𝙢𝙮 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙚 - phil foden

55

i play with my nails as i watch the clouds move across the sky. 

i fold my arms and think over some things.

i understand where everyone was coming from, with the thing about are me and phil right for each other.

we never stop arguing and we're never serious enough. but when we're on good terms, i'm happy. as happy as i've ever been in my life. he makes me happy, but he also makes me feel like this.

stupid.

i love him, how could i not. 

he cared about me so much, he'd do anything for me. 

phil made me feel safe.

i need to stop, i'm in a state because of him. he did this. he made me feel stupid, he made me feel down, he made me doubt myself.

i look up and i can just about see all the boys out on the training pitch. i watch as mason does some tricks before getting told off by lee.

they get sorted into their groups and play four different practice matches.

i saw phil, my heart dropped.

i looked back down at the ground and pulled one strand of grass out at a time. i look towards the boys again and make eye contact with jack, i quickly look away and turn my body hoping he doesn't realise it's me.

"y/n?" i hear a familiar voice shout

"not y/n." i shout back

i look forward again and see jack running over, i lean back knowing i can't get away from this.

"what are you doing down here?" he asks as he gets closer to me

"i don't know, i wanted some space." i say

"did you come down here to watch phil?" jack asks

"what?! no way... defiantly...no." i say

"i'm not dumb y/n. but this is normal, you're getting over him." he says

"what if i don't want to get over him." i say

"you need to look at the facts, please. he isn't right for you." he says

"you don't need 'facts' in a relationship, it's about being happy. and with him, i'm happy." i say

"i didn't want to have to tell you this... but phil doesn't want to get back with you." jack tells me

"oh." i say looking down.

*JACK'S POV*

i felt bad about lying, phil never said he didn't want to be with her. but she's my sister, and i don't want him to hurt her again.

"hey, everything will be alright." i say as i see a tear come out of her eye and roll down her face

i sit down on the grass beside her and put my arm round her shoulder.

"what else did he say?" y/n asks me

"i overheard him talking to mase." i lie

*END OF JACK'S POV*

"i think they want you." i say looking up and seeing gareth staring at the both of us

"we can talk later." jack says getting up, "sure you wanna stay there?"

"i like it here." i say as jack walks off

*an hour passes*

"y/n!" i hear jack shout, "lunch."

i slowly push my self up using the fence as a guide and walk over where i see him waiting for me as all the other boys had gone in.

i walk over to jack.

"alright?" he says

"you really asking me that." i say

"you're right, but i'm hungry so come on." he says

"is phil gonna be there?" i ask

"course he is, but you're both grown ups and you're both gonna deal with it." jack says grabbing my arm and dragging me in

when we get to the dining room i take a deep breath as jack opens the door. i walk in without making eye contact with anyone and sitting at the end of the table next to jude. the food gets served and the room stays quiet until obviously mason breaks the silence.

"how was training for everybody?" he asks

"good." most of them reply

"what were you doing y/n?" he asks me

"nothing." i reply

"sounds fun." mason says sarcastically

"it wasn't." i say

"i was being sar-." he says before i cut him off

"i know." i reply

the room goes silent again.

everyone finished their food and i scrape my chair along the wooden floor trying to get out.

"leaving so early y/n." jordan says

i look at him and walk off.