Every Rose has it's Thorn.

Chapter 21 - Intervention.

A Couple of Hours Later;
Hailey Ackles...

Today hadn't gone like any of us had expected. It is still hard to believe that after what Jonah had done to my sister-in-law, he was permitted bail and had actually paid it - and was now walking around a free-man, making Shay the prisoner. A prisoner in her own home and in some ways in her own head - she was trying to put on a brave face, trying to get us all to believe that she was coping and that she was fine. None of us were buying it.

How could we? Given that she had collapsed a couple of hours ago. Just one look at her and you can see the tragic weight loss, the sunken appearance of her normally bright eyes and the lifeless way she seemed to just slump into the corner of the sofa. As a nurse, it was clear to me that she was sinking into depression, and I didn't have a clue as to how to stop it from happening. Hell, it was akin to watching someone drowning but being unable to swim to save them. I wasn't at all used to the feeling of helplessness. I was always the one who knew what to do - knew how to treat pretty much any injury but this was out of my expertise.

I am terrified for her. This isn't a good path for her to be on and I have tried to think of off-ramps to pull her free, but she just seems unresponsive to anything that I suggest. Yes, it is frustrating, but I can't even imagine what it must feel like to have been violated in the way she was, or how you even begin to come to terms with such savagery, or how you find the strength to rebuild your life afterwards.

Who are we to get frustrated when we have never experienced such a brutal attack? That is the logical reasoning, right? Unfortunately, real life isn't always logical, and we are only human; we can become frustrated and disappointed in spite of knowing that we have no right to be.

It is frustrating and it is disappointing because Shayne has always been the strong one, the one who holds her head up no matter what and keeps on fighting. There hasn't been anything that has held her down before but it's as if Jonah has slipped invisible chains around her and has her tethered to him. And no matter how hard we try; we can't find the key to unchain her. I can only hope that the doctor helps tomorrow.

Curled up at the side of my husband, on the love seat in Shay's front room, we were watching some stand-up comedian on the comedy channel. Shay was curled up in the corner of the sofa, her body resting against Jeremy's, who was holding her firmly to his side. Out of all of us, she seems to react to him the easiest and the most - which makes sense, after being raped the mind sometimes latches on to the first person you see - the mind sort of creates a link that, that first person is your safe place, the one person who will protect you and it seems as if that person is Jeremy for Shayne. I don't think that he minds if I am being completely honest. I can see the way he is with her - patient, gentle, understanding, encouraging - basically everything positive that she needs right now.

I have tried everything I can think of to break her through the surface, even trying to coax her into starting my tattoo but she seems completely unresponsive, there is no drive there to do the one thing that has always been her go-to. Tattooing was her calling - there has never been a time when it hasn't pulled her from whatever she had going on, until now and that was what scared me more than anything.

What if she has lost all of her drive?

What if she never recovers?

My husband wasn't handling all of this very well - it is his nature to fix everything and the fact that he can't seem to get through to Shay is dragging him down, so in essence they are both drowning, and I am completely fucking helpless. I can't even save one of them. Snuggling further into Jay's side, if anything good has come from the attack on Shay, it is the fact that Jay and I seem to have worked through the lump of our issues.