The Path to Hue

Part XXI

"How...are.... You feeling?" Emi asks.

"I have never been this high, Daria can you hold my hand?" Sheryl giggles. I don't think she's ever smoked, period.

"Only for a kiss babe,"

"You jerk," she snorts, her hair bouncing everywhere. Yeah. There's no way she's done this before. They smooch and Georgia places her hand on mine. I feel my face flush. Does she want me to kiss her?

"Georgia," Daria coughs, "Coming your way,"

She passes the blunt to her, and Georgia inhales deeply. She has done this before. Holding her breath, she passes it to me. I need this right now, and I can feel Stella's eyes on me. I'm pretty sure she'll be my chaperone if I try anything. I take it from her manicured hands and inhale as she exhales. The entire living room stinks now, even if I don't get a second pass, I'll still be feeling it.

I breathe in and let it down with another breath. It hits the bottom of my chest, and I release. I let myself sink into the couch and pass it Stella's way. I close my eyes and lean my head back, forgetting my surroundings. I don't think about kissing Georgia, I'm here to have dumb fun with my friends. Forget stupid Vi, idiotic Colin, and naive Sky. I can't let my problems bother me right now. I deserve to feel at peace.

The door slams open and Gabriella's voice pierces the room,

"You guys couldn't wait for the most interesting person in the world to get started? Now that's just rude,"

"Hey Gabbie, did you get my pringles?" Stella says, jumping to the door.

"Ughhhh, yes I did. Now will you guys shut up and let me join already?"

"Just leave the snacks in the kitchen, and make sure to use the hand sanitizer-"

"Got it," Gabriella snarks,

-

It's been a few hours and I feel so much better. Stella's anxiously talking about how green highlighters are her favorite--she took the most hits, and is still waiting on Karma's arrival. It's funny, she usually doesn't show up late. Georgia is cuddling into my arm as she plays with her fuzzy keychain. This is nice. And I can feel my eyes... getting... heavy...

Suddenly my phone vibrates, someone's calling me. No, not now. Please not now.

"Who's calling, Ruby?" Stella asks.

"Uh, it's Sk-"

"Does it matter?" Daria abruptly interrupts.

"What do you mean 'does it matter'?" Stella interjects.

"I mean, with all the shit Ruby's been through, does she need this when she's about to finally chill out? My girl was about to take a nap. Ruby, just ignore the call."

"Dari, that's her choice. Let her do what she wants," Sheryl says, holding her girlfriend's arm.

"Yeah, for sure. I'm just telling her what I think. That's all. After all she's told us, I would not want those bitches interrupting my 'me time'. I'm pretty sure that call was sent to voicemail just now anyway,"

I look at the girls and examine their faces. Stella's face assures me that whatever I choose is okay. She leans into Emi's shoulder, hand clutched around her phone. Still waiting for a text back from Karma.

"I... I'm gonna call her. I'll be right back,"

I can see them nod and agree as I step into the nearest guest room. It's scary to call her back, how do I tell her I'm starting to move on?

"Hey, Sky... Sorry I missed your call. I've been... busy. I'm really sorry,"

"Don't be! I just wanted to tell you, uh, I talked things out with Colin and uh- he's out of our lives. For good. I just wanted to update you since our... talk,"

"Yeah, no I totally get it. Uh, I'm hanging out with Stella right now if you wanna-?"

"No, I'm really emotionally drained. I'd love to see you, but I can't be around too many people. Sorry love,"

"That's okay. Don't worry about it... but I've been meaning to ask...Can we talk? Next time we're alone?"

"...Of course. What about?"

"I just... I'm figuring things out right now, I wanted to update you too."

"W-why don't we just do it over the phone? With midterms and all these parties coming up, who knows if we'll have the time. And I don't want that anxiety over our heads, you know?" she laughs.

"I- Okay.... I think we should move on from each other. I don't mind if you wanna be with other people or anything like that. It's not a big deal, right? I just want you to be okay, but now I feel like I'm rambling. I'm gonna stop now- " I blurt. She's silent for a few seconds.

"You... Ruby. Weren't you just wanting to put a label on our relationship? You wanted me to be your girlfriend!"

"And you said no. I assumed you'd want me to move on? Is that not the case?"

"Ruby, it's just... I didn't think it'd all go by this fast. Heck it hasn't even been a week!"

"The sooner the better, no? Shouldn't we just stay friends anyway? Aren't we better like that than whatever the hell we are right now? Isn't that fucked up? That we'd be better off if you just never told me that you liked me?"

"I understand what you're saying. We can stop our... whatever we are. If that's what you really want,"

"You were the one who wanted this," I groan, "Can't you just be happy that I made the stable decision for once? I lost Sunny, I don't want to lose you too Sky. I love you so much, but if I can't have you, I want to move on. Please."

"Yeah. For sure.," she mumbles, "Are you seeing anyone already?" I can hear her sniffling.

"I- I have, but it's not... we're taking it slow- we're not even-"

"Is it Stella?"

"W-what the fuck? No. It's... someone else. You don't have to worry about them. Or me. If you need space--or if you change your mind--just tell me, okay? I don't-"

"I don't want to know who you're kissing and getting cozy with, okay? I'm glad we're in separate dorms. I don't want to see you for a bit if that's okay. I really love you Ruby. Goodbye."

She ends the call and I sit on the guest mattress. My head feels so light. Did I make the wrong decision? No, because Sky won't be with me. It's an impossible thing to ask of her right now. But then she gets so worked up if I try to move on. Fuck. I can't feel my chest now, my lungs collapse and fill violently.

Someone knocks at the door,

"Hey, everything okay?"

It's... Karma?