I Won't Give Up (A danisnotonfire Love Story) *UNDERGOING EDITING*

Chapter 6: Remembering Sunday (trigger warning)

Even though Daniel was only a week old, Dan decided to tell the fans earlier. He couldn’t contain the secret much longer, since he wanted to go out and show him off sometimes. But I honestly was scared of how his fans would react. I would hate to see all my nightmares come true.

 Dan was setting up his camera to announce the news, and I guess Phil saw how nervous I was, because he pulled me away. He gave me a comforting hug, and I whimpered, hugging him back. I was shaking slightly, the anxiety taking over me.

 “It’s gonna be okay, Persephone. Dan would never do anything that was bad,” Phil said, pulling away, “Especially when it revolves around you and his baby,”

 I looked into his eyes, “Phil…I don’t want his career to be ruined because of me,”

 “It won’t be. If his fans can’t accept Daniel and you being his mother, then they were never true friends. You know that, Dan loves you two so much, those fans could never change that. If it could, he would’ve broken it off with you the first time you got hate.” Phil reminded me

 I sighed, “You’re right. But I can’t help but be scared, y’know? This is his baby, and I know his fans know about me disappearing. I won’t tolerate Daniel or him or you getting hate, but me, I really don’t care. It may hurt, but it hurts worse to see you guys get hated on for my own problems,” I explained

 “Don’t worry about it. I know Dan would go ape-shit if any of that happened.” Phil replied, scratching his nose and playing with his hair

 I was about to reply, when Dan called for us to return. He looked at us questionably, but decided to ask later. The camera was set up, ready for action. I gulped my heart pounding. I sat down on the couch away from the camera, beside Phil, and got ready for the show to begin. Dan looked at us worriedly, noticing the tension in the atmosphere.

 “Hello internet! Well…this is rather very different from my usual videos. This is my explanation on the many absences throughout this year, and what’s going on as of now. Now, before I go into it, you guys remember my girlfriend, Persephone Evangeline, right? Well, she has a big part in all of this, along with someone you guys do not know.

 So, about a year ago, Persephone had left me and Phil and his girlfriend, Crystal, and didn’t return. During that time, of course, I pretended nothing was going on, that I was okay. But in reality, I was torn up and sad. I thought she had gotten tired of me, that she didn’t love me anymore. And for that, she left me behind to start a new life.

 But I was wrong.

 Because on the other side, Persephone was going through her own struggles.

 But I found her about a week ago, and somebody else.

 The reason Persephone left me and everyone else to hide, was because she was pregnant. And she didn’t know what to do, and she felt our baby would jeopardize my YouTube career, which I knew wouldn’t be true. A child—that is mine, so don’t go saying it’s not, because I know damn well Persephone never cheated—couldn’t ruin my career, because I wouldn’t let it.

 So now, I’m the proud father of a little boy, named Daniel James-Michael Howell. And I’m proud to say Persephone is his mum, and Phil and Crystal are his godparents. I’ve got my own family now, but that doesn’t mean I’m giving up on my job. Sure, my priorities will change, but YouTube keeps me happy. And for that, I won’t stop making videos.

 So I bid thee farewell YouTube, and I will see you very soon!”

 He ended the video, and turned around to face us. He sighed heavily, and fell over onto his back in a heap.

 “That took so much effort to do!” He complained

 “Well now the fans will know the truth, Dan. So it’s very much worth it,” Phil replied, getting to his feet,

“Now all we do is wait for the response,” I uttered, crossing my arms and playing with the sleeves of my shirt.
 
-A Few Days Later-
 
The response to Daniel was impeccable. Dan had released a photo of us three yesterday onto Instagram, Tumblr, Facebook, and Twitter, where the photo spread across the interwebs like wildfire. The “Dangirls” were all complaining that Dan wasn’t there’s now, and he wouldn’t be. But the true Danosaurs congratulated him for it, and freaked out so much on Daniel—in a good way.

 But for me, the hate was endless. The fans were calling me so many degrading names, blaming me for Dan’s absence and his sadness. Like seriously, I fucking know it was my fault, you don’t have to tell me twice. They’ll call me ugly, fat; tell me to kill myself, to go cut, to leave Dan because he doesn’t need me.

 And it’s brought out the hardships in me.

 Because all the stuff I went through before I met Dan, all the stuff I went through during my pregnancy, has resurfaced, and turned for the worst.

 When I was fourteen, I was heavily bullied in school. I was thrown against walls, spit on, punched, kicked, screamed at, degraded, and stolen from. I was picked on, because I was different, because I dated girls and guys, because I liked different music, because I dressed differently. My school wouldn’t accept you if you didn’t like rap or dressed like a complete slut, so I got so much shit.

 I was hit with massive depression by my fifteenth birthday. I rarely smiled, I came home broken and battered, I came home sobbing. My parents didn’t know what to do, because they were scared to lose me. So they did what they thought was best, they contacted my doctor and prescribed me antidepressants.

 But…those “magic pills,” only made me worse. Because it took all my emotions, and made them into one big volcano, ready to burst. That’s when I became addicted to marijuana and coke, because it helped “numb” the pain and make me feel high instead. But then I almost died, and had to go to rehab when I was sixteen.

 When I escaped rehab, I was even worse. Weak, my immune system was slaughtered, my head was foggy. I didn’t return to school, since my mom knew I’d be having withdrawals, and I couldn’t handle bullying on top of that.

 I did have withdrawals, yes, but I knew better than to return to drugs. Especially after what happened to my body. I was now infested with a weak immune system, and I had destroyed my bones. I lost a lot of weight, and my mom immediately made me pack back on fifty pounds, because I was severely underweight for a sixteen year old.

 I returned to school, seeming I was better, but the moment I returned I was attacked. A bunch of girls and guys ganged up on me. I was gang-raped and beaten, left to die on the streets. That’s how I met Crystal, she’s the one who found me, and saved my life. I owed a lot to her, and since then, she’s been my sister.

 After that, I began to swirl out of control.

 I became bulimic. My mom would hear me gagging in the night, and I knew it upset her, because she used to be bulimic. I was slowly fading away, and then I found the razorblade. The thing that ruins people, but makes them fall in love with it. The love with a razorblade is forbidden, which makes it even harder to break off. Cutting became my newest addiction, like the drugs were. I did it everytime I needed it. I almost killed myself, because I wanted to escape my own hell.

 Then after a long year, I was finally better, and I had recently turned seventeen.

 And then I met Dan. And my world turned for the better. I had improved mentally and physically, and I owe it to everyone who helped me through it.

 But now…those feelings were coming back.

 And I was afraid I wouldn't live through this alive. 

Photo is the new and improved image of Persephone.

Yay.