling Harry on the subject. I sit and stare down at my food while the conversation continues around me.  I feel someone kick my shin and direct my stare up through my eyelashes. Fred Weasley locks his eyes with mine. 'Are you okay?' he mouths, trying to keep the attention away from him and I. I hold my breath and give him wide smile, breaking the eye contact out of pure fear. I'm a bit surprised the boggart didn't present itself as him. He raises his eyebrows, showing that he doesn't believe me, as I turn my head back to the conversation, trying to block yet another thing out of my memory. 

"Clover, you didn't tell us about your Boggart." He announces to the small group, I drop my fork and my eyes widen. He shoots a grin my way, in typical Weasley twin fashion. 

"Oh you know..." I try to think of a lie. "Yeah well, you know..."

"Stop stalling and just tell us. It's not something dumb like clowns is it?" Ron stuffs his face with a dinner roll, turning all of the dreaded attention to my bright red face. 

"You got me." I admit defeat. "I got a stupid, freaky clown. That is my one biggest fear." I drop my shoulders. Ron bursts out laughing.

"Ronald!" Hermione scolds, defending me "People's fears are personal, even if they do happen to be something as miniscule as a clown..." She forgets to hide her judgement. 

"Wasn't yours a spider? Ron?" Fred chimes in.

"An itty, bitty spider Ron?" George joins in.

"What else would you expect from him?" Ginny, the youngest Weasley speaks up, surprising us all. 

"Shut up. At least it wasn't a clown." Ron quietens down again.

"You can't judge me while yours is a spider, Ron." I sigh, almost laughing. "They're only tiny. Clowns are like, people."

"Exactly, you're scared of a person. I'm scared of freakin' deadly spiders." We continue to bicker over who's fear was worse for the rest of the evening.

⊱✿⊰

The Hogsmeade trip had finally come around, for Harry and I, this meant a little bit of a break from our friends to enjoy each others quiet and shy company. 

"I knew it was a long shot trying to get McGonagall to sign that permission form." He flops himself down on the brown leather couch in the common room. I'm sat cross legged on the floor, with my study notes on the coffee table in front of him, trying to get my Potions homework done. 

"I could try and forge one for you?" I suggest. He shakes his head in response. 

"They could probably tell, and besides, I get to keep you company now."

"I'm literally just doing homework. How fun for you." I laugh. 

"I mean, Lupin said I could go talk to him about the Boggarts, if you'd like to come with me?" He stands up, heading to the portrait. 

"I guess I could tag along and talk about my scary clown." I stretch and lay on my back, exhausted from the hours of writing I've done. He grabs my hands and drags me towards the door.

The Professor and Harry are very deep in conversation as I trail behind them on the dangerously old bridge. I look out across the lake, taking a deep breath to relax myself.

"Your friend here, also had quite an interesting Boggart. Miss May, have you shared with Mr. Potter what happened?" The two look over, finished with their talk.

"Yeah, I told them all about the uh... clown. Terrifying thing it was." I lie through my teeth.

"Miss May, sometimes in order to face our fears, we need to be open about them." He doesn't completely expose me to Harry, but Harry definitely knows I'm hiding something. "See you guys on the other side. Finish that report."  The Professor wanders down the bridge, further away from Hogwarts, leaving Harry and I looking at each other awkwardly. 

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