AMORE MIO (on hold)

xvii.

GIULIA

I can't help the small whimper that escapes my lips as Nicolas deepens our kiss, cradling the back of my neck roughly. I can't move. I can't think. I can do nothing but give into him and return his kiss.

This feels surreal and like I'm in over my head, which I most likely am. Like everything else with Nicolas, this only confuses me further, but I'm so weak when it comes to him that I find myself helpless. My arms are draped over his shoulder, and I can do nothing else but tighten my legs around him, practically rubbing my crotch against his stomach to keep myself from falling as he walks.

When I least expect this to get any more confusing, it does. Nicolas drives me insane already, but these questions about if I would have let him fuck me? That's too much for me to handle. He doesn't even give me a moment to think before sliding his hands over the back of my bare thighs and under my dress as he grabs onto my ass roughly.

Suddenly he's moving, and I feel him under me as the sounds of the hay under his feet crunching take over. His lips don't leave mine as our kiss continues, and it's taking everything I have to gather some short gasps of air in between our lips parting for a few short seconds.

"Fuck," Nicolas grunts just as I feel myself jerk away from him. I'm still holding on, but he's tipping me down, and I'm suddenly yanking my mouth from his to see what's happening. Before I can even stop it from happening, my back hits a few stacks of hay that are laid out in the corner, and the rough edges of some wisps of the rough hay scratch the skin of my shoulders and arms.

"What?!" I yell, abruptly slamming my palms down as my arms release from Nicolas. My legs are still wrapped around his waist, but I can't even get myself up and his body comes down to cover mine. "Nicolas."

His name comes out as a choke as I search his face for some explanation. When I see that I can't read him, as per usual, my mouth gapes for a moment. His dark hair, and dark eyes contrast my own features, and his tan skin only complements the black of his hair and eyes.

"Let me fuck you, Giulia. You belong to me anyways, so what's a few weeks? Let me do this," Nicolas says frantically, as if he's running out of time and needs to complete a task. I can feel the color drain from my face as it fails, and I struggle to think of a response, let alone verbalize any concern that I have.

His lips are exploring the crook of my neck, and my entire body is conflicted. I so obviously want this attention that I'm now getting from him, but nothing about this is okay. There's way too much at risk, and I don't even know if it's worth risking. We've already gone further than we should have, and this is borderline dangerous.

A small moan leaves my lips as I throw my head back, feeling his teeth scrap against the sensitive skin on my neck. My natural reaction is to tug at the hair on the back of his neck, and just as I feel him grind into me again, I'm startled by a loud, sharp noise. My body goes completely rigid as Nicolas stills, pulling his lips from my skin.

"What the hell are you two doing?" Vincenzo's voice echoes through the barn. "Nicolas."

It's weird, because I don't think I can really understand the current dynamic in the room. Nicolas seems to be completely caught off guard, which is fine, but it's also odd considering that Vincenzo is his younger brother, yet Nicolas looks like he's been caught red handed by his father, or even worse, my father.

"Vince," he hisses, standing tall as he pulls back from me, letting go of my legs so they fall down. I sink further into the hay stack, but I'm glad for it, because I would rather drown in hay than deal with this. I feel so ashamed and uncomfortable because of what he just caught us in the middle of.

"Are you insane? Do you really think that fucking in the barn is the best idea with all things given? We're already in a tough situation as it is, and you think that popping your virgin bride's cherry right now is going to help that?" Vincenzo snaps at Nicolas, practically yelling from where he's standing. I can now see that the metal pails were what made the loud noise that startled me, considering they're now on the floor with food spilling out of them.

Nicolas turns his back to me, taking a few steps towards his brother. It's evident that he's getting pissed with every word that leaves Vincenzo's mouth with how he's balling up his fists at his side. I bite down on my lower lip, frowning a bit as I watch the two step towards each other. Vincenzo is terrifying on his own, but Nicolas is absolutely devastating. He's taller, and even though Vincenzo is broader, Nicolas holds the power in the room — much like anywhere he goes.

"Stai Zitto," Nicolas curses, shaking his head at his brother. "Stay out of this. You don't know anything, and I don't think this is the place to have this conversation."

It takes me a moment to realize why Vincenzo looks past Nicolas and directly makes eye contact with me, but it clicks when I realize that they're referring to me. To my presence here. Nicolas doesn't want to talk about whatever it is that they're in reference to in front of me.

It's the weirdest thing. If I wasn't so ashamed and uncomfortable, I think I would be more focused on how odd it was that Nicolas' younger brother was trying to make it seem as if he was the one with authority here. I knew for a fact that it wasn't true, given that Nicolas was in charge of this entire city, and all of Boston knew that. His brothers fell in line clearly, so this current debacle was even more confusing.

I clear my throat a bit and Nicolas jerks his head back, matching me with a blank look just like the one Vincenzo has been giving me. It was clear that both brothers knew how to keep things under wraps if that's what they wanted, and that's exactly what they were doing to me too.

Great.

Just another reminder that I'm not truly wanted her.

"I'll be inside," I mutter as I stumble to my feet, adjusting my dress and running my fingers through my hair. I know I look frazzled, but we were already caught and I was already humiliated, so who cares? A few little pieces of stray hay come out onto my hands, which I toss to the ground as I stomp away, struggling with my handles in all of the twigs and leaves that have gathered on this end of the stables.

Nicolas and Vincenzo get back to their conversation, not paying even another glance my way, and I'm reminded of what I almost gave up for Nicolas a few moments ago. Would I have done it? I'm not completely sure. I would like to think that I wouldn't, but it seems like I tend to do all the wrong things in Nicolas' presence.

As I walk back up the hill towards the unbearably perfect estate, I wrap my arms across my chest, using my hands to warm up the opposing arm. It's still cool, and the wind has picked up. I really should be wearing a coat before I catch a cold, but my mind is everywhere it shouldn't be instead.

What was going on between Vincenzo and Nicolas?

I nearly second guess myself and feel the urge to head back down to the stables to eavesdrop on the two of them, but I know better. They're two Made Men. I'm sure they would figure it out in a second. If they don't hear me, they'll definitely sniff me out. Dogs can sniff out blood, I'm sure the two of them are capable of the same.

- -

a/n: Hello!! sorry for the incredibly long delay on posting for this story. I have writer's block, then got super sick, and things in my personal life have been overwhelming. I can assure you I now have a clear direction as to where this story is heading, so stay tuned!

Please continue to vote! I really appreciate it. If you post on social media, tag me! @luxlovin on all socials. Also, go check out my other story, Want. It's almost finished and will be going through a thorough re-write soon. Lots of love xo