Chapter 25 - Tango

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I said I was going to finish this on Sunday, but I'm probably going to be done way sooner at the rate I'm going at. 

...

If I actually have any ideas.

...

Cr*p.

Also: 

Impulse in this series: revenge and murder

Impulse in Hermitcraft: 'Can I be head of happiness?'

Hmm... very similar... 


I'm sick to death with nightmares. 

I wake up screaming from another one, panicking, looking around, trying to calm myself. Zedaph asks a stupid question about whether it was a nightmare or not. I don't answer. I haven't spoken to him since I learnt that he killed EX. He's caused weeks of sleepless nights. 

'Tango, I'm sorry. I did it for you. I didn't want you to find it. I wanted them to find it. I wanted them to know what it's like. And I know I made it look like Etho's corpse on purpose, so they truly knew. I'm sorry. I'm truly, truly, sorry. For all of it. For doing it, and then not telling you.'

I still don't reply, standing up as I shake the last of the dreams away. I leave the room, and Zedaph catches the door before it closes, running after me. 

'Tango, please. Talk to me. Acknowledge that I exist. Please. I'm sorry. I know it was wrong. I understand how hard this has all been for you. I wanted them to have the nightmares, not you. You're my best friend. I'd never do something like that to you on purpose.' 

Grian and Pearl join us on the way. I'm still not happy at the former for babying me about Etho and Doc, so I don't talk to him either. He doesn't try and talk to me either right away. We reach the eating area, where what used to be the SO DEAD are together. Martyn isn't talking, but Skizz and Jimmy are chatting happily together. Zedaph and Pearl join them, but Grian looks instead to False, who I recall is the last other remaining member of their find-the-way-out group. He ends up joining her, inviting me to join. Iskall's also there, as is xB. I decide I will join, and do. 

'Hey, Grian! These two wanted to join in with finding the exit.'

'Great!'

'Does Tango want to as well?' 

I don't reply, just sitting down. Grian sighs. 

'Tango, you're mad at everyone. We understand. But we're your friends.'

'You don't know what it's like!' I burst out furiously. 'You don't know what it's like to have constant nightmares! You don't know what it's like to be terrified of every little place that reminds me of the maze. Of him. Of all of it. You don't know what it's like to be in the dark about everything, because your friends think your too scared to deal with it! I have a reason to be mad. I deserve to be upset about this. But you don't understand, and I don't think you ever will.'

'I'm sorry.' It's all he seems capable of replying with. 

'Is that all?'

'What do you want me to say?!'

'Something that you actually mean.'

I walk away, thinking the flickering lights are my imagination until I hear the explosions. 

I turn back quickly, as a group of people everyone thought was dead appears. I don't care about most of them. I don't care that Ren and Scott are there, plus the Convex. Both the convex. 

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