AMORE MIO (on hold)

xxii.

GIULIA'S POV

I have no idea how much time has passed when I finally wake up, but I can tell by the darkness of the room that it must be the evening or even perhaps night already. My head throbs, but the headache is nothing compared to the pain that I'm feeling in my hand.

My natural instinct is to curl my hand together, which only makes me gasp out in absolute torture. The stitches are still in, and I vaguely remember Nicolas telling me that he'll have to remove them in a few days.

Before I can react, I feel his hand on mine, forcing my fingers to relax and me to hold my palm out flat rather than curl it into a fist. He's so close to me. I didn't realize it, but his bare legs press against mine under the comforter, and as I go to sit up, he's right there beside me doing the same.

"Don't move your hand much. It's going to hurt, and it's probably going to feel uncomfortable for the next few days in general," Nicolas' voice is soft. It's the complete opposite of what he gave me earlier, when we were downstairs with Carmella and Angelo.

I nearly shudder when I realize what happened a few hours back — how he acted, and the way that I did in return. My face burns in embarrassment and I force myself to hold back tears. I feel him shift in the bed next to me, which makes me wonder if he's been laying in bed with me this entire time.

What happened after I freaked out? I can't remember much apart from hurting myself, screaming, and him trying to stitch me up and calm me down. Everything else is a blur.

"Here, take two more of these. It's strong, but not as strong as what I gave you earlier," Nicolas adjusts himself and appears in front of me, putting two white pills in the hand that isn't injured. I pop them into my mouth and grab the glass of water he holds out to me, taking a large chug and swallowing the pills.

I take a moment to drink a few more sips, unsure of what to say to him. Not only am I extremely thirsty, but it gives me a moment to check him out. He looks tired, which makes me think that he hadn't slept like me, but maybe just laid in bed with me. I'm unsure, but I can tell by his messy hair and distraught look that he's definitely out of it.

He deserves it. I know he deserves feeling like shit, but I feel awful about it regardless. I freaked out. I knew what I was getting myself into, and I freaked out when I saw Carmella here, and I'm so angry with myself about it that I feel tears rushing before I can stop them. Gently, I hand the half full glass back to him.

"Please don't cry," Nicolas says softly, and it only makes it worse. He's trying to be nice or he feels bad, but either way, I only feel even more awful about it. I can't help myself. Instead, I go to try and wipe my tears, but end up wincing in pain as I try using both hands. "Giulia. You don't deserve to cry, especially not over me."

"If not you, then who, Nicolas?" I choke out, shaking my head as he takes my hurt hand, placating it on my lap again. I'm hoping the painkillers kick in soon, because it's excruciatingly painful and I don't know how much longer I'll be able to handle it.

"No one. No one deserves your tears, amore. Not even me," Nicolas narrows his gaze to meet mine, forcing two fingers under my chin and making me look into his eyes. We're so different. He's handsome, sharp, terrifying, and I'm quite the opposite. I feel that now more than ever, seeing how much power he holds over me. "I'm so sorry. You don't deserve to go through any of this."

His words hit me hard, and I'm sure that if I wasn't seated against the headboard that I would have literally fallen. Has Nicolas ever apologized to anyone? I have a strong feeling that he hasn't. I've never heard any made man apologize, unless it's someone begging my father to spare them, which I only heard because I was snooping around. It's just something they don't do. They don't beg for mercy, but they'll die for their cause.