Sanders Sides AU August

Always Yours [Analogical]

AU: Futuristic

TW: None that I know of

WC: 1272

Date: 8/24/2021

"Hello, I am your new assistant. I will follow any directives you give me."

Virgil stared at the android, hands flexing. "Do you have a name?"

"I did not come pre-programmed with a name, you are welcome to choose whatever name suits your needs best."

"I... I don't know, that's a huge decision."

"Would it help if I were to choose my own name?"

Virgil nodded, wringing his hands together. He wanted to snap and be sarcastic. He wanted to send the android back, but Patton had said this would be good for him. With his one and only friend now halfway across the country because he had moved in with his long-distance boyfriend, Virgil would have been completely alone.

"Logan shall be a suitable name then."

He looked back at the android and nodded. "Logan it is. Look, I'm not going to need you all of the time, but sometimes care tasks are a bit hard. So... yeah, that's the only reason I need you around is so that I can get help when things are hard." Maybe it would also be good to have a companion around, someone who made him feel less alone.

"Of course, whatever your needs are, I am here to meet them, no matter how large or small."

"Could you um... start with picking up the living room?"

"Certainly."

With that, the android was off.

Virgil felt weird about this, they all looked so life-like and so close to human, it was strange having one of them in his house following his orders. He collapsed against the wall, leg bouncing, as he hid himself behind his crossed arms. He didn't like bossing people around, he wasn't meant for confrontation. He had hoped that maybe his brain wouldn't recognize the android as human, maybe then he wouldn't feel so guilty... no, he knew that wasn't going to happen, he didn't even like being mean to his phone. Even when he was feeling a little feisty he would apologize after saying something even mildly wrong.

"What is on your mind?"

Virgil almost jumped, having not noticed that Logan returned to his side. "Just thinking about how this arrangement will work. I don't really like bossing people around."

"If it helps, I am not a person, however, considering I have been programmed with many psychological studies I assume that that will not be helpful so I should also comment that it is okay to ask for the things you need. It doesn't make you bossy. Also, it may be easier to voice your needs and concerns to people after you have done so with me, as I hope to provide a safe space for you to express yourself."

"For someone who isn't human, that was a very psychological thing to say."

"As I stated, I have been programmed with many psychological studies."

"Yeah, yeah, okay, you want me to express my needs? I need a new friend."

Logan stopped, looking at Virgil with critical eyes as he processed the request. "I do not believe I will be a suitable friend as I lack the ability to empathize or be humorous, however, I can provide a critical eye to those you might want to welcome into your life."

"That's the problem. I am too anxious to welcome anyone into my life." His shoulders sagged, even an android meant to be there for him wouldn't be his friend. He saw the logic behind it but it was sad in a very weird and pathetic way.

"Virgil, may I hug you?" Logan asked. "You look as if physical affection might be of comfort to you."

He hesitated but eventually nodded, and fell into Logan's open arms. He was surprisingly warm and soft for an android.

"I am here for you Virgil as long as you will have me."

~~~~~

Virgil found himself improving over the next few months. Logan always respected his boundaries but also helped him set healthy habits. He had even started making friends with a man named Remus. Virgil had always thought he was a delinquent but after getting Logan's seal of approval, Virgil put a bit more effort into getting to know the man.

He was chaotic and funny, but he was also loyal as shit and Virgil really needed that in his life. Things were looking up, and Logan had been there every step of the way. He was a safe place, and he felt like home. It was weird, and one day while the two of them were sitting in comfortable silence, Virgil let it slip out.

"I think I love you."

The silence that followed was not a comfortable one; its ending marked with Logan putting down the book he was reading.

"I don't believe that is the case, Virgil, I do not want to invalidate your feelings, but... if I may analyze the situation."

Logan was choosing his words so carefully, and Virgil was hurt, he really was, because this felt like rejection, but he would hear Logan out.

"From what you have told me, this feeling of love is rather just a feeling of safety and comfort. This is one of the first times you have experienced someone who takes your emotional needs into account. This isn't love, it's basic human decency, and I am sorry you haven't had much experience with it before."

Virgil didn't even know he was holding his breath until he let out a shaky exhale. "What do you mean?"

"Your parents had certain expectations you needed to fulfill, and if you didn't they withheld basic emotional needs. You were punished with 'disappointment', causing you to not value yourself. Also, you specifically stated to me that you weren't allowed to show signs of anxiety or depression as a child because you 'didn't have it that bad' when both of these disorders are caused by a chemical imbalance and while a person's situation can have a large effect on how their disorder presents, it doesn't stop you from experiencing them. This would logically lead you to believe that caring for your emotional needs was someone going above and beyond what is expected. However, it is not. What I am able to give you, should be the bare minimum of what you need in a romantic partner. You need someone who can give you more than the bare minimum."

Logan slowly stopped talking, "I have caused you distress, I apologize."

"No, no... I... probably needed to hear that." Virgil was curled tightly in on himself. "What if I can't find anyone who treats me like that? I want to be loved, and I want to be deserved."

"Your value is not based on your relationship to another person. However, I believe that you would be desirable to many different people. You have even made a small group of friends who support you. There may come a point when you don't need me-"

"No!" Virgil reacted before he could even think about it. "I mean... having you around has only improved my mental health, so it would be best to keep you around right."

"Every tool eventually serves its purpose."

"You are more to me than that."

Logan didn't respond, and Virgil sighed, resting against him. "I am emotionally drained now. Take responsibility and be my pillow."

"Of course." Logan shifted so that Virgil could rest on his lap.

"Stay until I fall asleep?"

"I'll stay as long as you have need of me."

Virgil nodded contentedly, despite his heart still hurting. "Thank you, Logan." He still thought his feelings for Logan were more than what had been explained, but Logan gave him a lot to think about. He always gave him a lot to think about.

The worst part was, as he almost watched the precipice of sleep, he could have sworn he heard a soft, quiet voice.

"I am yours."