Every Rose has it's Thorn.

Epilogue...

4 Months Later;
Shayne Ackles...

The morning after the first night Jeremy and I had sex - I received word that my court case against Jonah was scheduled for 4 months' time, which brings us to this moment. It has been 3 days of travelling the half hour from my home to the courthouse in a larger, neighbouring city.

3 days of sitting in the same room as my ex-boyfriend.

3 days of having to relive the worst night of my life.

3 days of frayed nerves.

3 days of unwarranted shame.

Yes, shame. As silly as it sounds - I have never felt more judged in my life. It wasn't a feeling that I ever really reacted well to. Not when Jonah's mother had done it on a daily basis and certainly not by a bunch of strangers who didn't know me from Adam. Jeremy, Jensen, Hailey and I had all taken the stand to tell our version of events.

Sitting in the stand, I never felt more uncomfortable in my life. I have never been one for the limelight, if I am being honest, it was one of the reasons that I clung to Jonah as hard and as quickly as I did. Being here in the UK - I had a level of anonymity that I simply wouldn't have achieved in the states where my big brother was far more recognised. I understood what he did for a living though and I understood that the world of celebrity brought a certain sense of violation. It wasn't an issue for me when I was here. At least not until the media caught wind of what had happened. Now my home, my sanctuary simply wasn't my own anymore. It felt everywhere I turned there was some sleazy reporter or photographer trying to catch a glimpse to fire questions at me or snap photos. My life feels somewhat like a fishbowl right now. And dating Jeremy wasn't exactly killing the sudden interest in me.

Jeremy. The man was a Godsend in a way that I hadn't anticipated. And certainly not in a way I was prepared for. Hailey told me that there was simply no way to prepare for love. And I did love him. More than I had believed would be possible for me after what Jonah had done to me.

Yesterday, my lawyer, Jeremy's lawyer, Matthew Hollingsworth, who had agreed to represent me, introduced the photos taken of me in the aftermath of the attack. Along with photos taken during my recovery. Photos of the scene. Evidence by way of DNA recovered from my body at the rape-suite in Aberdeen, my ripped and ruined dress and statements from my friends and family. If I was a lesser woman, I may have found it humiliating but as it stood, I looked at everything with fresh eyes.

Eyes of a survivor. Eyes of a woman who knew deep down that I had done nothing wrong. My lawyer seemed confident that I had the jury in my corner after he had introduced the photos especially - his reasoning being that the graphic evidence leant a visual of realness to accompany my statement.

Jonah's family spent every second of the past 3 days casting daggers in my direction. Another fact that my lawyer seemed to think had the jury on my side. He believed the jury could see it for the intimidation tactics that it was. I didn't rise to it however, opting to keep my eyes on the lawyer and on the judge presiding over the case. I promised myself to be a vision of calm and strength - with Jeremy, my brother and sister-in-law/best friend by my side through it all - it came easy.

"...when Mr. Stevens entered my clients home that night, he had one clear goal - get her back by any means necessary. Unfortunately for Miss. Ackles, she simply wasn't strong enough to fight the perpetrator off, but it is clear that she had the where-with-all to collect as much evidence on her person as she could. Not all survivors have the mindset to fight by any means necessary. Since being released on bail, Mr. Stevens has continued his campaign of terror towards Miss. Ackles - parking outside her home, and recently it has come to light by his own admittance, he has placed audio devices around her home, having broken in when Miss. Ackles visited her local physician for help in the aftermath of all that she has been through - this all indicates that Mr. Stevens has no remorse for his behaviour and I implore you to show him that there are consequences to such blatant terrorism. What would you do if it was your loved one - a sister, a friend, a girlfriend that Mr. Stevens targeted next? It is time that we take a stand and give Miss. Ackles the justice she so rightly deserves. Thank you!"