More Than Fine. (Complete)

34- MTF Bribery will get you Everywhere

      "What's up?" Evie plopped down on the sofa.

     An open pizza box and plates filled the coffee table. Gia had left work early, ordered Evie's favorite pizza, and texted her that they should have a girls' night when Evie got home from after-school tutoring.

     "We've not spent much time together this last week." Things with Evie had been tense. Outwardly they were acting like everything was fine, but the tension between them was palpable. She needed to talk with Evie. Avoidance was not an option. Their friendship meant too much.

     Evie raised an eyebrow and shrugged while grabbing a piece of pizza. "You've been busy with Nick."

     "True, but I feel like it's more than that."

     Evie forced a smile, but her eyes were sad.

     "I want you to know, that I'm not mad at you anymore for what you said about me and Nick last week. I've met with my therapist a couple of times this week to help me think things through. To be honest, I guess you touched on some of my own fears."

     Evie reached out and laid a hand on Gia's. "That's good to hear, the part about you not being mad at me, not the part about needing therapy. I really didn't mean it it a bad way. I just want you to be careful. I want this to work out for you if he's the one God has for you. I just don't want you to be so caught up in the excitement of finally getting over your past that you miss clear signs one way or the other about whether he's the one."

     "Thanks. That means a lot." Gia leaned in and hugged her friend. Pulling back, she confessed, "I was on such an emotional high, and had so many emotions warring in my mind at the time, that I wasn't ready to hear it." She thought back to how raw her feelings were the day after they'd kissed. The excitement tempered with fear of it not working out as well as the very things Evie, Pastor John, and even Nick had mentioned: moving too fast emotionally and physically, trying to force the kiss to prove something, setting themselves up for problems down the road.

     Fear. That's what her therapist said was at the root of her troubles. After having a hard time with male relationships for so long, especially with physical touch, she was having difficulty excepting that she might really have a chance at a something good and healthy. Her doubts were causing her to rush ahead with the kiss, and at the same time question every part of her relationship with Nick, looking for reasons they would fail. Gia's therapist pointed out the fact that Nick and Gia had only been dating a few days, and that though they'd known each other much longer, sometimes there were things people struggled to share with significant others for fear of rejection. Like this thing Nick was holding back. Would she be able to stay in the relationship if he never told her? That was the question her therapist asked her to consider. There was the possibility he never would share that part of himself. Could she live with that? Gia's mind had been working through it for the past week, and had yet to come to a conclusion. One minute she knew everything would be fine without that information, and the next she felt that his trust in that would be key to their future. Not because what he did mattered, but because she longed for his trust. He could tell something was off, but continued to work hard to prove himself. His efforts were pulling her more in the direction of moving past this and letting it go. Was it worth it to give him a chance, or was her heart too fragile for the test? Evie loudly setting down her glass of water brought her back to the present.

     "I'm here for you Gia. Whatever happens with Nick, I'm here."

     An empty pizza box stretched out on the coffee table and laughter filled the room.

     "I'm stuffed." Evie patted her belly. "Look. I've got a pizza baby." She giggled and Gia soon joined.

     "I think I have one too." She stretched her shirt over her belly. "Not sure who is further along. Maybe they'll be close in age and can play together."