Frozen pages (Chongqiu/Xingyun) ||Hiatus||

Chapter 20: Qiu, what is Tevyat?

20 chapters already holy moly I am addicted to writing this book honestly xD
Anyways thank you for your continuous support it means so much, I also love to read the comments you guys keep leaving they are a lot of fun!
Now~ have some food 👀

Xingqiu's pov:
Lunch break 15th of May, Monday
We are one month away from graduation, we are filled with exams, Chongyun is actually very bold for deciding to take the tests, due to his coma he had the option to delay them but he chose not to.
Speaking of Chongyun, we were just enjoying our meals together on the roof like usual while chatting.

"Xingqiu- I have a question"

"About what?"

"I remember having a dream, during my coma"

"Oh? What kind of dream?"

"I remember that you, Xiangling and Hu Tao were in it. Also Aether but he was only there briefly."

"And where were we?"

"I don't know, we had visions, gods and basically we were in some sort of fantasy world. Tevyat I think-"

"Tevyat? I've heard of that!"

"Wait what- Qiu what is Tevyat?"

"Yeah, basically studies have shown that people who are between life and death aka are in a coma have dreams in a world called Tevyat, they mostly see their loved ones and it's said that Tevyat shows all the duties they still would have to fufill in life."

"I see- so to me the main thing was you right now in my life huh-"

"What's that supposed to mean Yunyun-"

"Well.. in my dream, I had a massive crush on you- and in the end we got together. That's literally all I managed to remember"

I stayed silent. The people say that the things you remember from that dream are the things that matter the most to you in life currently and are your biggest ambitions at the moment.
But then why did he reject me before if not long after it he had a dream about me in Tevyat?
If it was is biggest wish to be with me.. why did he push me away?

"Qiu?-"

"Then why didn't you accept my confession the first time-"

"I- well uh- Okay this will be a dumb reason-."

"Spit it out already yun!"

"I was scared."

I looked at him dumbfounded and utterly confused.

"Why were you scared?"

"Because you are a Guhua! 2nd heir of the Feiyum Company might I add. What were the chances we could have a calm stable and healthy relationship?
Especially knowing that you'd probably have to marry someone else!.
In fact I'm still scared!.."

"Yun.."

"I'm scared that my decision will affect your life in the wrong direction."

"Yun no-"

"I'm terrified of the thought that you might have to marry someone else!"

"Yun!-"

"I'm terrified of you keeping our relationship only to get caught later!.
I don't want to hold you ba-"

I kissed him pinning him on the ground making him gasp, how dare he think such things! He knows damn well I do not care about that kind of thing and that we'd work it out!
I deepened the kiss untill he broke it off.

"Qiu someone could see us!"

"I did say the relationship should be a secret. But I NEVER said that it'll trouble me or hold me back. I will find a way to make this work and I cam swear on my life for that. Even if it will be a rollercoaster for me, even if I will have to neglect many things I will make this work. No matter what.
I love you Chongyun and no one. Not even you can make me stop feeling this way."

"Xingqiu..-"

"Shut up you over thinker."
I said sitting up and pulling him in a tight embrace, he hugged me back and we just sat there enjoying each other's warmth untill the bell rang.

No pov:

'I would snitch on you and ruin your whole life. But sadly I do have one person. That I feel the same way towards. And I hate it, because I barely remember him.'

Thought a lonesome figure that was lurking in the shadows of the roof. The siluett of a short man barely noticable in the sharp shadows elveloping him.

He himself knew very well the feeing of love. He is disgusted by it but he cannot change the way he feels. He loves this man. This boy from his childhood. From his hometown. After all those years he can only remember the faint iconic look of the male, and now he had seen him again as he moved here. He hated his feelings and hated the guy for making him feel that way. And hated himself for being so naive. He knew very well his love will never be a choice but a force. He knew very well he can't fall for anyone. But oh his little young heart did fall for a person. And even worse. A male. He was well aware of his mother's rage and karma if she ever found out. Thus why he never even tried to get close to the boy and instead hurt him. Been mean to him. Even as a young kid he knew all of this his life was controlled. He could not be who he wants to be. He could not befriend anyone. Hell he even knows his business collaborates better than his own relatives.

He forgot everything and everyone from when he was young. Memories of his childhood are non esxistent to him. Only one small bit of memory stayed withing his lonely lingering heart that was yearning for appriciation. Yearning for that appriciation of that boy. That white haired boy who have now matured and changed just like he had. He used to be taller than the person. Now he is slightly shorter. The man's voice used to be loud and childlike. Now it's soft like a calm breeze in a night sky. While his voice became more demanding. Stubborn and cold. Lost the warmth and the childish tones.
They have matured, they have changed. Into very different directions. Because one had grown up in his home land full of love.
And one was lost in the void of business and force.

The are destined to be apart. But he is drawn ti this man like non other. They have been separated for years. Yet here he is, seeing the white strands and crimson eyes again. Hearing that name again. Hating himself for his feelings more than ever.

Kadehara Kazuha. His childhood rival. His very first love. His very first mistake. And the best mistake he had ever made in his eyes no matter how much he hates to admit it and how far they are.
He knows the feeling of love. And he doesn't want to ever forget it.