Koi No Yokan

Chapter 25

Rainey

"No. She didn't ask me. They just assumed I did it." I whispered in a low voice. "Fuckin' good. No one's believing me anyway."

The feeling of being too damn elated and contented as I lay my head at her shoulders. Weird that I can say things without being a crying baby. I just feel happy.

"Ang bobo ko din kasi. Hindi na naman ako nakapasa. Isa pa yon sa ikinagalit na naman nila. I should just die to solve their problems, right? Life will be better without me. Sabi ni Priam mas mabuti pa nga na mawala na ako kesa nagkakasakit sila Mama dahil sa kunsumisyon sakin."

"It's okay. It's okay. Everything will go away. It's okay." I felt a pair of hands gently caressing my cheeks. "Hold on, Rainey. It's okay."

I closed my eyes. Trying to concentrate more as this is making me feel extremely happy.

"You should try." Inabot ko sa bibig nito yung isang candy na natitira pa sa bulsa ko. Kinuha lang nito iyon at itinago sa bag nito.

"No. I won't. I'll keep you safe as the feeling wards off." Ngumiti pa ito bago hinaplos ulit yung buhok ko. Isinandal nito yung ulo ko sa pader. Pagkatapos ay tumayo palapit sa pool. "Do you want to swim?"

"No." I shake my head. Though it made me a little dizzy. "Come back here." I motioned my hands urging her to come back.

Hindi ko gaanong maaninag yung mukha nya. But I can tell that she's wearing an eyeglass. When she took it off, I almost held my breath.

She's pretty.

"Lay your head against the wall. The effect would ward off soon." paalala lang nito bago tuluyang nagdive sa pool. I even heard the loud splash of the water.

"No. Come back here!" I demand.

Nang hindi ito sumunod ay natatawang tumayo ako at humabol dito. For a split second, I forgot that I don't know how to swim. So, what I did next stunned me too as I dive straight to the pool with my clothes on.

Naramdaman ko yung paglubog ko sa tubig. Iminulat ko yung mata ko na para bang may hinahanap. But all I see is a sinking hole sucking me in. I continue sinking deeper. Deeper. Deeper.

Death. Here I come. Take me.

As I am accepting my fate, I felt two strong hands pulling me up.

When my head resurfaced above the water, I took a gulp of air to breathe. Sunod sunod akong napaubo habang dama ko yung pagyakap sakin ng kasama ko. Masuyong hinahagod yung likod ko. May ritmo yung palo nito na para bang pinapalabas yung mga nainom kong tubig.

"That's crazy. Do you really want to die?" dama ko yung galit sa boses nito. Hinatak ako nito patungo sa gilid ng pool at inahon. Nakaramdam ako agad ng panlalamig ng umihip yung hangin ng inihiga ako nito sa tiles ng gilid ng pool.

"Gosh, okay ka lang? You got me worried."

Napatitig ako sa mukha nito. It's blurred. Like a face that I am familiar with but I can't recognize. She's talking incoherent words that I can no longer decipher.

Napapikit ako.

I am hearing voices inside my head. A lot. Cursing my existence. Telling I'd better be dead. Wishing I wasn't been born. Everyone's laughing. I could hear them all mocking me. Saying how disgusting I was. Staring at me with distaste.

How wonderful it is to be dead? Would the world be better without me?

That's when I felt a pair of gentle hands cupping my face, I could feel her trembling lips pressing into mine. I could taste the tears that are falling on her cheeks.