gasoline | y.min

hyung

;i know you somewhere out there, somewhere far away;

- yoongi

I sit back and leans against the glass door. Admiring his face who is sleeping in a peaceful silent without any naggings. His face is shining but pale under the moonlight. It was a breathtaken sight to see him in that state. Mouth sligthly open, light snores coming out from him, eyelids shut closed and face flushed. The moment when everything that he worried about gone in just a minute because of the sleep he take.

I run my fingers through his hair and smiled. I love him so much it hurts to see him hurting.

Even though I know. That his heart is still with Jungkook. His heart is still there. This is just his body who need care. Somehow I thought to myself to just forget about him. And start a new life. But, how could your heart loses all the sympathy when you found him in the hospital. With wires all around his small figure.

I took Jungkook's place. I took his place as Jimin's protector. Even I'm not as handsome as Jungkook but at least I can make Jimin smiled again.

I look outside. Where the moon shine brightly.

It was the same moon the night when I run through the hallway of the hospital with tears running down my face. I had kneeled myself down in front of the emergency room, banging the door and shouting 'Hyung is sorry' several time. It was then I'm tired. And I waited for him in the waiting area. I fall asleep due to a lots of works at the studio. And when I woke up, the doctor had just finished the surgery with Jimin.

I remember hearing the doctor's word. About him losing weight in a drastic time. About him loses a lots of blood due to a lots of cuts he had made around his thigh and his wrist. About him taking a big amount of sleeping pills until he was lost into unconcious state. About his weight which is from 60 going to 45 in one week. And about him having a severe pneumonia.

When I walk inside the ICU room, I was afraid to see a lots of wires surrounding his body. The doctor had unbutton his upper hospital's shirt to connect a tube that will remove all the excess water that had be kept for long inside his lungs. And there is even heart rate machine beeping slowly. His fingers swelled with a lots of part of his body bandage and plastered due to the big cuts that form. His mouth are connected to the kind of tube that you will find inside the surgery room. The long tube are connected with a tank of oxygen gas. His eyelids are heavy and it hurts to see a few carton of blood had already finished. But he still doesn't have enough blood inside his body.

I cried and I went to the toilet after that, to remove the sick taste from my stomach. Bile rose like engine and I throw up once I left the ICU room.

-

   
;now it hurts much more;

I cooked him breakfast and I dine it on our small dining table. I was about to writhdraw my apron when I heard his voice screaming while chocking.

I quickly run upstairs only to found him on the floor, holding his lungs in a full effort. I quickly carry him on the bed and force some painkiller into his mouth before I called his personal doctor.

Doctor came not long after that and he connect Jimin's chest with a small tube. To remove excess water again. This time, the water flowing out look dirty and it makes me feel sick.

"What with the dirty colour doctor ?"

"I'm sorry Yoongi but if you doesn't remove all the excess water on time, his lungs will swelled and probably the water will turn to somekind of dirt if it was kept for too long."