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Carter smiled as Asher got himself dressed, his eyes didn't deviate from his figure. "You ready to go back then?"

Asher looked Carter over with a small nod. "I'm nervous but I am ready. I just..there is so many bad memories."

"You said you wanted to look for something though, didn't you?"

Asher nodded, he lowered his eyes and studied the shore line. Carter noticed the look on his face and stepped forward cupping his cheek. "Baby what is it?"

"I am just preparing myself."

"Take your time." Carter replied as he caressed his cheek. Asher blushed and nuzzled into Carter's hand. After a few minutes Asher finally felt it was time to go to the old homestead. As they arrived on the land Carter noticed the police tape, he held Asher's hand the entire time. Carter could feel him shaking. "Babe, are you sure you want to do this, we c-"

"No I need to find what I came looking for."

"Okay, where to?"

"Your old room."

Carter nodded following Asher up towards his room, they looked around for a moment. Carter smiled as he walked through the house, he was happy here, but Asher was doing everything he could not to break down and cry. Carter noticed the blood spot on the carpet from when Asher was stabbed. Asher avoided it as best he could as they walked up the stairs. The walls were covered in graffiti and the house looked like it had been deserted. As they entered Carter's room Asher eyed the bookshelf, he quickly took notice of what he came for. He raced forward letting go of Carters hand as he grasped the book in question.

"A book?"

"It isn't a real book." Asher replied as he removed the outer cover. "It was her diary."

Carter squinted as Asher franticly began to read the last few months entries. Carter quickly took notice of Asher's mood change. "What?"

"She is a fucking liar."

"What are you talking about?"

"We had planned to run away together, or at least that was the plan when we started out..but but..but.. she had been planning on leaving me behind long before I thought she had. I don't know what her deal is now trying to get me back but." He broke, tears rolled down his cheeks as his hands shook. He dropped the diary and crumpled to the ground. "She wrote ways she thought about killing me."

"What?" Carter asked his jaw instantly tightening, he grabbed the diary and began to scan her entries. He found the entry from five months before he was stabbed.

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Asher.

I loved him, but now, I fear if he comes with Avery and I..then I will only remember the evil that came from this house. Carter gives him so much attention and now when I look at him all I can see is Carter. I don't want him to continue to suffer and be Carters slave however, so I feel I may have to kill him to save him.

I don't know what to do about it yet, I may stab him, or poison him. However I do not know where I will get the poison. If I can get to him in the night I will suffocate him. If he is dead then Carter and Alex can no longer hurt him, I thought it would be a good idea to go away with him. Avery does love him so much, but I do not think having two people with so much trauma raising her, if we both went through what we have and we try to raise her then she may come to learn of her past. I do not wish that for my child, and so I think I will have to leave Asher behind or kill him to ensure Avery's future and mine. I do not know if I can go through with it but if I am to ensure he is not used by Carter and Alex when I leave then death would be a welcome retreat.

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