Sanders Sides AU August

Check & Mate

AU: Hospital AU

TW: Main Character Death, Unspecified Illnesses

WC: 992

Date: 8/28/2021

"You, reading a book, what a scandalous affair." Janus smirked as Logan looked up, then signed the letter 'S' just so his friend knew he was being sarcastic. They had developed the system over a year ago and it seemed to assuage a lot of Logan's concerns about the meaning of Janus' words. Especially since Janus used a lot of sarcasm and dark humor to cope with his pain.

The nerd put a mark in his book, giving Janus a tired smile.

"I was beginning to think you wouldn't come today."

"And deprive you of my company?"

Logan shot him a look, but they didn't say it. They both knew that sometimes Janus couldn't come. Sometimes leaving his bed was too difficult.

"What game did you bring today?"

"One of your favorites." He put the collapsible chessboard on the rolling table before pushing it to Logan. It was nice to have the extra stability, but he still collapsed onto the bed as soon as he was close enough.

"You may finally be able to win today," a quiet way for Logan to tell Janus he wasn't feeling his best. Those days had been coming more and more often recently.

"If I remember correctly, I have beaten you several times." A response to tell Logan that Janus was feeling well enough for the both of them.

The two of them had developed a quiet code and a system of checking in on each other, words and phrases that meant other things so that nurses and doctors couldn't eavesdrop. It allowed them to complain about their pain without people rushing in to coddle them or adjust their medication. Neither of them liked the way the medication made them feel. Logan said the drugs made him feel like his mind was slipping away from him, and he defined himself so much by his mind. Janus, on the other hand, liked to keep his wits about him, and if they matched his meds to his pain levels, he didn't think he could protect himself if need be.

"I'm guessing you are going to prioritize protecting your king today?"

"Not if all of my pawns keep disappearing," Logan replied as Janus set up the chessboard.

"White or Black?"

"White."

Janus swallowed, setting up the board between the two of them. Logan's last lab results must not have been good, though that was probably an understatement. Protecting the king meant taking more time for himself, prioritizing his health. Pawns disappearing was code for bad lab results, typically a sudden dip in something that shouldn't be falling that rapidly. White or Black, well, as morbid as that one was, it was a question, 'Which of us goes first?'

When Logan was feeling well Janus always went first. He hadn't been progressing well for years now and it wouldn't be a surprise if his luck finally ran out.

Honestly, he would rather his luck run out first. Not that he wanted to put Logan through the trauma of losing a friend, but Logan was all he had. When Janus had first been diagnosed his few friends had been sympathetic, but as the disease progressed, and especially once he was hospitalized, things had become too 'difficult' for them. He was the one going through all of it, but they had seen fit to drop him when it became inconvenient.

"Janus, do you realize how important you are to me?" Logan asked as he moved his knight forward.

"Please don't become sentimental my dear, I'm not sure my heart can handle it."

"By definition, sentimentality has a tinge of sadness to it. How can I be sad when I am sitting here with my best friend?"

Janus paused, fingers hanging over the pawn he was about to move. He had known for some time that Logan was the most important person in his life, his best and closest friend, but neither of them had said it out loud.

"You aren't allowed to die before me." Janus finally moved the pawn. "If you do, who will delete my internet search history."

"I doubt they care that you have been posting conspiracy theories about how eating the rich will end world hunger."

"You never know Logan, you never know."

They continued for a few more moves, Janus could see Logan getting tired despite it barely being noon.

"Hey, L, just so you know... same."

His friend smiled a little bit.

"I appreciate the clarification. I knew your importance to me, but I didn't want to assume it went the other way."

"It does."

"Checkmate."

Janus looked at the board, not seeing a single way out. "You win again." When he looked back up at Logan he could see the exhaustion in his eyes. "You look like shit. Get some rest. I'll come back after dinner."

Logan gave him a weak smirk but nodded, leaning back in the bed. His body relaxed into sleep almost instantly and Janus stood up, pushing the table back where it belonged, limping over to the door frame. He threw another look back at Logan, hoping that rest would actually help his friend heal, even if he knew that wasn't how these things worked.

He wasn't even halfway back to his room when he heard the nurses scramble, and if he listened closer he could hear a heart monitor that had gone flat.

"Logan."

He didn't hesitate to turn around, pushing himself as fast as he could go towards his best friend's room, but his body crumbled underneath him, refusing to obey his commands. The chess set went flying out of his hands, pieces scattering on the floor. He watched as a few more people ran into Logan's room, the white king cracking underneath someone's foot.

His eyes were glued to the piece, kicked aside to clean the hallway. He stared at it until his vision blurred with unshed tears.

White always went first and black would go second.